Uh oh... now she is ready to work on it.

[lovesjoyajm]

I agree with Sookie.

The only reason she gave you that "condition" is so that she would have something to hold over your head. She sounds manipulative and cruel, and she'll probably break your heart again if you do get back together. My advice would be - if you do decide to be with her, make it clear ahead of time that you know you didn't cheat in any way, and she needs to accept that and get over it in order for things to move forward.

[erjennin]

Thank you for your input. I made the decision to tell her because I couldn't live with myself . I don't know why I feel the need to tell her what happened but I didn't want her finding out from someone else and I couldn't re-commit myself with that fact on my mind. I couldn't lie if she asked about it in the future.

[SirWagginston]

I know you must have loved this girl a lot, but you really have to realize that she is an unreasonable bitch. You did absolutely nothing wrong. When she broke up with you, she was not your girlfriend, anymore. She indicated that she would pursue another man, and so it was completely fair for you to pursue another woman if you pleased.

You needed to tell her because it was the easiest way to know if she truly cared about you--if she did, she would have understood. Why worry if she's devastated? Isn't that the exact word you used to describe how she made you feel? That didn't really stop her, did it?

Most likely, she was right when she said that you deserve someone better. You should not bother with justifying yourself or trying to make her feel better; she is the one who needs to apologize. In the off-chance that she is just struggling with emotional issues and sincerely realizes her mistakes, only then should you allow her to make it up to you and love her the way you used to.

[Peter Pry]

SirWagginston,

I could not have said it better myself.

erjennin,

The relationship may be over, but you should be happy for it: this girl is a toxic, manipulative bitch.

[erjennin]

Well guys, I am glad I talked to you. I need to accept that we ended up in the position we are now because of her actions. I didn't ask for a break nor did I break it off. I didn't say that I lost feelings or that I wanted to see other girls, she said all that. If she can't come to grips with the fact that what I did was unemotional and a result of her actions then maybe she needs to grow up. You don't play games with a good committed guy that has a lot going for him (not to brag lol).

I have a feeling that she will always be mad at me or resent me in some way, but in the rare case she realizes that I made the choice I did because of her actions, then maybe we can talk.... although I doubt this will happen.

[SirWagginston]

Well guys, I am glad I talked to you. I need to accept that we ended up in the position we are now because of her actions. I didn't ask for a break nor did I break it off. I didn't say that I lost feelings or that I wanted to see other girls, she said all that. If she can't come to grips with the fact that what I did was unemotional and a result of her actions then maybe she needs to grow up. You don't play games with a good committed guy that has a lot going for him (not to brag lol).

I have a feeling that she will always be mad at me or resent me in some way, but in the rare case she realizes that I made the choice I did because of her actions, then maybe we can talk.... although I doubt this will happen.

turn that frown upside down

[lil_bohemian]

I think you dodged a bullet. I just got out of relationship (if you can even call it that) because I was being jerked around like you were by someone. I let them reel me back in and it ended up happening again. So consider yourself lucky. She sounds like one of those girls that wants you around as a plan b. When you took her serious she got scared and tried to reel you back in. I am willing to bet that if you stayed with her you would have ended up back in the same boat eventually. Let her be mad. It's her loss not yours.

[tufty]

manipulative??? - all women are - get used to it

[erjennin]

I sincerely appreciate all the advice... I'm trying to see who this girl really is. I drew a line in the sand and now it's up to her to react. It's probably done to be honest, but if she shows me that she is someone who is honest with herself and genuine and that she can get over it, we may talk again.... but... I doubt it.