Will he ever forgive me?

[zerokool189]

You aren't self centered, i don't think you did anything to show that. If I were the guy involved I would've been more upfront and not done anything unless I was sure of what I wanted. He may be the self centered one here. He had you to fool around with and no commitment to you while he thought about what he wanted. How could you respect that? I have been on the same side you are on in situations like this. It's not fun, why put yourself through this torture. I went on several other dates to get over the girl. I recommend you do the same. I did hang out with the girl after some time and I did not feel the same way about her, but now we are friends and can talk. You need to put yourself first and protect your emotions.

[Wakeup]

You need to put yourself first and protect your emotions.

I totally agree with that and she needs to make sure of how a guy feels about her before she lets him do sexual acts on her or she on him. (which was my point all along). OP failed to protect her emotions and gave them and herself physically before she knew how he felt about her.

She either has to make sure of where a guys head is at before clouding the issue with sex or not be so upset when they don't reciprocate her feelings.

[ConniptionFit]

Thank you. The only one you got oral sex out of it was me. He did not wait until I gave him a blowjob and then stop talking to me. I was just trying to give background information. All I wanted to know was I did not respect his wishes right away to stop talking to him. He felt like there was drama going on between us and he backed off because of his past. How can I show him I am not that self-centred and that I do respect him? I do not want to trick him...it's just he is really messed up now.

One of the best decisions a person can make in his or her life is to stay away from messed up people.

Of course, if you can't do that, or think you are "supposed to help them", then you are probably just as messed up.

[pepper]

One of the best decisions a person can make in his or her life is to stay away from messed up people.

Of course, if you can't do that, or think you are "supposed to help them", then you are probably just as messed up.

I do not think it is my responsibilty to help him. I just know he was going through a rough time. I just wanted to know what I could do to make the situation between him and I better. I have no control over the mess he had with his ex...but I do have control over the mess him and I had.

[pepper]

You aren't self centered, i don't think you did anything to show that. If I were the guy involved I would've been more upfront and not done anything unless I was sure of what I wanted. He may be the self centered one here. He had you to fool around with and no commitment to you while he thought about what he wanted. How could you respect that? I have been on the same side you are on in situations like this. It's not fun, why put yourself through this torture. I went on several other dates to get over the girl. I recommend you do the same. I did hang out with the girl after some time and I did not feel the same way about her, but now we are friends and can talk. You need to put yourself first and protect your emotions.

So what you're saying is that there could still be hope of us becoming friends later on? We have known each other for years and live on 10 mins away from each other. I just want to be civilized towards each other. So what do I need to do in order to make sure we could be friends one day? I do not think it is wrong to care about him...I know now that I was fool to think I had feelings for him. It was a messed up situation and I let it get the best of me.

[zerokool189]

you like to put yourself down, don't you? you aren't a fool. you can't control how you feel about things. life is about taking risks. how would you feel if you never let him know how you felt? You need to get over him in order to become friends. with a past as long as yours, it'll be easy to get over this. You just need to be patient now.

[pepper]

you like to put yourself down, don't you? you aren't a fool. you can't control how you feel about things. life is about taking risks. how would you feel if you never let him know how you felt? You need to get over him in order to become friends. with a past as long as yours, it'll be easy to get over this. You just need to be patient now.

Thanks. Well we went to the same middle school and high school but he never really started paying attention to me until 4 years ago (we're 24 now). He is really messed up about his ex. He claims he never loved her and now all of a sudden he is going out and partying all of the time. Even a few months ago he said he didn't drink but now he is drunk at least once a week. He seems to have changed. Maybe we both just need to be away from each other for now. I need to be happy with who I am now. I was until I got wrapped up in all of his drama...I don't hate him. I just don't want to be scared if I run into him a public place haha Thank you for all of your help though! You have been great!

[zerokool189]

ha, crazy. I am 26 and sort of going through the same deal. I just got out of a big relationship and I'm doing some different things... I know that I don't really know what I want in life, so I'm not starting anything with any girl just yet. That incident I was referring to happened recently and I am still friends with the girl. We took about a month off and now things are cool. Us guys can be as complicated as women some time

[pepper]

Yeah I guess things like that happen all of the time. I should have respected his wishes when he said he did not want to talk anymore. He felt like there was drama in his life with me in it. He said under different circumstances he thought we could have been friends, it was just he needed time away from me. I am thinking about in a couple of months just sending him an email to make peace...see where things go from there. I am over the pain he caused me...but I just feel like it would be a lot less stressful for both of us if we could be civilized towards each other.

[LouisP]

He's probably hurt. Men don't protect anything more than they do their pride, so when their ego takes a hit, it takes a while for them to forgive OR forget. Give him time!

[pepper]

What do you mean he is hurt? He is the one who said he doesn't like me.