On average, does this happen a lot?

[xxazurexx]

yeah its been a little over a week. but the fight was pretty bad. wasnt the first time either. i wont get into details right here but lets just say it was BAD.

Well it's not like she told you she needed space, that she didn't love anymore, or that she'd met someone else.

If any of the above are applicable, it's a lot bleaker than just a fight.

Mind you, lots of couples who argue and fight a lot and who don't resolve issues will eventually and over time split too. There reaches a point where one party has just had enough and leaves.

[ktm390]

Well it's not like she told you she needed space, that she didn't love anymore, or that she'd met someone else.

If any of the above are applicable, it's a lot bleaker than just a fight.

Mind you, lots of couples who argue and fight a lot and who don't resolve issues will eventually and over time split too. There reaches a point where one party has just had enough and leaves.

yeah none of those things were said. we were in love, got in a huge fight, it got a little physical. then she waited for me to go to bed and took off. didnt hear from her for three days. then she comes to get some stuff and is tellin me she loves me still, huggin on me, cryin. then said if she came back now she would never get any support from her family again. said she was gonna call the next day, never did and still havent heard from her. no idea where she is or who she is with. sucks!!!

[Darkest Heaven]

My ex said we'd work it out, 40 minutes later said we couldn't all because she talked to her mom.

When your ex/girl/whatever decides something for herself, you'll know. If she never tells you, assume the worst and move on. I tortured myself for a month at one point waiting for a call while she was out "enjoying herself with friends"... don't do it. It's worth it for somebody who's in love with you. But she can't even call to say she changed her mind, or confirm that she hasn't? Load of crap IMO.

[xxazurexx]

Darkest Heaven, you said you dumped her - so why should she call you?

[Darkest Heaven]

Because she "attempted" to dump me every other hour of our 1 year relationship then apologized for the "freak outs". That morning, she told me she doesn't respect me, and my love isn't enough for her.

It would be a good feeling to know that she's sorry and wants me. But that's immature of me to say, and I need to find happiness in myself, which I have. But still, even with all of the wrong, I love her to death. And no matter how much shit she put me through, it sucks knowing that the feeling isn't mutual.

So many times I chased her during her "freak outs", but does she chase me? Nope. Just... sucks, that's all.

[xxazurexx]

he told me she doesn't respect me, and my love isn't enough for her.

Yeah I guess something said like that would have been enough for me to dump too and I wouldn't call. I think it's down to her in that case, to make her way back to you.

Still....a lot can be said in the 'heat of the moment' and things we really don't mean.

Pride can often stand in the way of us making that first move back, even when we know we are in the wrong.

If you have always chased her, she is likely awaiting you going back. How long have you been split up?

[Darkest Heaven]

Since Thursday. I know she's waiting for me, probably to tell me no because of pride issues.

She's immature. She did really good for me, got me to focus on jobs, school, just overall being a better person. I grew up while she stayed the same. I'm not going to initiate contact. When we were at the 3 month mark, we broke up for 3 weeks, and even then I had to contact her. I'm tired of being ping ponged.

She's probably out with her friends enjoying her weed... something she quit doing because she understood my point that she'll never pass a drug test. So let her be immature. I'm probably the furthest thing from her mind right now, which bothers me to the extent of "how can another human do this after all we've been through".

[Darkest Heaven]

Well, I gave in and called her. Told her I didn't want a "**** you" as our last goodbye. She blew me off to answer a phone call, so I finished my thoughts on Yahoo IM. Basically, I said I hope her life is as good without me as she said it would be, and she said its off to a good start.

After that I said to call me if she ever gets her idiotic thoughts (she cant have friends and me at the same time, constantly saying she doesn't want to be with me then going back on it) out of her head. I know that call won't come, but I told her only to talk me for that talk, and not to contact me for any other reason, as I don't want to be hurt by her anymore.

So, there ya have it folks. 1 year of two people trying for one another, only for one to decide that living without the other is much better because of reasons she doesn't know.

