Is my male friend interested?

[Chupacabras]

^^correct.

[ellie]

Well let's be honest. The reason I feel it's kind of a problem is because I've been in this situation a dozen of times myself. If any of you have read my posts, they're all about "friendship zone" so that is kind of my problem - I seem to get involved with friends all the time and everything gets a mess because you mix friendship with feelings and everything gets messy.

So when I do have guy friends who are interested in me I always try to make sure I don't string anyone along, but sometimes they just don't get the hint and it's reaaaaally awkward to have "a talk", especially when they havent asked you straight out if you're interested.


The way I try to do that is by being VERY distant, not reply to texts etc.

Which is 1) A shame because I like him as a friend but I dont want to lead him on
2) Makes him chase me even more, because you always want what you cannot have...

[Sanctuary]

^ That sounds like a lost cause. Even if you give him the talk he still won't get over it and the friendship wouldn't be salvaged.

Your only solution is to get uglier.

[ellie]

Arghh damn I know
Yeah he's also the kind of person who can just turn his back on you when/if he feels threatened or something like that

Why do feelings always have to mess up good friendships!

[Sanctuary]

Stop showering and you won't have that problem again.

[IndiReloaded]

If this is a regular thing for you Ellie, then you need to examine what you are doing. The problem is likely you as much as them. One or two guy friends, okay, its a 'them' problem. More = a you problem.

I suspect you must overshare w/these guys or flirt or make physical contact or all of the above. These are things that are almost guaranteed to activate certain male instincts. You sure you aren't getting a thrill from the attention?

[Sanctuary]

^ holy shit shes right

But see, this is why hot girls tend to act cold to new guys. Cuz too many guys fall for them = headaches.

[ellie]

Not doing it purposely but obviously I must be doing something wrong! I think I just have a way of interacting with people that some may perceive as flirty

[ecojeanne]

why worry about it. just enjoy the attention, does wonders. you don't sound like an idiot about it, you already know it's nothing.