in need of help!!

**xxazurexx** · 12-02-11, 07:49 PM

hese are all excuses. im at work so i will call you when i get off because you dont seem to understand...

She told you that you had issues and she wanted to stop talking to you on the phone for a while.

It's your birthday. You mentioned getting a call from everyone else, except the person you rely on and trust, ie: her

You are NOT UNDERSTANDING and don't seem to be understanding, that she doesn't want to talk to you on the phone, or else you wouldn't have moaned about the fact she didn't call you!!!!

As an outsider to your situation, I can understand why you'd want to have recieved a call from her - but I'm not HER and she asked for space!!

In her eyes, you will come across as being clingy and from her point of view I could see why she thinks you have issues....

You are trying to force a situation, that at this moment is not going to happen. If you keep on trying to guilt trip her and pester her, this friendship will soon be over.
There is nothing worse for a female and than to have some man we don't want a relationship with, try to force himself on us....and we will 'run for the hills', if he can't 'accept' we don't want a relationship with him.

**ktm390** · 12-02-11, 11:28 PM

why do you keep asking for the same advice but then ignoring all suggestions by doing the complete opposite? so screw it ill just tell you what you want to hear....yeah just ignore what she has said to you and the way she has acted and just keep calling her and texting her! she is gonna love you for it. it is going to work like magic and she is gonna get back together with you and live happily ever after!

**smackie9** · 13-02-11, 12:16 AM

Then you reply that you are willing to understand if she is willing to explain everything.

**IncognitoSir** · 13-02-11, 12:37 AM

man break up with her. If the shoe were on the other foot, I GUARANTEE you she would of been gone a looooooong time ago. I can't believe people here are telling you to give her space and what not. She's not communicating with you. She's shut you out. And for what reason, hell, she won't even tell you why! Move on man, that's the BEST option for you.

**geolink** · 13-02-11, 01:18 AM

We talked i told her it will be fine i trust her and respect her decision.
she told me that it is indeed the me being lovey dovey and pressuring her which i also understand because i do well do that.
I asked her if its her way of breaking up with me she said thats the last thing i want.
I told her its gonna be hard but whenever you feel like it any time of the day she can give me a call.

so i did good and i feel somewhat better.

patience i guess.

**smackie9** · 13-02-11, 01:27 AM

Originally Posted by geolink

We talked i told her it will be fine i trust her and respect her decision.
she told me that it is indeed the me being lovey dovey and pressuring her which i also understand because i do well do that.
I asked her if its her way of breaking up with me she said thats the last thing i want.
I told her its gonna be hard but whenever you feel like it any time of the day she can give me a call.

so i did good and i feel somewhat better.

patience i guess.

This could be part of the reason why she pushes you away is because you may not realize how hard you are pushing her for attention. Giving someone space and letting them have a life outside the relationship keeps things fresh. Maybe you should have other things to talk about when you do have chats, like the people you have met and the new things you are experiencing there.

**geolink** · 13-02-11, 02:51 AM

i guess im just scared of losing her.

i feel i am so lucky to have her and losing her will do me in.

as i said i acknowledge that she needs space and i am ready to give her everything she needs./

**xxazurexx** · 13-02-11, 02:55 AM

Gotta say that anyone requesting space from me, wouldn't get the time of my day.

She acts like you are a toy that she can take out of the cupboard to play with once in a while and put you back again when she is bored.

Still...if that is what makes you happy, go for it.

**SelflessnHumble** · 13-02-11, 03:20 AM

Answer: People change: feelings change: LIFE is change.

She was too much of a coward to tell you the truth of what happened.
I suspect she is seeing someone else and didn't have the courage to tell you the truth.

The fact is: you blew it because you never addressed it.
She blew it because since you never asked (under the pretense that you thought she would tell you) She never felt like addressing it: because you did not either.

Lack of open and honest communication is what kills relationships.
Expectations also kills them...Lack of Respect and Trust does too.

So, I think you already lost her.
She needs constant 24 hour round the clock attention: and since you are gone: she needs it..
You need to see her in person and have her tell you the truth.

**geolink** · 14-02-11, 02:37 PM

ok so i know i have accepted the fact that we wont talk for a while and that she needs space

but she is my only friend that i completely trust with anything and everything.

The thing is that i am still in the army and today my father went into surgery real life and death situation and he is not well at all
his double bypass went ok but the doctors dont like their chances.

I need someone to talk to. She is the one.
I dont want to burst any bubbles but asking for her advice and consolation will help this misery.

WHAT SHOULD I DO.

Im in such pain.

**LOVE_CONFUSED** · 14-02-11, 07:00 PM

Any family situation like above is heart breaking but talk to your family, thats what they are there for.
Seriously - if you take everything to her all the time your completely ignoring what shes asked and your being way too clingly.

Keep calm, be mature and take it like an adult.

You gotta be cruel to be kind.

**smackie9** · 14-02-11, 10:09 PM

So sorry for your struggles you are having but there are times in your adult life you have to deal with these issues on your own. You DO have family, and they are the ones that YOU should be relying on for support because they need your support too. I feel this is a reason why she has turned away from you is you are too dependant on her and she wants you to learn to stand on your own two feet for once.

**geolink** · 15-02-11, 01:22 AM

ok will do.

ill just wait for her call.
I am determined to do anything and everything in order for her to feel better more in touch with herself.
She is the one i love and i am optimistic that its all for the best.

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