"Learning to love yourself"

[all alone]

Once you stop freaking out about it, and chill out, you will learn the meaning of this. I used to freak out about it too, and although i didn't have a problem with myself and really did believe in my values/person, however by putting all that pressure on myself I sure wasn't loving myself. Doing way more warm then good.

[Graham Berkeley]

Has that advice gotten your friends anywhere, Graham? That kind of shit makes me want to go live in cave by myself in the mountains.

I think it works when you replace "love" with "respect", though.

Ironically it isn't my friends who say it. My friends know better as they have had their share of proverbial black eyes and fat lips from saying it to me.

[nickyQ]

It just a advice to teach people to love themselves and self-respected,but not a way to let you get a lover

[Cbrider]

I don't understand why that statement is so confusing to some people.

Think "putting the cart before the horse."

[Graham Berkeley]

But I already love and respect myself... When I hear it from someone it just goes to show how little they know me and/or how little they think of my own judgment.

[Burke]

I always interpreted it to mean that you must be comfortable with yourself as an individual before you begin looking for someone else to add into your life.

In other words, I took it as a warning against becoming one of those people who walk around moping about not being attractive enough, not having a bf/gf, not being in a relationship, etc. - because that attitude tends to poison whatever relationships you might start, because you're so desperate to fit into this mold of Perfect Lover! that you can't just simply be yourself.

We're born alone, we'll die alone, and there's precious little time between the two events. Why waste our time trying to force ourselves into relationships that don't fit, simply for the sake of being in a relationship?

If you can't love yourself - accept who you are, deal with it, learn to respect it, and be perfectly content with who you are, on your own.. then nobody else will be able to, either.

ETA: This is one of those bizarre and annoying blanket statements, similar to "it's all part of God's plan", "everything happens for a reason", or "it builds character" - I'm just offering my own interpretation of it. I totally understand why it annoys the crap out of you. It annoys me, too, and I'm lucky enough that I don't have anyone (but myself) shoving such vague platitudes in my face.

[nfatuation]

i've heard this before too... i see it as this im looking at my ex thru a window... i can see her but im focused on my reflection... dumb metaphor i know haha... also i think about what someone told me... which was a quote like he that falls in love with himself will have no rival... and to me its true... i hated people for there weakness when it was because my own weakness... there both not the same but i think go together...