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Thread: Friend that i have really strong feelings for!

  1. #16
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    What Wakeup said. Yes, it isn't easy, yes it's a difficult situation, but there really ARE only two options. Either you talk to him, or you get over him by getting away from him and everything that reminds you of him, e.g. telling friends you do not want to hear about this guy ever. This is not a matter of giving you sh*tty advice or anything like that - it's just that these are the only options, apart from everything remaining the same, which is not really an option at all.

  2. #17
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    IndiReloaded is offline Yawning
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wakeup View Post
    Google "Limerence" I think you are suffereing from stage 3 limerence. Wiki has a good explanation on what it all means and maybe if you understand it you'll be able to work past it.
    I think this kind of problem existed well before some self-justifying psych grad decided to make a label for it. "Stage 3 limerance"?? LOL, labels don't solve problems, they overcomplicate what is a simple and timeless problem. "Fear" (and the hormones that go with it) is the biological driver for all this kind of behaviour. The OP is afraid to deal with her feelings and move forward.

    OP, you just need to suck it up and ask him about his feelings and tell him about yours. You keep saying you are good friends. If this is true, then asking him directly shouldn't be a problem, whatever the result. You won't die from asking, so just get it done already.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  3. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by briar_Rose View Post
    I have tried to get over him so many times. I've known him for 6 years, liked him for about 3. You have no idea how many times i've told myself to stop it.
    Exactly. So stop 'trying'. Stop telling yourself to stop. Talk to him and get it done. If you keep on the same path, you'll get where you are going, which is nowhere.
    Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.
    --Cyteen by C.J.Cherryh

  4. #19
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    It seems to me that you both have issues communicating with each other.

    It seems clear from his behavior that he is attracted to you, but does nothing about it. Additionally, you keep making sarcastic replies to his weak attempts to gauge your interest... you're telling him that you're not interested when you are. Stop that.

    Wakeup's suggestion was an excellent one.

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