He can't accept my past

[jdm95si]

Thanks. It's good to know he'll learn eventually, it's just very sad that it won't be with me. I really love him, but anyway... lose-lose situation for me

hardest time of this whole thing is going to be now but right now its a bad situation between you two and will continue to get worse like a bad habit, and bad habits are the hardest to break.

I am proud that you didn't lose yourself in this relationship. This could have gotten worse. Leaving now is the best thing you could do.

agreed, you never want to change the person you are to accommodate someone else's flaw, you think you are doing the right thing when its just letting it mold you and he will still have the same problem.

let us know how it goes, im sure he will beg you not to leave but its for the best, remember that. normally i dont like to have an opinion in the final call of relationships but you've typed so much that im just making a call from what you've told us.

[chump4u]

damn where's that boo button!?!?

.
A Boo from you is a Medal of Honor for me.

[IndiReloaded]

Chumps analysis, even if correct, doesn't make his issues YOUR problem.

Sure, you can understand where he is coming from, but that doesn't mean you get to pay for his mistakes made with other women.

What you did was *before* you were with him. Some people would have said its not his business to even ask.

Tell him to grow the hell up. You haven't cheated on him, your past is none of his goddamned business. Same as his is none of yours. Tell him to either get a grip and deal with what IS or that you'll move on.

Look, I understand cheating partners leave a mark that is hard to erase, and I'm sorry you were cheated on (that's how it sounds like from your post). But that doesn't make me a cheater. And I don't have to pay for the mistakes of the sluts he was with before. If they were sluts, it was his problem for choosing them, not mine for picking up the broken pieces.

This^ sounds like the correct perspective to me. Good luck.

[chump4u]

I can see how what I wrote earlier makes it seem that I blame you for your problems, and that I agree with your boyfriend's nastiness toward you. Neither is true. I'm sure that you are "quite decent," and probably more than that; I am certain that you do not in any way deserve to be badly treated in your relationship. I apologize, very sincerely, for anything I wrote that gave the impression I believe anything else.

I only wanted to point out that your boyfriend is not just a willful, evil child, as you and some of the commentators on here portrayed him. Your boyfriend is "damaged goods," he is seriously damaged, and the damage is not his fault. If you had written "It's not that I don't emphasize with him" in your original post, I probably wouldn't have bothered to write my (yes, nasty) post in response.

But my advice to you remains the same: quit complaining about your situation and decide whether you're willing to hang on to what you have, and wait for your guy to learn to trust you (which he will do, in time), or whether you must dump him and move on. Those are the only options I can see for you.

[Cbrider]

"You will pay...."

Seriously, he said that? This guy is a LOOSE ****ing cannon. This is the kind of guy that could lash out and hit you if he got mad enough.

Not only is this guy a complete tool beyond comprehension, I think he's potentially dangerous seeing how paranoid he is.

Look, we all do things that we aren't proud of from time to time, its human nature. The point is to LEARN from these things. How many guys you've kissed? Really? Who's counting? I have kissed a lot of girls under various circumstances and reasoning, but I would never judge someone for that. Kissing people does, in no way translate to a whore. Whore deals with sex, not kissing. How many girls has he hugged - while were discussing ridiculous statistics.

It wouldn't take a fraction of the effort you are putting in for king shitass here, to truly have a "good" guy fall in love with you. Yes, its work, but this is beyond work, this is servitude. Would you say that your relationship is split 90/10 effort wise, you being the 90? its suppose to be closer to 50/50, drop this guy so he can go find some virgin Mary to date.

P.S. You use complete sentences, punctuation and "you" rather than "u." You're already a prize catch.

[Gigabitch]

I agree with those who have said he's volatile and dangerous. Whether it's his "fault" or not is debatable (sounds like a major fault to me).

Shit happens. People deal with it in different ways. He's chosen to take the shit that's happened to him and make it an excuse for bad behavior.

Why do you want him?

[Cbrider]

I agree with those who have said he's volatile and dangerous. Whether it's his "fault" or not is debatable (sounds like a major fault to me).

He has the mindset of "someone must pay for whats happened to me."

That's a huge fault. If you can't deal with the real world. lock yourself away and die in the shroud of your own sorrow. He's a product of his own inability to deal with imperfect situations. Its a self fulfilling prophecy - The world is unfair to me, so I will be unfair to the world. Broken, you are simply an outlet for his anger, that's not fair or reasonable.

Just thinking out loud here, its not directed at you Giga.

I still can't believe a guy would say "You will pay..." to a girl. I would absolutely come unglued if someone said that to a female I knew. You don't ever threaten someone like that.

[loudrims_inc]

hey "broken hearted"...i go thru the same BS from time to time with my gf and its a PAIN in the A** so i know how u feel...actually, she started with me today about my past lol, it got old real quick arguing about shyt that happened BEFORE my gf was my gf. I accidently giggled at her because i tell her the same stuff as always and didnt know what to say anymore, we settled it but im sure she would bring it back up again...

...as for your situatuon, IMO its immature to put u thru the shyt that hes putting u thru...dont take that shyt from him, its almost like he is using it to blackmail u and make u feel guilty for no reason at all...the past is the past and u did this before u met him so if he cant accept that then u should find yaself another guy because i dont think he will ever move on!