How can I pursue a relationship with my male friend?

**ftm** · 15-05-10, 02:32 AM

Originally Posted by accodata

I have no idea how to flirt. I can't tell when someone is flirting, and I don't know how to flirt. Tips would be appreciated...

People have already given you advice on this. (girl68, for one) Touch him, for starters! For example, you are sitting at a table with him in a coffee shop or a restaurant; press your leg up against his under the table. It's not rocket science. Think about what you'd like for someone to do to you to show you that they like you, then do those things to him.

accodata · 15-05-10, 02:35 AM

Is there anything that I could say that would be an obvious flirt/pass at him?

**ftm** · 15-05-10, 02:40 AM

Ask him if he's ever wondered what it would have been like if you guys had ever gotten together. If he says yes, ask him why he never asked you out.

It's not hard to drop hints. And this guy kisses and hugs you and puts his hand on your knee. TRUST ME, unless the guy is gay then he's thought of you in "that way."

accodata · 15-05-10, 02:47 AM

Would it be okay to be that forward with him to ask him if he's ever wondered what it would have been like if you guys had ever gotten together?
Is there anything else I can say that wouldn't be as forward? The reason I'm asking is because I'm confident with friends but uptight and shy when it comes to intimacy.

**xxazurexx** · 15-05-10, 02:51 AM

I think pressing your leg against someone elses is kinda obvious and too forward.....it needs to be subtle action and touching.
She doesn't want this guy thinking she's a 'bitch in heat'...lol

Subtle touching, as in if he tells a joke and you laugh, lean towards him and gently touch his arm and as you are laughing.
Tease him. Not as in playing hard to get, but as in playfully tease him. Pick up on something he says or does, then make a playful joke of it.
Smile a lot and act really happy and to be with him.

**ftm** · 15-05-10, 02:53 AM

Well, of course, there are many things that you can say, but the more direct you can bee the better, just because guys don't always do well with subtle signals. It sounds likee what you are hoping to do is subtly entice him into being the one to make the obvious move. Of course, that is one strategy, but what you have to consider is that he may be just as shy about it.

There are many small things you can do. Linger a bit longer over a hug. Touch his leg the way he touches yours. Compliment him on his looks. If you escalate things physically even slightly and notice that after a while he responds in kind, that's a positive sign. If you are scheduled to go somewhere together, wear something cute. Ask him how you look. If/when he compliments you, tell him you are glad and that you thought he would like it. Really, the list of things you could do is endless.

You need to keep in mind that there isn't any way for you to do this without putting yourself "out there."

**xxazurexx** · 15-05-10, 02:54 AM

Originally Posted by accodata

Would it be okay to be that forward with him to ask him if he's ever wondered what it would have been like if you guys had ever gotten together?
Is there anything else I can say that wouldn't be as forward? The reason I'm asking is because I'm confident with friends but uptight and shy when it comes to intimacy.

Too forward IMO....:|

Be 'playful'....

accodata · 15-05-10, 02:55 AM

Just to clarify - I'd like to date him and not appear like I'm only interested in sleeping with him, as xxazurexx mentioned

**girl68** · 15-05-10, 03:02 AM

"OMG you're so funny" as you laugh and touch and squeeze his arm "oh geeze, you're hilarious!" as you tap his leg.

it isn't rocket science. honestly you sound way to shy to be able to pull of the flirting thing.

**xxazurexx** · 15-05-10, 03:05 AM

^^Thats true.

If you are shy OP, you won't ever be able to pull this off.....lol

This kinda stuff comes natural to me, it's 'second nature' and if I'm interested and am comfortable around him.

accodata · 15-05-10, 03:12 AM

Could I brave it and first ask, "Are you seeing anyone at the moment?" during our next conversation. And then perhaps near the end of our meeting tell him that I like him? Would that seem too eager? I'd prefer if I could reel him in a bit first, but I'm not sure how to act or appear 'attractive'?

**xxazurexx** · 15-05-10, 03:24 AM

^^Well I'd be doing none of the above, but the braver than me would I guess.

I'd want to get some idea of his interest level in me firstly and before I went giving obvious signs/spilling my guts.

So I'd be sticking with the flirty behaviour and see how he reacts to that. And if he remains a 'dead fish' to it.....then Id be throwing him back in the water. lol

OP, I'm unsure there is any hope for you

accodata · 15-05-10, 08:15 AM

What do you mean by, 'OP, I'm unsure there is any hope for you'?

**girl68** · 15-05-10, 08:22 AM

If you can't flirt I HIGHLY doubt you'll be able to pull off the asking if he's seeing anyone/ telling him you like him.

accodata · 15-05-10, 08:52 AM

If I can't flirt, is there another way I could push us past friendship?

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