Trying to recover from extreme devestation. Six year relationship w/ multi deaths.

[chrisy]

I agree with all those who responded to your post. You need to move on, difficult though it may be. Why don't you purchase a dog? It would give you something to love and fill the void that you currently have.

[TheLostAdonis]

i can't just replace the dog. in fact im not sure i want another dog and to get attached like that. She was a one of a kind dog (to me at least) and she is all that i want

[Slim|Muffin|Bad]

TheLostAdonis - a fitting name by the way haha

How long have you been officially split up?

How do you feel about her being with someone else? do you think you could have sex with her after her being with other partners?

[TheLostAdonis]

Officially about 15 months. Unofficially more like 9. I don't know. I'm disgusted with her. But I still love her in part. Not sure I could ever have a healthy relationship again. She destroyed all of its innocence.

[cmacattack1]

Yes you can. Thinking you are damaged goods now and ruined because of her is just a victim-like mentality.

You made mistakes and so did she. Take the lessons out of this so that you are able to teach your kids the right thing to do. What you had with her you can have with somebody else.

[VincenzoG91]

i can't just replace the dog. in fact im not sure i want another dog and to get attached like that. She was a one of a kind dog (to me at least) and she is all that i want

The dog is the perfect symbol of your despair. The dog is gone. The dog isn't coming back to you. Those are facts.

Also, the dog is your ex, for all practical purposes. The ex is gone. The ex isn't coming back to you.

Now you have a choice. You can either pull yourself together and start living like a man again. Or you can you wallow obsessively in wretched and frankly disgusting self-pity. 15 months is ridiculous. There are plenty of other nice dogs and nice women, and your continuing obsession with one specific dog and one specific woman is an insult to all the other nice ones. You need to move on, because the self-pity is useless, completely useless.

Although I myself am an agnostic, I think that you might benefit from going to church this Sunday. It's free, it's spiritual and it's uplifting. There are very nice people and church, and I'm certain that some of them would be delighted to help you get your life back in order. However, not even God Himself will do anything for you about your ex or that dog. Forget them.

[Slim|Muffin|Bad]

The Lost Adonis -

You have just admitted in your post there that there is never any going back - there is no-way you could ever "get your head round" so to speak her having being with someone else even if you got back together.

I was in a similar'ish relationship in terms of intimacy, but now the innocence of it has gone, and she is with someone else - there is no-way i could ever go back after she give herself to someone else.

How could you have sex with her? knowing (as graphic as this sounds) that some other man has been releasing his spunk in her! Does that make you feel like you want to be with her again??? Seriously?

It makes me almost physically sick to think that thought, but its the truth! and that is the reason why you need to move on, and that is the reason why i am moving on with my life. Because no matter WHAT! you will never, ever accept that. Do you understand?

I am 4.5 months into the break-up (officailly) - and its just getting better everyday, time is the only thing that erasing that memory of her. I'd give anything to back in the relationship we had, but its gone, it was her fault, its over and will never occur again in my life. You MUST accept that same!

I am not a believer in this "rebound" thing either, its just non-sense in this day and age, and it gives idiots false hope.
People just go from relationship to relationship regardless if they are totally over there ex or not, in my opinion you never totally "get over" as it were your ex, you will always love her somehow no matter how much time passes, you just can't be in a relationship with her anymore, because IT WON'T WORK ANYMORE, it FAILED!

[Aeradalia]

Yeah well, love isn't about giving and receiving. It's just about giving. You want to give that to them because it makes you happy to do so. You don't stop loving somebody because they aren't giving back what you give them. If you choose to not be with them because you aren't getting it back is an entirely different thing. We can still love somebody and not be with them.

Love is about giving and receiving... it's highly dependent on that balance. Both give and both receive. When one isn't pulling their weight it drags the other one down. One of you, or both weren't giving their share and so one or both wasn't receiving their shares. When that happens one or both are torn down rather than built up.

There's nothing wrong with wanting a balanced relationship -- where both are willing to work at it. In fact, there's something wrong when you don't.

You'll live through this... there are people who have endured breakups from relationships with longer durations. Just take it one day at a time and try to stay busy. You'll become acquainted with who you really are, and what you really want out of life -- not what "she" and you wanted... or thought you wanted.

Let her go and the dog go, because you're clinging to the past in desperation and that's not healthy. Remember the saying "there's no future in the past." If you want love again, you'll need to work on you for a while. Something wasn't quite right with this relationship and until you figure that out... you'll risk being hurt by the same set of circumstances.

[TheLostAdonis]

But i miss the dog so much. i bonded with her during the deaths of my grandmothers. she was all that i had. since she took the dog away ive been totally dysfunctional

[TheLostAdonis]

im so upset all the time that my short term memory has become impaired. apparently i have some kind of PTS. all i do is take klonopin and play video games. keeps me sedated and distracted from the pain. my grandmas made me feel very special. each one. losing one would be a world of devestation. losing both, two worlds of devestation. losing my "true Love" the end of the universe. having my dog taken away, a shot in the face.

[TheLostAdonis]

i had one dream. marry this one true love, to have both of my grandmothers at our small wedding. my only dream. i don't pity myself, i loathe myself. i squandered true greatness and all i have to look forward too is a "different" life. that doesn't help. The future is a void, you can't know what it is. when you lose all of your anchors...what happens...what happens then? you become lost forever...

[TheLostAdonis]

it doesn't help that my dreams at night torment me. in them i drive my car around the country searching for my lost dog. one recent dream i was on the honeymoon we had always talked about and i tried to tell her that i loved her, it turned into a yell that stretched into infinite and she suffocated me to death.

[Slim|Muffin|Bad]

for some reason you think your the only one thats gone through this shit! Your not the only poor bastard you know who has had there heart not only broken, but crushed into a billion pieces.
I'm sorry but i don't sympathise with your situation because i feel like i've been through worse to be honest. This is nothing compared to my story.

If you can't get over this one stinking relationship, then what chance in life will you have?
Why don't you just go and kill yourself then???? whats the point in living? if you can't be alive in this much pain, then go and die you sad pathetic man! You a waste of space and life, how dare you complain about the life you have, some people in life aren't even given a chance you know! and here is you moaning about some stupid pathetic girl!

You want me final advice???..............you can see this as a challenge to rebuild your ****ing life!

ONLY THE STRONGEST AND FITTEST SURVIVE MY FRIEND!

This bitch isn't worth any of this shit, its never going to happen again, get your head around that, IT'S OVER, the RELATIONSHIP FAILED - accept that you will always love her, because that isn't going to change. But IT'S OVER, never to be repeated ever again in your life.

[cmacattack1]

That's a little harsh.

But he does have a point with this: break ups are something everybody has gone through and people go through every day. What's to say that yours is earth shattering in comparison to everybody else? It has significant importance to you sure, but alot of the time our friends don't care or they eventually get sick of hearing about it all the time.

The only way this relationship can be beneficial is that you learn and grow from this. Not to say that with her it won't work out in the future, but right now it's all about you. This is an opportunity for you to really step to the plate and man up. Make something of yourself and the change will show. Your ex will notice. Or you will prepared for another relationship. It's a win win.

[misombra]

i think it's fuked up that she took your dog.