The good ones screw you, the bad ones screw you...

[Vanessa]

And FFS one of my male friends has been inviting me over to his place for the past hour and hinting at us having sex and I can't think of a more user friendly way of saying 'your cock is not entering my vagina, tonight or ever' because he seems to not understand subtlety.

[Vanessa]

^ Uni is only around the corner, I'm sure you will get yo fill of men then.

Don't even make me go there. Too complicated and I don't wanna think about it yet.

[Jenswaiting]

You know I always thought that when people say they're not ready to be in a relationship it's just a made up thing to blow someone off, but I kinda feel like it for the first time in my life, I mean if I were to start a relationship right now or even after I move past this 'all men are bastards' stage, I'd know there is a chance I'd end up hurt and at the moment I'm not willing to take that chance. I believe I can deal with anything as long as I know precisely what I'm dealing with, but now I don't even wanna contemplate going through a break up. So I should just stop thinking about men overall and just move on with my life.

There is nothing wrong with being at this stage in your life. It's a good thing to take care of yourself and focus on your needs right now. Dating and relationships take some effort and that effort should be spent on yourself. I'm right there atm too. Though I think I'm past the 'all men are bastards stage'.

Take care of you.

[rafterman]

Yeah whatever it is I just wish he woulda admitted that. Uhm. There are. I know a few. Some of my friends are psycho bitches when it comes to men but are ok as a female friends, and some actually are great gals overall.
And you still haven't told me why is it that you think I'm a fall gal.
You know I always thought that when people say they're not ready to be in a relationship it's just a made up thing to blow someone off, but I kinda feel like it for the first time in my life, I mean if I were to start a relationship right now or even after I move past this 'all men are bastards' stage, I'd know there is a chance I'd end up hurt and at the moment I'm not willing to take that chance. I believe I can deal with anything as long as I know precisely what I'm dealing with, but now I don't even wanna contemplate going through a break up.
So I should just stop thinking about men overall and just move on with my life.

A fall guy is someone that takes the hits all the time e.g friends relationship's, home life etc.....No one can predict the outcome of a relationship. Thats the risk everyone takes.Dont give up....I have"nt...Its been six months since my break up, and I've had time to sort myself, Don't rush it. People think that if there not in relationship, theres something wrong with them.Not true.

[rafterman]

And FFS one of my male friends has been inviting me over to his place for the past hour and hinting at us having sex and I can't think of a more user friendly way of saying 'your cock is not entering my vagina, tonight or ever' because he seems to not understand subtlety.

Just tell him he wont be parking his Porsche in your garage anytime soon......He'll get that

[maxmax]

What it comes down to is that people will let you down.

And yes, men are bastards.

I haven't seen or heard from my dad in 16 years. It's shocking when I remind myself of how long it's been. The day I made it clear to him I wanted to stay with my mum, he decided he didn't have a son. And despite being quite a wealthy man tried his best to then leave us with as little as possible. To add, he was never even a good father in the first place.

Having spent three months last year in hospital, at times critical and virtually on my deathbed, one of my longest and supposed best friends, decided that as a result of a fallout between us I didn't deserve a visit, a get well message, nothing, and even until this day hasn't been in touch, despite having known my situation.

Even my dad was informed, and yet made no efforts to get in touch

So, people can be mean, spiteful, truly selfish and hurtful.

Such is life.

When I compare what hurtful things girls have done to me to such things, it pales in comparison, so I try to keep things in perspective otherwise I would truly become depressed and disillusioned with people.

Despite the above I always try and treat everyone with respect, kindness and dignity as I don't think I'd like the person I'd become if I started sacrificing those qualities just to be on par with what seems to be the growing majority.

Time for bed.

[Vanessa]

I'm a very proud person and I don't take crap from anyone so I don't know why you'd think I'm the one who always gets the hits. Well except for my last relationship but that's a different story.

I know, other blows you get in life are way worse than a failed relationship. I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that *hugs*. The issue of me living with my father has actually never even been raised. I tried having a relationship with him a long time ago but he always brought me more harm than good, has always been a jerk and though he's also pretty wealthy he'd rather spend his money on his wife and her son which is not even his own kid.

As for my friend and her boyfriend, the reason reason he broke up with her is his best friend's 15 year old baby sister. He's 20 something. I'm still in shock.

I just found out that my mum needs to be hospitalized so right now I don't care about anything else than that.

[rafterman]

Yeah dont worry about the Fall guy thing, it went straight over your head. Hope your mum gets better though

The end...
_____________

[Vanessa]

I'm not worrying. And thanks, she's in intensive care now, she should be fine, I don't even want to consider her not getting better because I'll lose my mind.

[Jenswaiting]

What it comes down to is that people will let you down. I haven't seen or heard from my dad in 16 years. It's shocking when I remind myself of how long it's been. The day I made it clear to him I wanted to stay with my mum, he decided he didn't have a son. And despite being quite a wealthy man tried his best to then leave us with as little as possible. To add, he was never even a good father in the first place. Having spent three months last year in hospital, at times critical and virtually on my deathbed, one of my longest and supposed best friends, decided that as a result of a fallout between us I didn't deserve a visit, a get well message, nothing, and even until this day hasn't been in touch, despite having known my situation. So, people can be mean, spiteful, truly selfish and hurtful. Such is life.

Sorry you went through this. Illness and death can bring out the ugly in people really fast. After my partner died I was stunned by how cruel his family were to me. They had welcomed me in when he was alive, but afterwards, not only did they not keep his wishes, but they completely cut me out of their lives. This had a knock on effect with our mutual friends. Only one couple that we knew I would still consider friends. It was a rather isolating experience.

So yes people can be selfish and mean. I learned a lot from this ordeal, generally to not take it personally and that everyone has their own baggage. I'm responsible with how I live my life and how I treat people.

[Jenswaiting]

I'm not worrying. And thanks, she's in intensive care now, she should be fine, I don't even want to consider her not getting better because I'll lose my mind.

I hope she gets better. Are you able to visit her?

[Vanessa]

Yeah, we're going again tomorrow, but we're only allowed 5 minutes per visitor. I wish one of us coulda stayed the night, though even if we were allowed she said she'd only stay if we left her by herself. Not that staying was an option in her condition, but she's a stubborn woman.

I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that. I can't even imagine what it's like. It is human nature to be selfish, but I think that's more part of the animal instinct, and being human means overcoming it.

[maxmax]

Best wishes to your mum. Hope she recovers soon.