**** her. Somebody will appreciate my love for more than a year one day. I believe that more than I believe that she's a bitch. And that's a pretty big belief right now.

[ktm390]

Well, I gave in and called her. Told her I didn't want a "**** you" as our last goodbye. She blew me off to answer a phone call, so I finished my thoughts on Yahoo IM. Basically, I said I hope her life is as good without me as she said it would be, and she said its off to a good start.

After that I said to call me if she ever gets her idiotic thoughts (she cant have friends and me at the same time, constantly saying she doesn't want to be with me then going back on it) out of her head. I know that call won't come, but I told her only to talk me for that talk, and not to contact me for any other reason, as I don't want to be hurt by her anymore.

So, there ya have it folks. 1 year of two people trying for one another, only for one to decide that living without the other is much better because of reasons she doesn't know.

**** her. Somebody will appreciate my love for more than a year one day. I believe that more than I believe that she's a bitch. And that's a pretty big belief right now.

damn i'm sorry man. i'm sorry it had to end like that. that sucks!! i dont know what to say

[Darkest Heaven]

I've had a fever of 100.5 all day today. Missing her didn't help. Well, at least I won the battle of pride versus the right thing to do when I called her. Yeah, she hurt me again, but I didn't expect any different.

While I'm well aware that a phone call is possible someday, I'm not going to give up on looking for my one true love, simply because I know she, whoever she is, isn't giving up right now, either.

[Darkest Heaven]

Don't take what she said seriously, it was heat moments, you probably had things that you regretted talking, don't you?

She might have big pride, and know what? I'm going to think guys are harsh, women can ping pong but never leave you hurt for days while men can leave us all at once, and we sit there wondering, he loved me that much, was it? Lol.

Not all women are alike, neither are men. It wasn't in the heat of the moment. She's probably talking to a new guy. I hope he uses her as she's been used in the past. I'm not going to accept that our love just died, as one of the only things she ever said on a consistent basis was that it hasn't. I hope she goes through as much as she put me through. Yeah that's mean and bitter, but hey, I'm mean and bitter, I guess.

In reality though, I don't care what happens to her. She broke me a billion times over. Her life is no longer my concern. People do the "well wishes" out of the kindness of their heart, well my version was telling her good ****ing luck and I'm happy that your life is off to a good start without me.

[xxazurexx]

I wouldn't feel bad for calling, we've all done it at one time. You only split last week and it's still early days, feelings are still bound to be hurt.

If you were looking to get back with her, then why the heck did you make it seem like a goodbye phone call?

In saying you wanted to say goodbye properly, it sends off an impression that you don't care and you aren't interested in getting back with her and this is why she blew you off to talk to someone else and why she said her life is off to a good start with you. She has given an impression she doesn't care and probably because she you are giving the impression you don't care.

I think you used the 'goodbye' thing and as an excuse to call. You thought of a reason to call, that yeah, would open up the lines of communication but at same time would save face and keep your pride intact and because you were unsure of what her reaction would be. If you were going to open up the lines of communication again, then you should have said, 'Hi, was thinking about you, how are you'...or something similar. It sounds as though you approached it all wrongly and without thinking.

[Darkest Heaven]

The thing of it is though is I don't want her back. I honestly just wanted things to be better than what they were as far as our goodbye went. She blew me off and I had to finish my thought on Yahoo IM. I'm showing her my life is okay without her? Well, as much as it sucks without her, it is okay.

I've got many good things going for me with potential jobs, school, etc etc. I told her to call me if she ever decides to talk about "us", and for no other reason, and I'm sticking with that. She has a lot of growing up to do and a lot of time needs to pass for her to understand that it's better to be in a secure and happy relationship, than to be a play toy for people like she said she is okay with doing because they are "friends". With benefits? Anyways.

I have no doubt in my mind that we are through until she tells me otherwise. And while I care and love her to death, I'm not going to sit here and continue trying for somebody who doesn't try back, or apologizing for things I didn't do. I'm tired of her "unintentional" games. I can get better. I want better. And if she ever becomes that better and calls me, I'll expect more than pretty words as proof.