I'm 28.....and I virgin.....HELP!

[Boisdevie]

At 28, I am now at the stage in my life where I want nothing more than to meet Mr. Right, get married, and raise a family.

Good luck but remember that chances are that the first guy you sleep with won't be Mister Right.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Ok, I have only been in 1 6 month relationship before and the guy was ALSO a virgin. He and I BOTH agreed that we wanted to wait. Sex was never an obstacle for us, no did it have anything to do with why we broke up.

He told you he was willing to wait, and he did wait..for 6 months. Any guy in his twenties, that is still a virgin, is dying to sleep with someone inside, whether they'll outwardly admit it or not. Why do you think you two broke up?

1.) I was very committed to my studies (high school and college) and now my career. I was also a huge high school and college athlete and school and sports were ALWAYS my top priority. That maybe very selfish, but I just didn't care about a relationship. I wanted to be single and free and do what was important to me.

You're not selfish, but it's certainly a terrible excuse that doesn't hold an ounce of water. Not caring about a relationship is one thing, but trying to fool yourself into thinking that you're not free to do what's important to you because of a relationship is delusional and a poor excuse for not trying.

2.) We just weren't compatible and broke up.

Yeah and not wanting to have sex was a huge part of that incompatibility, whether they were willing to tell you that straight up, or not. It strains a relationship, makes a guy feel unwanted, and will manifest itself in other ways.

3.) Unfortunately, some of the guys I have dated (not more than 1 month) have dumped me as soon as they found out I was a virgin. They acted like I had a disease or something!

Yeah. They see how old you are, and realize that you're probably not looking to have sex until you're married, and they probably also think you hold out for sex in a relationship for power. It's possible that they were just jerks, but it's more likely that they would rather find a girl that's just as smart, nice, funny, cool, and athletic...and is confident and comfortable enough to have sex in a reasonable amount of time. Like I said before, being a virgin isn't the real issue. What matters is if you are willing to have sex with this guy or if you're "holding out" for something. Most guys will see it as holding out..and most of the time, they're right.


Bottom line is that this guy is not likely going to wait forever,or even 6 months(and he shouldn't), so you need to decide if you want to repeat your pattern or if you want to do something to change it?

[jb1111983]

I need advice.....

Last month, I started dating a wonderful guy. I really feel a connection with him and can see us sharing a long term relationship. At this point, the furthest we have gone is a heavy make-out session (with touching on top of clothes). He definitely is ready to take it further, but I have said it is just too soon in our relationship and he seems ok with that.

HOWEVER.............

What I haven't told him yet is that I am still a virgin!!! At 28, my longest relationship has only been 6 months and I have never gone beyond heavy make-out sessions........no hand-jobs, no oral, no anything!

I guess I am freaking out because 1) At 28, he obviously would NEVER guess that I am still a virgin 2) I am so inexperienced, I am basically a freak

What should I do? Do I just sit him down tomorrow and tell him? Do I wait until we are a little further along in the relationship?

Will he dump me when he finds out?

HELP!

ok I haven't read the other posts and don't know if I'm late.

This girl I like is 28 and a virgin. She's kind of religious. I respect her a lot. I'm just happy that she's not looking for a virgin because I'm not.

It's alright to tell him about you not being a virgin. I think you're just worried over nothing. It shouldn't be a problem for him if he likes you.
If he dumps you for being a virgin at 28, clearly he's not a 'wonderful' man. You shouldn't go with a man who wouldn't respect you for the person you are.

[surfhb]

ok I haven't read the other posts and don't know if I'm late.

This girl I like is 28 and a virgin. She's kind of religious. I respect her a lot. I'm just happy that she's not looking for a virgin because I'm not.

It's alright to tell him about you not being a virgin. I think you're just worried over nothing. It shouldn't be a problem for him if he likes you.
If he dumps you for being a virgin at 28, clearly he's not a 'wonderful' man. You shouldn't go with a man who wouldn't respect you for the person you are.

Depends on the guy. The red flags and warning signals would be blaring in my face if I started dating a girl that age and she said she was a virgin. School or not, career or not, sports or not, who doesnt feel the need for love or a relationship? To me, its just bizzare and shows possible emotional issues. Im not saying the OP is crazy its just a little off. Dont be surprised if the reaction you get is not positive....thats all.

The religious issue is another thing. But I would never date anyone who loved a miracle preforming carpenter, born 2000 years ago, more than me

[jb1111983]

Depends on the guy. The red flags and warning signals would be blaring in my face if I started dating a girl that age and she said she was a virgin. School or not, career or not, sports or not, who doesnt feel the need for love or a relationship? To me, its just bizzare and shows possible emotional issues. Im not saying the OP is crazy its just a little off. Dont be surprised if the reaction you get is not positive....thats all.

The religious issue is another thing. But I would never date anyone who loved a miracle preforming carpenter, born 2000 years ago, more than me

the guy's got to accept her the way she is if things are getting serious. Lying about it isn't a great start to a healthy relationship. If the guy can't accept her for who she is, he isn't that wonderful. He just isn't the right guy for her.

[MrManups]

I would date you if i knew you, a virgin whos 28? LET HIM KNOW! He will be over the moon! the main thing which goes through a mans head is "will i be better than her last" he will know hes got nobody to compete with!

[Bapify2]

I don't know about you guys, but I would not wait 6 months to sleep with a girl. Ever.