Hurt :(

[LailaK]

Ah yes, the cliche 'you don't know me' response. All we're missing now is a large black woman in the background to snap her fingers. Rather than get defensive at the opinion of others based on the limited information YOU provided, why don't you tell us more about all the moves you put on this guy?

Why do you even care to know? You seem perfectly happy attacking my character (and race if that's what you were doing). I don't need to prove myself to someone who's being rude and nasty to me.

[Emesis]

Why do you even care to know? You seem perfectly happy attacking my character (and race if that's what you were doing). I don't need to prove myself to someone who's being rude and nasty to me.

So you don't mind spending energy by getting defensive and putting up a front but as soon as someone calls you out, it becomes too bothersome to answer a simple question? LOL

[LailaK]

So you don't mind spending energy by getting defensive and putting up a front but as soon as someone calls you out, it becomes too bothersome to answer a simple question? LOL

I like talking to people. I'm happy to answer your questions but not if you're acting like a jerk.

[ZiggyZ]

Well, I'm just a confused mess right now, I watched my crush stick her tongue into someone else's mouth yesterday, and at this point I don't even know if I still want her. I mean my FEELINGS are still there, but my rational mind is just saying: "let go, it isn't worth it.".

Still, no matter how scary it might be for me I do want to just come clean to her and see how she reacts, I don't think I can let go before I know for sure that things are just over.. (if there was any "thing" to begin with)

Anyhow, I could still use some advice on how to bring this up in conversation, we don't get alot of alone time, and that guy she's "seeing" atm is there almost every time now. And he is a tricky one, he's a very agressive attention seeking dude, I can talk to her for a few minutes before he forces himself between us and literaly acts goofy and dances like a lunatic to make the girl laugh, he is very persistent, oh well turns out it works though.

Anyhow, anyone knows what to do/how to act when those things happen, and he's being so damn protective/possesive?

[Emesis]

I like talking to people. I'm happy to answer your questions but not if you're acting like a jerk.

Could you please share what you consider "putting yourself out there over and over again?"

[Emesis]

Well, I'm just a confused mess right now, I watched my crush stick her tongue into someone else's mouth yesterday, and at this point I don't even know if I still want her. I mean my FEELINGS are still there, but my rational mind is just saying: "let go, it isn't worth it.".

Still, no matter how scary it might be for me I do want to just come clean to her and see how she reacts, I don't think I can let go before I know for sure that things are just over.. (if there was any "thing" to begin with)

Anyhow, I could still use some advice on how to bring this up in conversation, we don't get alot of alone time, and that guy she's "seeing" atm is there almost every time now. And he is a tricky one, he's a very agressive attention seeking dude, I can talk to her for a few minutes before he forces himself between us and literaly acts goofy and dances like a lunatic to make the girl laugh, he is very persistent, oh well turns out it works though.

Anyhow, anyone knows what to do/how to act when those things happen, and he's being so damn protective/possesive?

Don't do it. I'm telling you that no good will come from this.

[ZiggyZ]

Hmm, okay, I guess you're right. I'll just pretend to not give a crap and put on my fake smile.

[LailaK]

Could you please share what you consider "putting yourself out there over and over again?"

Exhibit A: When I got tired of just hanging out I told him "You should take me on a real date." He did and we had a great time (at least I did). But in hindsight this was a mistake. I think I scared him by asking him out.

Exhibit B: After talking on the internet/phone for a week (without him asking me out again) I said "We should go on a DATE again I had a lot of fun." He said he had fun too but was traveling so it would have to wait until the following week. The following week came and went with no contact from him. I chalked it up to "He's not into you, dude" and started taking steps towards moving on (ie going on dates with other guys I knew were interested). Last week he contacted me, using a lame excuse to initiate conversation. This is what I mean by "He's treating me like a friend". I've been friendly right back but I'm not going to flirt or ask him out again. No use beating a dead horse.

[LailaK]

Hmm, okay, I guess you're right. I'll just pretend to not give a crap and put on my fake smile.

OR... You could just avoid being friends with her completely and when she asks why tell her honestly "I'm not interested in being JUST your friend."

This is a rather harsh way of getting your point across that you like her and it's relatively safe for you. You're not saying "I like you! Choose me!!!" You're saying "I'm distancing my self from you because I sense you're no longer a viable romantic interest." This drives girls nutso.

It also saves you from having to pretend you don't like someone while they suck face with someone else. I've been there, it sucks. Never put yourself through that.

[Emesis]

Hmm, okay, I guess you're right. I'll just pretend to not give a crap and put on my fake smile.

No, you're missing the point. Don't put on an act for this girl. Don't pretend to smile or show her what she's missing out on. Walk away from her completely.

[Emesis]

Exhibit A: When I got tired of just hanging out I told him "You should take me on a real date." He did and we had a great time (at least I did). But in hindsight this was a mistake. I think I scared him by asking him out.

Exhibit B: After talking on the internet/phone for a week (without him asking me out again) I said "We should go on a DATE again I had a lot of fun." He said he had fun too but was traveling so it would have to wait until the following week. The following week came and went with no contact from him. I chalked it up to "He's not into you, dude" and started taking steps towards moving on (ie going on dates with other guys I knew were interested). Last week he contacted me, using a lame excuse to initiate conversation. This is what I mean by "He's treating me like a friend". I've been friendly right back but I'm not going to flirt or ask him out again. No use beating a dead horse.

All it sounds like to me is you gave him orders to take you out. Sorry, but most guys don't take kindly to being bossed around by a woman. Did you plan activities on dates or did he? Who paid? Did you flirt with him at all? If so, what did you do to show interest?

[ZiggyZ]

OR... You could just avoid being friends with her completely and when she asks why tell her honestly "I'm not interested in being JUST your friend."

This is a rather harsh way of getting your point across that you like her and it's relatively safe for you. You're not saying "I like you! Choose me!!!" You're saying "I'm distancing my self from you because I sense you're no longer a viable romantic interest." This drives girls nutso.

It also saves you from having to pretend you don't like someone while they suck face with someone else. I've been there, it sucks. Never put yourself through that.

Well, that's the hard part, we have alot of mutual friends and we go out together, so if I choose to erease her from my life, I will kind of erease my friends too, and I don't think that's worth sacrificing. I'm thinking of just not talking to her anymore when she's there though, just don't put in anymore effort and try to focus my attention on anyone else.

[vashti]

Oh lord, LlailaK... "what did you do to show interest"??? something tells me you aren't going to be able to get through to emesis. I'd forget trying.

You were clear as a bell about your interest - the guy just wasn't all that interested.

[Emesis]

Oh lord, LlailaK... "what did you do to show interest"??? something tells me you aren't going to be able to get through to emesis. I'd forget trying.

You were clear as a bell about your interest - the guy just wasn't all that interested.

I don't expect you to understand because you have a vagina. I'm trying to relate to the guy in her scenario. If LailaK ordered him around and then expected him to plan dates and pick up the tab, then I'm not surprised he wasn't interested.

[vashti]

How old are you, emesis? And I ask again: were you aware that you gave yourself a screen name that means "vomit"?