Sus or not?

[misombra]

why go through all the drama of trying to see it. i'm telling you now, this girl is talking to other guys and it's more than friendly.

[IndiReloaded]

Looks like you'll be needing one of these:

[JAG]

Deeply disturbing. She's making herself a huge target for suspicion. I'm never the jealous type, but if I were married and my wife acted like that, I'd definitely snoop on her for a month or so until my suspicions were confirmed / denied. Do you have any other indications that your wife is unfaithful beyond her texting / phone behavior? Is she more distant? Suddenly started working out again? Just things that indicate to you that she's gearing up for a single life or is attracted to someone else?

Hows her social life? Do you both share a social life?


With how guarded your wife is, Indi's suggestion wouldn't help you one bit. You cannot accidentally swipe her phone or try to trick her into giving it to you, since she is 100% on her guard about giving you the phone in the first place. You need to access her data without her knowing it was you if you really want to know whats on there, and that is just a bad line to cross, but you just might need to sometimes.

I think you've hit the nail on the head there.

Its a number of things that have gotten me sus. We haven't had sex for over a month, probably only 2 times in the last 3 months. She says she just isn't interested in it. Before then it was at least once or twice a week.

She has lost a bit of weight (not that she was fat) and has been going to the gym a bit. We have very different social lives, she is very social with her friends whereas I work quite a bit and just enjoy a bit of home time on the weekends.

She is borderline obsessive with this girl she only met a few weeks ago too. Like ridiculous, gets up early to go over there before work to see her, texts constantly (well thats who she says it is anyway), spends nearly every night at her place. This is of course assuming I believe her when she says this is who she is going to see all the time. She stayed there the other night and I went for a drive by late at night and she really was there so I'm not sure on that one.

Unfortunately the phone account is in separate names. You have to ring up and get them to change the bill so it itemizes the messages on the bill, I think she would notice that.

[Elizabeth]

Sorry you are being put through this but at least you have warning and time to think, dont act now, think on it and devise a plan. Do you really need to catch her out? You seem to know she is being unfaithful and she is treating you like an idiot - as if you wouldnt be suspicious when she guards her phone like a hawk. Even if you were to take her phone as you say there will be nothing on it and chances are she will call whoever she is seeing and tell them not to call the phone as you have it. I think you have a better chance of catching her out by seeing if she is where she says she is, have you met this new friend? Could they be an item?

Good luck.

[Charlie Boy II]

I really don't see what the point of ''getting to the bottom of this'' is either. She's quite clearly cheating on you.

[JAG]

Well we broke up last night. I'm pretty shattered but I know in my head that it is the right thing. I've been through bad breakups before, although being married seems to make it feel that much worse.

As it happened the whole phone thing had nothing to do with us breaking up. I knew for a while that she wasn't into the relationship, and since we've been together it has been on again off again many times.

I don't want to waste my life being with someone who doesn't want to be with me.

[Bumble_bee]

^^ she wasn't being fair on you JAG, glad you realised you deserve better. best wishes

[bluesummer]

I know it hurs, but you're better off, she has checked out of the relationship awhile ago it seems.

I was gonna say that the phone thing is totally off (my cheating ex did the SAME THING....I had to steal his phone from under his pillow while he was sleeping), but it doesn't really matter now.