married 70 years...

[CAM]

My grandparents certainly did. One sitting in a car by themselves and not found for two days. The other in a coma for a month. But, one wonders if at least in the brain, deep down, in the last moments, there is some awareness of being loved once or being loved at that time. Perhaps why so many turn to God as the anxiety builds and the spirit abates. I admit to being religious. Prayer helps me escape the darkness and coldness of my bachelor bed and enter into a state of sleep. I am awake right now because I get very lonely before sleep time.

[IndiReloaded]

The normal ups and downs of marriage aside, I'm pretty content to love my husband the rest of our days. We are 20 years together now so I don't expect much will change for the next score or two of our years.

And yes, we still drive each other beyond crazy some days. I do think that either one of us, given another companion of similar qualities, would be able to be just as content. So, as I've posted before, once the basic compatibility is there, I think its more about the personality of the individuals and their attitudes about loyalty and commitment.

[Mish]

Yes, but you've never been married. Also, i think it is sad to think that your culture doesn't consider someone whole unless they are attached to someone else.

Perhaps, but there is some truth to that perspective. Here a lot of emphasis is placed on independance, but in reality being just independent is a weakness. The real strengths lie in interdependence when people work together to achieve common goals. People also need close knit relationships to stay healthy. So personally I view a culture that advocates strong family connections as positive (assuming ofcourse there is no compulsion).

[vashti]

Perhaps, but there is some truth to that perspective. Here a lot of emphasis is placed on independance, but in reality being just independent is a weakness. The real strengths lie in interdependence when people work together to achieve common goals. People also need close knit relationships to stay healthy.

Yes, but you can have this without being married.

[Perryville]

Jeez, Vash. A little depressed are we? Who pissed in your cornflakes? LOL I can only think of one person that I could have said, with a measure of certainty, that I wanted to spend my life with, whether short or long. Unfortunately, That didn't happen. But in my dreams, I dream of her.

[Mish]

Aww, that's sad Cam, but you know, married people can be just as alone. Marriage is no guarantee of emotional connection.

Yeh, and I think if I chose to marry any one of my exes I would probably be in this situation. In many cases in the past I acted on impulse when starting a new relationship without properly thinking our compaitibilities through, which would most likely eventually lead to this outcome.

But there are people out there who are just like us, they think like us, they act like us and they view the world through a very similar perspective, with very similar goals, motivations and levels of empathy and understanding. Being in a long term relationship with someone like that may not guarantee an emotional connection, but it would come very close I think. There are some combinations in which familiarity doesn't irritate.

[QueenofCorona]

Perhaps, but there is some truth to that perspective. Here a lot of emphasis is placed on independance, but in reality being just independent is a weakness.

I see your point, to a degree. However, over here I see constantly the weakness of girls and guys just clinging to someone, ANYONE, to be with someone just for the sake of not being single. Out of weakness. So its a double edge sword.

[vashti]

Jeez, Vash. A little depressed are we? Who pissed in your cornflakes? LOL I can only think of one person that I could have said, with a measure of certainty, that I wanted to spend my life with, whether short or long. Unfortunately, That didn't happen. But in my dreams, I dream of her.

Actually, I am not feeling the blues at all, and this thread moved in a direction I was hoping it wouldn't. It was meant to be light (how many years could you stand), but I chose a bad time to post it, since nights are when CAM and Mish post, and they take this topic very seriously.

[Perryville]

I would probably take it in a lighter vein, and will after the 17th. I think you know why, Vash.

[vashti]

I would probably take it in a lighter vein, and will after the 17th. I think you know why, Vash.

I do? Remind me, then. I haven't had enough coffee to remember anything yet.

[Perryville]

No matter, Vash.

[Mish]

Yes, but you can have this without being married.

You could, but it wouldn't be the same.

"It is more noble to give yourself completely to one individual than to labor diligently for the salvation of the masses" - Dag Hammarskjold

"It would take more humility, courage and strength to build one truly mutually rewarding relationship than it would to continue putting in hours for all other people and causes" - Stephen Covey

[SirWagginston]

I don't see why a society must be either individualistic or family-oriented. I consider myself both. I'm independent in that I don't feel the need to conform to whatever culture I'm in--weird is better if weird is me. But then, I want to be weird together, with someone else.

[irrelevant_89]

Of course this could change if the right person came along but right now I think I'll be single when I reach mid-age, and stay like that until I die. You see, on the one hand I am not comfortable around most people, and even those I like to talk to I keep at "arm's length" because I wouldn't feel comfortable getting too close. But on the other, I've been feeling increasingly lonely and found myself really wanting to find a SO. I blame it on hormones.

So, as long as I'm driven by hormones I'll probably look around for such a person but never get beyond few, and far inbetween, flings, and then grow old, grumpy and misanthropic, and eventually happy, alone :]

[Asip4u]

I use to think that being with someone for a long time would make me happy. I see so many people including my parents so miserable all the time just makes me think that maybe i'm wrong. I believe we're all selfish to a point which makes it hard for us to be with any person for that long and still be happy.Part of the reason is because we change. I guess it comes down to what you're willing to put up with. Does being together really make you happier or do you do it because like so many we need to cling on to someone? Perhaps as someone mentioned it's a weakness in us.