a man with a stutter

**Sonrisa** · 09-01-10, 02:49 AM

Originally Posted by loverman1

The video proves i can speak and it took a few takes, but when i talk to my ex girl then its very hard, i remember i was once afraid to see her, afraid even to give her a ride home...I am better now, but i'm not what she needs, not yet anyway.

i am sure there was another problem WHY she didn't like you. and i am sure that YOU know it. what was it?

**Aeradalia** · 09-01-10, 03:20 AM

Stuttering can be a bit of a problem... I know it was one of many things that made me very reclusive as a child. For me... I spoke entirely too fast.. then I'd get caught on a word and I just couldn't continue. It was quite embarrassing trying to say the word and find an alternative word at the same time and getting nowhere.

I've learned to slow down... but I do still stutter on occasion... though I will generally try to ignore it or if need be, poke and make fun of myself so I'll relax.

As for the video... and your story... I doubt it had anything at all to do with your stuttering. I think she just used it as a convenient excuse to just leave. One of the ways to figure it out, would be to ask her if your stuttering problem was gone tomorrow, would that change anything. If she hesitates or gives you a long-winded conditional answer... then you know she's not being truthful.

**loverman1** · 09-01-10, 04:06 AM

people who stutter have nothing physically wrong with them, but they do have bad feelings and associations with situations from when they were very young. for example, speaking in front of people, or speaking at dinner with a group, or with a girl who you find attractive. The brain remembers what happened the last time, and the more you avoid that situation the worse it will get.
Also certain words are harder to say than others. Its all mental, the cure is to go to these situations over and over again, until you no longer fear talking in that moment.

I remember she used to say.."andrew, i just want you to be yourself with me"...and also "i want you to be not so shy with me"
when we broke up she said it was because of my shyness, and she never felt comfortable with me.

It's not the stuttering thats the problem, its only how it effects me as a man, i need to change that part of me..

the only other bad thing she said is that i don't understand her, but we only dated for 2 months.

**Aeradalia** · 09-01-10, 04:14 AM

Originally Posted by loverman1

the only other bad thing she said is that i don't understand her, but we only dated for 2 months.

Expectations a tad high... eh?

**Spring Haze** · 09-01-10, 04:14 AM

Have you tried the device that plays your voice back after you say something?

**loverman1** · 09-01-10, 05:08 AM

my friend has one of those, and they are very expensive, he paid £4000-5000 and it did'nt work very well for him.

I'm on a programme called the mcguire programme and its great, its just going to take time, the mountain is big, but one day i'll be ok..

and yes i think her Expectations of me understanding her were just a tad high !!!!

**Sonrisa** · 09-01-10, 06:14 AM

i got a friend who stutters badly. he is really handsome (as you are as well) and his personality just outshines everyone. stuttering has never been his problem with women/work or anything else.

**Sonrisa** · 09-01-10, 06:17 AM

**Aeradalia** · 09-01-10, 07:24 AM

If you work it just right... you can be the sensitive, creative type... hidden behind a veil of mystery because you don't talk much....

Or... just stick with the strong silent type... that works too.

Now that I think about it... women have A LOT of fantasies involving men that don't talk much... I wonder why that is?

**Indignant** · 09-01-10, 09:36 AM

or you can just be yourself and people will love you for that

**Aeradalia** · 09-01-10, 09:53 AM

Originally Posted by Indignant

or you can just be yourself and people will love you for that

Worked out great for Hitler and Stalin...

(sorry... was that in poor taste?)

**Indignant** · 09-01-10, 09:58 AM

i must disagree about Hitler, he was greatly influenced by others.

**loverman1** · 10-01-10, 02:21 AM

Originally Posted by Sonrisa

i got a friend who stutters badly. he is really handsome (as you are as well) and his personality just outshines everyone. stuttering has never been his problem with women/work or anything else.

he does'nt need any help, because he does'nt let it effect him and thats great, i have a few friends like that, and i wish i could be the same. I guess i'm more sensitive, and thats half of my problem...

**loverman1** · 03-02-10, 11:32 PM

when i was younger my class mates would laugh at me, thats why i'm so shy about it now. I think my girl was right to leave me, its not her fault. But I can see a light now at the end of the tunnel, i'm close, and its because i met her. My dream now must come true i just hope she's still around when i'm better.

You know i'm not afraid to tell that i also had ocd, and other personal issue's going on, i was always going to lose her, but maybe one day soon i'll be just fine and She will always be in my heart)

**Sonrisa** · 04-02-10, 12:22 AM

so you been away for almost a month. and then you come back to share that you also have OCD. what else are you hiding up your sleeve?

Thread: a man with a stutter

Thread Tools

Posting Permissions