Quit the team?

[Cerby]

Ugh, I'm still on the fence with this. Our first team practice will be next Sunday, she will be there, and I will feel like I should talk to her.

I have no problem leaving the tournament, but I feel I might be letting myself down in the process. Also, it will be a break in NC, and might flood my emotions back, especially if she starts flirting with someone else on the team.

I hate this mixed bag of thought.

[DarkHelmet82]

Dont do it man... i reopened the flood gates last week and got into a deep depression.. you seem to have better control of your emotions than me but I would advise against it.

[Cerby]

I'm tempted to break NC before then and see if we can at least get some closure on our open-ended breakup, but I don't know how breaking contact will go, I'm not sure if I would call, email, or write a letter. It would need to happen before the practice on Sunday for sure. I'm just not over it enough to just "show up" and act normally.

It will be at 3 weeks by then.

[DarkHelmet82]

Cerby.. i cant reiterate this enough buddy and I hope you listen. Closure does not exist. Do you think you will get any answers you are expecting to get? You will just have more questions to the answers of her questions.. its a neverending cycle. The only closure you will get is the closure of you closing the door on the relationship.

You wont feel any better by contacting her.. in fact you will more then likely feel worse. I know you want to do it.. and believe me that I am there as well.. All i want to do is find out hows shes doing, and just see her.. but IT IS OVER! The ball is no longer in my court.. she has it and the decision at this point is on her.. it sucks big donkey dick but it is what it is unfortunetly.

[Cerby]

You're right, I'm going to pull off the team, and not write the letter, it will just solve any problem I might have.

[DarkHelmet82]

I wrote a letter and all I got in return was "i still like you but am not ready." It put me back in a limbo state... did i do it to myself? sure i did.. but any answers you are expecting to get you most likely wont.

IF you can honestly write the letter and just let it go from there go for it.. but i have a hunch you are expecting a response, and not just any resposne.

[Cerby]

Nope, I can't, instead of having to rush my feeling, I am now officially off the team (pulled my registration 5 minutes ago), and have also decided against the letter.

I just need time away from her, not seeing her, and not being near her.

[DarkHelmet82]

good.. i think you made the right decision... you would give me the same advice.