Am i a Jerk?

[surfhb]

Absolutely! It's rule #1

[surfhb]

OMG you guys just get over it. The ex is not property to anyone, they can f uck anyone they want. Whoever has sex with an ex is nobodys business! They are not dating anymore so the girl is free game to anyone, best friend or not.

Of course she is but how would you feel to see your best friend dating your ex 3 months after you broke up?

[smackie9]

I guess guys are more sensitive in that area.... as a female, my gfs sleep with my exes and I couldn't give a rats ass if they did.

[surfhb]

I guess guys are more sensitive in that area.... as a female, my gfs sleep with my exes and I couldn't give a rats ass if they did.

Really!? I'm shocked! We need more women to chime in on this.

[Riku]

Really!? I'm shocked! We need more women to chime in on this.

I don't know any girl that would feel that way. I agree with a previous post, it lacks class. But again I don't think this was the OP's friend so I don't know why he cares, he needs to grow a pair IMO.

[MaidenMinx]

I think the sleeping whether or not sleeping with a friends ex is a problem is a completely personal thing.

My best friend for example found out that I'd had a one night stand with a guy she had previously had a casual fling with and was quite irrate. I still don't quite get why but for her friends shouldn't touch any of her exes, regardless of how little she felt for them. I was a bit peeved that she was annoyed since I was friends with the guy before her, but I respect the fact that for her this is a no go area.

For me, if when I have found out in the past that a friend has hooked up with an ex I've had an initial feeling of irritation mixed with a very childish urge to say 'hey! that's mine!'. Then I acknowledge my feelings for what they are, irrational possessiveness bought on by an irrational feeling that none of my exes should be happy with any one but me, let them go and get on with things. I have never had a lasting issue with a friend sleeping with an ex, where as my best friend has destroyed friendships over it.

To the OP, no you are not a jerk. No you don't need to tell him. I am curious though, did you talk to the girl again?

[surfhb]

Yeah I was talking more about significant relationships than casual flings. Also there might be exceptions if you were friends first. But if I had a long term relationship and one day one of my good pals shows up with her on his arm, that uncalled for.

I had a relationship with a girl for several years. We broke up and a week later a co worker asked if it be ok to call her. I managed to tell the entire office and the guy was hounded so hard he quit

[MaidenMinx]

I've personally only had one other LTR (other than the one I'm in) and if a friend showed up with him, I'd take her for a psychological examination!! :p

That was low of your co-worker. No call for that. Glad he quit.

Though I do think this is something that will affect the individual differently. My ex (LTR) was a friend of my current. When my current and I got together we did so knowing that it was likely to destroy the friendship between them. This wasn't a difficult decision for me since my ex had had a problem with literally every guy I had even spoken to after him and I broke up ( I had naively believed at the time that ex's could stay friends). My man had a harder time dealing with it. He still can not understand why my ex had such a problem with us. So yeah, I think the should you date a friends ex question is one everyone will answer differently.

[VincenzoG91]

Of course she is but how would you feel to see your best friend dating your ex 3 months after you broke up?

You're reading too much into the OP's story. He said the guy was a classmate, not a close friend.

[jazzoz]

Hi again! The guy is not a close friend of mine and we don't hang out but we talk ocasionally together and they were together for 9 months... The girl who i've slept with is an old friend of mine.. we were just drunk one evening and we don't plan on seeing each other as anything else than friends - hope that clears things out

[smackie9]

Just remember folks it takes two to tango....why not be pissed at the ex for getting involved with one of your friends huh? It's a two way street. It just goes to show you your ex is a jackass and it's a good thing they are out of your life.

I always thought any of my gfs were nuts for sleeping an ex lol....oh well have at er I always say cuse it don't matter to me anymore.

[devonbrown]

Given that the OP is not good friends with the ex, this discussion falls into the "Nothing to see here... move along..." category.