My friend, My brother, Me...

[girl68]

Well Rabbit for you that texting a hundred times a day is normal but over here that means you want to bone them.

[girl68]

I'm worried for my brother and pissed off crazy girl is going after my non-crazy brother.

[davidtorres]

ive been there just like your brother. Usually i back off to respect my sister. However, your bro wants her and she wants to spread her legs for your bro. lol

[Gigabitch]

I think if you just let it run it's course, it won't last long. She's a nut and a pain in the ass. Unless your brother is some kind of bitch magnet, he'll tire of her crap quickly.

[thewhiterabbit]

I was just pointing out that the obvious interpretation of the situation isn't always the actual one. Not saying that is the case here, but that you should think about it.

[girl68]

It's damn annoying to see my friend macking on my brother. I mean I'm with him often and my friend doesn't text me but every 20 seconds my brothers phone goes off.

That is annoying. VERY.

[girl68]

Well I had a talk with my brother. Laid it all on the line.

Told him I don't like it and if it continues our friendship is over. I also told him if it's hid from me, I will be very angry. I tried to touch on some of her issues but he wanted nothing to do with it. I think now that he knows not to rock the boat he may back off.

As for my talk with her that has yet to come. But she does know that I'm mad at her.

[Asip4u]

Well I had a talk with my brother. Laid it all on the line.

Told him I don't like it and if it continues our friendship is over. I also told him if it's hid from me, I will be very angry. I tried to touch on some of her issues but he wanted nothing to do with it. I think now that he knows not to rock the boat he may back off.

As for my talk with her that has yet to come. But she does know that I'm mad at her.

I hope this doesn't backfire, girl. Sometimes when you tell people what you don't like, they do it on purpose. Hopefully he'll listen and back off.

[girl68]

Maybe but if it does not only does it backfire on me, it will on them too. Big time.

[girl68]

*Update*

I talked to my friend too. Well we've been trying to meet up for at least a week and we just couldn't due to scheduls. So one day our mutual friend (they are best friends) asked me if anything was up. And I told her. I also told her not to tell her because I was going to. Anyways a week or so passes and I still haven't talked to her and our mutal friend has been encouraging us to meet up to make amends. Well she told my friend I was mad at her blah blah blah. And my friend confronted me. She told me she was mad that I didn't talk to her sooner. That I dhoulsn't have kept this all to myself blah blah blah. I guess she's mostly right. However at one point I was so pissed that if I did talk to her I would have said nasty stuff, stuff you can't take back. So I decided to keep my mouth shut for a few days.

I told her I didn't like the idea of them together and that I thought she should have told me about their little outing. I also apologized for not coming to her sooner to express my concerns and that I should have handled it better. So here I am saying sorry and she says nothing. She claims that she's done nothing wrong since nothing happened. She doesn't think this is a big deal. To respond to that I say okay, I understand how you could THINK it's not a big deal but I'm telling you that it is. She said "I'm sorry you feel that way". That's her apology. I tell her that it's annoying that I'm sitting here apologizing for the way I handled it but you sit there and claim that you've done nothing wrong and you don't dare see how I might feel about this, nor do you apologize. She kept saying she has nothing to apologize for since nothing happened. She never thinks she's done wrong. This isn't the first thing that only I apologize and she doesn't, when we were BOTH wrong.

But either way. She told me she wouldn't move in on him without at least speaking to me first. And nothing did happen and according to her now, it won't happen. She says I should trust her. That's a whole other story.

Part 2. So I was annoyed at the mutual friend who told my friend I was mad when I specifically asked her not to! So I tell her, I'm not super mad since it wasn't gossip and I was going to speak to her eventually so I don't care that it got out. And she says they're best friends they talk about everything. I'm like uhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah okay.I consider these girls very good friends (most of the time) but this was very off putting. I asked her to confirm that if I tell her something in confidence would she keep it? She said "well we are best friends". So yeah. She basically confirmed that no, it will not be kept confidential. Alright then, at least now I know that I've got to keep my mouth shut about personal shit. Shitty position.

[mrtdg82]

Just a quick view on this from me who has had several of his mates 'get' with his sister at somepoint.

Ive always been of the opinion that she is old enough to deal with things herself. If friends want to crack onto her then go for it, shes a good looking girl and she's not stupid so wont take any messing around.

But ive always been like that with her. Id expect if it went further then flirting or maybe a kiss then a mate to tell me but at the end of the day i treat her as an adult who has to make her own decisions. I for one wouldnt want her getting involved in my business so i treat her the same. I am quite close with my sister so normally we would be up front anyway.

Just a view and certainly not telling you how you should be because everyone acts in different ways. Im just of the view that if 2 they are 2 adults then let them get on with it and allow them to make there own mistakes if it turns that way.

[girl68]

I get all that. But to me, when a friend hooks up with my brother that friendship is over. I will be nice and civil but I would no longer ever want t hear anything sexual come out of her mouth ever again. Because the last thing I want to hear about is how great (or bad) my brother performed in bed. And as our friendship stands now we can talk casually about getting nailed and hot fantasies and such. And to talk about that and know it's all happening with my brother is just straight up nasty. IMO of course.

Anyways apparently it isn't going to happen. And she knows that ain't cool in my books. Though for the life of her she can't understand why.

[MissAnn]

Well, typically people don't know that they are neurotic and materialistic, so she probably thinks she is a great match for your brother.

I was in a relationship with my best friends brother. We started dating after she moved to another state and did not tell her for the first couple months we were together. Not because we wanted to hide it, but more because it seemed like if it didn't work out it would cause needless awkwardness for her. She was PISSED and we did not talk for a year.

We are friends again now. Her brother and I are no longer dating, but the break-up was fairly smooth so it wasn't too bad as far as causing drama. Every now again we will be talking about past sexual exploits though, and I realize I have to watch what I say to her so as to not share sex stories about her brother

[girl68]

So at least I'm not the only one who would be pissed. But good on ya for keeping details on the DL.

[IndiReloaded]

So, if I understand your post, you wouldn't have issues with her dating your brother IF she didn't have serious issues. Is this right?

I agree with Giga. Tell him your concerns. I suspect the reason he wouldn't listen to you is the way you approached the subject. Tell him you love him, that you are worried that your friend has an eating disorder and possibly other related psych issues and you don't want to see him (or her) hurt. The best way to get someone to listen is to approach the problem with concerns for them, not yours.

Beyond that, its really not your business. Frankly, your friend saying "i'm sorry you feel that way" is entirely reasonable. She has nothing to apologize to you for.