Online Dating mentality

[Stratosphere]

I'm on OKcupid now and have zero luck

[SJ Tavo]

had to reply to this because I make fun of online dating all the time. Yes, we girls do try to take it seriously. However, considering the caliber of men who have contacted me (pictures and quoted emails/profiles are provided on my blog) it's a joke. Guys need to really take a moment and present themselves well - as do women.

Is it possible to meet someone online? Absolutely. But you generally have to sift through 100 idiots before you find a decent guy.

[lahnnabell]

After my ex and I broke up last year (YES, I can finally say it was last year now!), I was bored and intrigued, so I posted an ad on craigslist. Oh man. I got some guys that just sent me a cell number saying, "call me" and I got some guys giving me their life story (telling me they had kids, if they were divorced, way too much info). Kinda wish I'd kept them. I got about 100 responses in about 48 hours.

Part of my reason for posting was to get compliments, but I was also interested in seeing how well it would work to meet someone. I think I chose about 2 guys out of the 100. Most of them just had nothing interesting to offer. No way to hook me in their initial response, so I ignored and deleted them. And any guy that was already telling me about his 2-year old son was too much.

The two guys I did choose... the first guy was great conversation on the phone. He was funny and sounded genuine. But he tried to cuddle up to me on our first date, and that was just too much. I invited him inside and we watched a movie and he just kept inching closer till he was practically on my lap.

The second guy surprised me with a present on our first date. A smurfette doll he bought on clearance at Target. Yeah, I'm not kidding.

[kez73]

The only site I joined for compliments was for a dare with my friend lol. she dared me to put my pic up on that Hot Or Not site, and said she would do the same, just to see who would get the highest rating. What we didn't realize is it was also a dating site LMAO. She was married and kept getting all these crazy messages. I was single so it didn't matter to me but I just deleted them anyway. But I did end up meeting 2 guys on there as friends and we are still friends over 5 years later - go figure lol. Yes I do mean FRIENDS and friends only lol.

It was still another 2 years before I put an ad up on a dating site to see what would happen. I met my current guy on one almost 3 years ago but definitely had to go through 100s of dorks first. Another of my friends joined and has had no luck finding a decent guy in all this time! It seems to be sheer luck, just like going out in person and happening to bump into 'the right guy'. She met a man for coffee one day and then showed another friend his photo, and she freaked out cos this guy was MARRIED. He continued to tell my friend he was not married, that her friend was mistaken, and she didn't know what to believe. So the other girl took her to his house and knocked on the door and there was wifey and hubby sitting together watching tv. But that stuff happens with people you meet in person too - it's not just online. My friend met a guy years ago at a bar, dated him lots, went out in public with him, and then I saw him with another woman that turned out to be his fiancee! Sheesh lol.

[Stratosphere]

Well I guess I'm one of the "dorks" because nobody responds to me. I keep my messages short and just basically say "hello" and then I ask them about what they have spoken about on their profile. Just a simple question like "how long have you painting?" or something. The only response I got within the last several years is "Sorry I just met someone, good luck." But I don't spend much time on it anymore.

[SJ Tavo]

craigslist! I never thought of that - I'm always looking for new material for my blog LOL I will have to create an account and see what happens!

[lahnnabell]

The results are worth blogging, for sure. Have fun

[Mia123]

I joined a dating site just before Xmas. Membership is free but then you have to buy stamps to continue contact. I joined, not to get laid or find a husband. My profile clearly states what I'm looking for but that hasn't stopped leery old men looking for a missus from sending a kiss. One or two I've had to block after repeatedly replying "no thanks".

The process is a double edged sword. On the one had receiving the compliments, or kisses in this instance, can make one feel good but then negative replies to kisses one sends to potentials has the potential (excuse the pun) to knock you back down.

[LailaK]

I'm on OKcupid now and have zero luck

I would suggest playing around with your profile a bit. I've been on okCupid for over a year and it just started to work for me. It really is about finding the right combo of pictures and interests to include in your profile.

I used to be pretty fed up with the site but recently I updated my profile and for some reason I've been attracting a different caliber of dates. Maybe have a friend look at your profile for suggestions.

Also, as a girl, I know that I give guys more of a chance if their initial message to me is more than just "Hello". If the message is personalized to me and shows that he's read my profile the guy gets bonus points. If a guy sends me a canned email that he probably sends every girl, I won't write him back. Think of it this way, in a bar you know nothing about the girl you want to approach, it's like a cold call. Online you have a cheat sheet that the girl provided you with that includes her interests, likes, and dislikes. That's awesome! Find a girl you have similar interests with and start a conversation about that.

[LailaK]

Oh, and there's nothing wrong with a long message. I just came back from a first date with a guy who hooked me with a long message. I'm quite smitten already and trying not to let it show.