Girlfriend visiting an ex boyfriend

[Sleed]

Yeah Vincenzo , you kinda nailed it . A lot of bad signs that point to something she might do but not to something she will surely do , she needs to make up her mind.

[VincenzoG91]

For what it's worth, I am the ex in a sort of similar situation. My ex-girlfriend left me for another guy, and after she moved in with him, learned that he is an abusive control freak. Now she wants to leave him for me, and calls me several times a week, even meets with me in person from time to time. She is trying to maintain an emotional connection with me until she is ready to leave him. I don't like the situation at all and am backing away from it. If she wants to leave him for me, then she should just leave. But she keeps procrastinating and making excuses, and nothing changes. After she is done with her exams in three weeks, I'm going to cut off contact. But I'm waiting until after her exams so she has a chance to do well on them.

Okay, it's not that similar to your situation, but I just wanted to alert you that there could already be emotional cheating going on, and women tend to consider emotional cheating to be more serious than physical cheating like sex.

[girl68]

Well then i just have to let her go visit him and see what will happen , it will reveal her character and it will help me make some decisions. I think people cheat emotionally all the time btw. But in this case she didnt cheat on me emotionally , she never got over him , so she was still loving him when she was dating me , it was bagage, its bagage cheating i think.

What you call "baggage" I call cheating. Whatever gets you to sleep at night.

[Sleed]

Yeah im sure there is emotional cheating. But i cant do something about it because she loved him when she started dating me.That love for him was always there and i didnt know. She still cares for him now even , i cant enter her mind and rip out her feelings for him. I only hope to replace him with me . But i need to act right for that to happen.

Its diffrent in your case because you guys are in the same town probably. I dont think they would have broken up if they were still in the same town. She cant let him go. Its fine , it means she will have trouble leting go of me also. That makes winning her back easier. But it seems , he, the ex doesnt want her ; but i do want her.

[VincenzoG91]

If he doesn't want her, what does he expect from this visit? If an ex-girlfriend wanted to visit me and I wasn't interested in her anymore, I would tell her that I didn't want to see her.

[Sleed]

I think he doesnt want her in a sexual or relationship kind of way, but i think he feels good that he still means something for her . Its an ego boost, also they can talk about stuff they both know , people , places , events. I never got the feeling that he wants to get her in bed , but i get the feeling she might want him in her bed , which is bad . If he wants sex and i dont exist then they might do it, but him not wanting it and me beeing around makes it very improbable to happen , or who knows......