Webcam Sex

[IndiReloaded]

Every relationship has problem there is no perfect thing for sure. He's also a human being. He cant be perfect and he is trying his best. He told me two weeks ago that I am the most special one in his life. He didn't spend any time on anybody as he has done for me. That is true. I saw how he call his friends and family, very simple, no more than 5 minutes. When time is so precious for him, he gives me lots of that. I think that is his special way to express love and caring.

Who are you trying to convince? Not me, I remember your other thread. Denial is a wonderful thing, Kate. I hope it works for you.

[Artemis]

I'm in a LDR with my boyfriend. I have been known to write the occasional dirty letter, but we thankfully do not do webcam stuff. I personally wouldn't be able to get over the coldness. Webcam/phone sex can be a tool for long distance relationships if both parties are willing and comfortable with doing it. There's no sense in doing it if you're not comfortable, defeats the point and makes him into the villain.

And who really wants to be the villain?

But in other words, if you're uncomfortable, it's not going to be meaningful for you, and so if it were me I'd tell him to help himself. (And NOT in front of the friggin' webcam! ) Best of luck.

[Katherine]

To Kms, yes we had sex in real life. And our sex life is just amazing and both of us love it. we did all kinds of stuff together. But I don't know what is wrong with me. I can do any stuff with him but when this camera stuff came I just feel shy and don't know what to do. I am chinese and I used to be very conservative. I still am but only with him I can do crazy and wild stuff. Actually the first time he asked for that was because I told him that I wanted him so bad that day and I wanted him to be here so bad. Then he said we could do this. But when we did that, i started feeling awkward because I didn't know what to do. After that he asked for that a couple of more times. So it was me starting it.

Anyway, I will let him know my true feeling is next time.

[lilsunflower]

No, he didn't do record. He's not that kind of person. I know him very well. We met each other's family already. I think he just needs a little bit more time before he decides to settle down.

But the thing is it is normal for two persons in a relationship having phone or webcam sex?

I am also Chinese and I want to tell you that the "meeting parents thing' does not mean as much as it means to Chinese people. To be honest I don't think it even means much in China.
Plus I remember reading your previous post. I don't think he really sees you as a girlfriend or plans to be with you. How do you know he doesn't have other girls in his life? He doesn't have a job and you guys only talk once a week? hello？？
You can be in denial if it helps. However, webcame sex is not the way to fix your relationship.

[kms]

Yes, good point lilsunflower. Meeting the parents in white, American culture is (typically) a pretty routine, common thing to do, even when you're not even officially bf and gf. It's just generally expected if a child has a love interest of some sort that they bring them to a family thing or take them along to dinner with the parents. My family is pretty religious, but they've met several of my middle brother's 'friends' (friends with benefits - my parents try very hard to repress that part of it, lol). My parents have met several of my regular male friends too... it really isn't hugely significant.

What IS significant is if you are in a relationship and one person refuses to meet the other's parents, or one person doesn't want their parents to meet the other person.... that can cause drama because of the fact that meeting the parents is such a normal, expected thing. It sends a lot of negative messages about the other person, and about the value of the relationship.

[Sanctuary]

Just so you know, he can record you without you knowing. I wouldn't do this if I were you.

Plus, if he really did like you, not doing this would make him want you even more lol.

There's no reason for you to do this if you're unsure.

[lilsunflower]

Yes, good point lilsunflower. Meeting the parents in white, American culture is (typically) a pretty routine, common thing to do, even when you're not even officially bf and gf. It's just generally expected if a child has a love interest of some sort that they bring them to a family thing or take them along to dinner with the parents. My family is pretty religious, but they've met several of my middle brother's 'friends' (friends with benefits - my parents try very hard to repress that part of it, lol). My parents have met several of my regular male friends too... it really isn't hugely significant.

What IS significant is if you are in a relationship and one person refuses to meet the other's parents, or one person doesn't want their parents to meet the other person.... that can cause drama because of the fact that meeting the parents is such a normal, expected thing. It sends a lot of negative messages about the other person, and about the value of the relationship.

I think in China it's more like "I want to marry you and before I propose I will introduce you to my family." However here in America, it's means nothing. I am a big fan of family guy and I do not remember how many girls Brian has brought back for dinner.

[Katherine]

to other guys maybe it's normal. But to him, he invited my parents to dinner because he wanted to know them and wanted them to like him and know me better. When he introduced me to his friends, I also knew that I was the first girl that he introduced to them. It was not like he did this kind of stuff all the time so it didnt mean anything anymore.

Maybe he is cold sometimes, but he is not evil, he is not a villain. He is very honest and always help people out except for those stupid ones that dont deserve anyone's help. Every one that has worked with him here in China admitted he was a good boss to work with because he taught them real stuff even though he is strict and tough.

I met his two best friends. Both of these two guys are very nice persons, real nice, helpful, and kind. It's hard to imagine such persons would make friends with someone that is dishonest.

Yes, I'm in crazy love with him, but I'm not stupid. If he is evil, no matter how strong the love is I will cut him off still. And I will never fall in love with someone that is evil and doesnt deserve my love. Maybe you guys think I'm trying to find excuses, but I know what I am doing.

I know you guys are helping me out. I really appreciate it. But please dont judge him when not knowing him.

[Primo]

Katherine, to answer your original question, 'anything' that two people enjoy doing together sexually is wonderful. So there's nothing wrong with webcamming if you're BOTH into it.

You're not into it, so what's the point? Find another way that you two can keep the sexual spark alive that you both are comfortable with and enjoy.

[qwertz]

If you WANT to do it but are just not sure then first you need to explore your body away from the camera..find what you like more and then when your comfortable with that then maybe involve your bf on WC.
But dont do it if your not 100% comfortable with it...there are other ways.

[Katherine]

Thank you, Primo and qwerty. I guess this is the answer that I need to my current questions.