How to handle this...

[adam95]

Well you're making the right decision of keeping your job. Even working as a manager for a short time will make you a lot more appealing to employers. Also, your bf isn't settled yet. It would be better and less stressful, i believe, if you just move their later, when he has a proper job and you're more confident in finding a better job. Good luck and I hope you guys manage this situation.

you were born in jeddah? im in riyadh for a few months. when did you leave saudi?

[lahnnabell]

I left when I was very little. My parents used to work for Raytheon, and lived overseas for a few years. I think it is where my passion for travel comes from. In my childhood house, I grew up surrounded by all of these beautiful pieces of African and Saudi art, books on Red Sea life, and tons of slides of their time spent abroad in Saudi and Africa.

[VincenzoG91]

IIRC, it hasn't been that many months since the last time you two were long-distance. Until his life stabilizes somewhere, following him around is going to be too disruptive to your own career.

[lahnnabell]

I got a lot of responses from my favorite peoples. Thank you guys. I'd love input from others too. Keep it coming

[adam95]

yay i'm a favourite =P

[Raze]

I think if it was meant to be, you guys would somehow find a way to be together and have your dream jobs too since work is important to you. It wouldn't be the first time a relationship hasn't worked out due to work issues.

[adam95]

well i think all you can do now is take it a step at a time. accept the job while he moves and just work it out from there. i'm sure it won't be so hard if you really love each other.

[Indignant]

I left when I was very little. My parents used to work for Raytheon, and lived overseas for a few years. I think it is where my passion for travel comes from. In my childhood house, I grew up surrounded by all of these beautiful pieces of African and Saudi art, books on Red Sea life, and tons of slides of their time spent abroad in Saudi and Africa.

awww! I used to work for Raytheon! Still have my badge somewhere

[lahnnabell]

well i think all you can do now is take it a step at a time. accept the job while he moves and just work it out from there. i'm sure it won't be so hard if you really love each other.

I agree with you all on this front.

Mostly the issue comes down to whether or not he wants to try an LDR, or if he feels it's just too much. I mean, his being in NYC is a lot more convenient than the 4 months he spent in Mexico. He'll have a consistent, strong internet connection, and I'll be in a better spot financially to fly out and visit periodically. I know some of you think I should just call it quits, but I want to stick it out. I'm a natural leader, and very experienced and emotionally strong, so I need to set the pace here. He can decide whether or not he wants to keep up.

[nerdy_guy]

I'm a natural leader, and very experienced and emotionally strong, so I need to set the pace here. He can decide whether or not he wants to keep up.

It's not about you. It's more about him. LDRs require great fortitude. He should be mentally strong. I take it that he's a bit geeky and nerdy? He should shift his game, less heart, more head.

The arguments! ooohh.... landmines! You'll definitely be posting those here.

[lahnnabell]

It's not about you. It's more about him. LDRs require great fortitude. He should be mentally strong. I take it that he's a bit geeky and nerdy? He should shift his game, less heart, more head.

The arguments! ooohh.... landmines! You'll definitely be posting those here.

He and I don't really argue. Sure, we've had issues, but I'm very proactive about talking about my feelings. If he's done something that bothers me, I sit him down and talk to him about it. We don't yell or curse at one another because that doesn't solve anything. He's very good at listening and taking what I say to heart, and I do the same for him.

Geeky and nerdy aren't the best words to describe him at all. He's much more introverted, though not shy, and is a very cerebral person. He's the type of guy that prefers to chill out at home, throw on the jazz, and shoot some pool or watch baseball. He's the type of person that prefers to show his affection more than verbalize it, and he does lots of little things to show me how much he cares.

I'm not sure if he worries that I'm going to leave him for someone more convenient, or if he worries about missing me more than he can handle. Possibly both. He and I still need to talk. I'm gonna see him tomorrow when I finish work, so we'll see how it goes. I talked with him today and asked him how he was feeling and he said he's trying not to think about it right now.

[nerdy_guy]

The problem is, this time you can't "sit him down". It's always easier to settle thing when you see each other. I'm not saying that you'll both be screaming and shouting if both of you are miles apart, but I know from experience that the distance adds a lot of tension so I'll give you a heads up on that one. He actually behaves more like me, homey, Smooth jazz, but I'll swap out a pool table and baseball game with a PC and cooking show anytime

He said that he's trying not to think about it would definitely mean that he's preoccupied and worried about how his life would be like when he's in NY and the thought of you guys being far apart keeps cropping up in his mind. I think it would be best if you comfort him and don't tell him about what he might worry (you looking for someone more convenient or something else). It might artificially put the wrong thoughts on his head. Don't impose anything (again, just a heads up), listen to his fears, and work from there.

[Junket]

i'm sure it won't be so hard if you really love each other.

HA!

Are you kidding me?

It's even harder because you're both less likely to toss in the towel so soon.

In fact, if you really love someone that much, you'll drag it until there's nothing left.

Love can be incredibly painful.

EDIT:

Lahna, let me just give you my recent experience in a temporary LDR of my 4 year relationship.

We hadn't seen each other for about a month and a half. So...6 weeks.

The first week was fine.

The 2nd-4th week was torture, I had regressed into the hopeless romantic I started the relationship as.

As it progressed into the 5th and 6th week I started to level out and become...somewhat callous.

Yes, I missed her, but it's difficult to maintain that same kind of intensity over a prolonged period.

I think the biggest thing going for us in this situation was that we were working towards a common goal, so it was still "we" and not, "you and I". That really makes a difference...

[adam95]

yeah so if they don't toss the towel in so soon, more chance it can work out. Besides theres a million ways to stay in contact these days and considering he's still in the same country, it won't be so hard to go and visit. Yeah, i know its not easy. I was in a LDR for about a 2 months as well and I didn't even have an internet connection. It was really hard but we stuck through it, determined that the distance won't separate us. And I believe it's more easier on the person who leaves than that who is left behind as he will be experience new things and what not. Whereas you will be in the same place left with a billion things to remind you of what you guys used to do. So he's actually in an easier spot.
It's much harder when you get in an argument. It's easier to patch up when your face to face then long distance but i hope you won't get much of those.

[Junket]

yeah so if they don't toss the towel in so soon, more chance it can work out. Besides theres a million ways to stay in contact these days and considering he's still in the same country, it won't be so hard to go and visit. Yeah, i know its not easy. I was in a LDR for about a 2 months as well and I didn't even have an internet connection. It was really hard but we stuck through it, determined that the distance won't separate us. And I believe it's more easier on the person who leaves than that who is left behind as he will be experience new things and what not. Whereas you will be in the same place left with a billion things to remind you of what you guys used to do. So he's actually in an easier spot.
It's much harder when you get in an argument. It's easier to patch up when your face to face then long distance but i hope you won't get much of those.

Dude, 2 months ain't shit.

I was in an LDR for...shit, over a year.

It's expensive, it's emotionally draining, and it never gets easier as time goes on.

LDR's should not replace a healthy relationship, they're simply a hiatus until two people can resolve where they want the relationship to go.

I had hit rock bottom at one point and almost broke it off during that year. There needs to be an end point.

Point being, LDR's should only be temporary.

Lahna, I'm not trying to scare you out of this one, I'm simply trying to give you my perspective (as a male) of having been through an LDR.

Don't think too hard about it, do what you feel is right, at this moment.

You'll cross those bridges I mentioned when you get to them.