he wants to kill himself

[vashti]

I don't care about being the one to help him I just don't want him to kill himself ok. I feel bad enough about this without you trying to make me feel like I'm selfish or stuff, please leave me alone if you don't have anything useful to say.

Don't be a foolish little girl. This is not about trying to make you feel selfish. I am trying to help you save YOURSELF. You WON'T be saving him... he is mentally ill, and you aren't Superman.

[searock]

He is already getting professional help! If his psychiatrist hasn't suggested psychology to him in 3 years, then who am I to go tell his parents "hey, you should send him to a psychologist!". I know there is nothing I can do, apart from listening if he feels like talking, I KNOW that I will not in the end be able to do anything at all, if he wants to do it, he'll do it. Nonetheless, I think I will try to contact his parent's house, if he doesn't reply. I know that "I am not his keeper", but I am his friend, and I'll do anything I can to make him feel better. If I there is nothing I can do, doesn't mean that I won't try.

[searock]

Tell his parents what he said now. Why would you wait any longer?

I don't have the phone number of his parents' house, just the one of his father's shop and right now it's closed.

[vashti]

He is already getting professional help! If his psychiatrist hasn't suggested psychology to him in 3 years, then who am I to go tell his parents "hey, you should send him to a psychologist!". I know there is nothing I can do, apart from listening if he feels like talking, I KNOW that I will not in the end be able to do anything at all, if he wants to do it, he'll do it. Nonetheless, I think I will try to contact his parent's house, if he doesn't reply. I know that "I am not his keeper", but I am his friend, and I'll do anything I can to make him feel better. If I there is nothing I can do, doesn't mean that I won't try.

Honey, a psychiatrist IS a psychologist who is also a doctor. Psychiatrists outrank regular psychologists. You see a psychiatrist when you are too sick for a psychologist.

[devonbrown]

If his psychiatrist hasn't suggested psychology to him in 3 years, then who am I to go tell his parents "hey, you should send him to a psychologist!".

Just one last thing - psychiatrists like to treat through medication. Most do not bother to try to talk and psychoanalyze. Psychologists do that. That is why a lot of people see a psychologist and then go to a psychiatrist for any medications. And it wouldn't be YOU telling his parents you think he should go to a psychologist. It is you giving his parents the information that was given to you by a trained professional.

Okay, one more last thing - why wait to see if he responds to your email? If he is serious about killing himself, you know how much time he needs to do it? Just long enough to pull a trigger.

[searock]

vashti, I know that. He is NOT getting psychotherapy right now, he only goes to his psychiatrist once a month and they only talk with his parents in the room, and he won't talk about the real deep stuff. It is NOT psychotherapy I mean it is of course, but it's not as good and useful as it should be, it's mostly "just" prescripting medications.

devonbrown, that's why I think he should also go to a psychologist and not only a psychiatrist. I agree with what you said.

I am not calling now because I don't have the number. I don't know how to contact that house. I would call straight away even if only to get to talk to him.

[Wakeup]

I don't have the phone number of his parents' house, just the one of his father's shop and right now it's closed.

JHC... Have you tried to look it up on the net. Reverse Lookup.. throw in his address and see what comes up?

then who am I to go tell his parents "hey, you should send him to a psychologist!".

Who said anything about you telling them what they should do? What I suggested is that you tell his parents what he said to you about killing himself and then suggest that maybe that is something they should let his shrink know he's been thinking. O.o

If his psychatrist thinks he needs to be committed for his own safety then it's up to HIM to determine. Not you, not his parents, not us strangers on a freaking message board...

[vashti]

How did he "try" to kill himself before? Believe it or not, the medical profession actually ranks the risk according to how lethal a person's plans are.

[vashti]

Just one last thing - psychiatrists like to treat through medication. Most do not bother to try to talk and psychoanalyze. Psychologists do that. That is why a lot of people see a psychologist and then go to a psychiatrist for any medications.

Psychologists refer people to psychiatrists when they feel they need medication in addition to talk therapy. I don't know about how things work where you live, but all the patients I know who are seeing psychiatrists have regular sessions with them. Granted, I am generally exposed to people who are coming out of psych wards. Or headed into one.

[searock]

Wakeup, are you kidding me. Of COURSE I've looked up the number.

I know that medications can be worse. He did use antidepressants overdose one time. Which is just one more reason why he should get psychotherapy as well.
His parents and his psychiatrist know what he thinks about suicide. He doesn't talk with them as much as he talks to me, but he does talk with them and they know the most important things. To me he mostly vents and tries to "get it off his chest". That is what he needs (he ALSO needs medicines, but they are not enough) and since I'm no professional that is why I am convinced (as the psychologist I talked to is) that he SHOULD get psychotherapy as well.

[vashti]

vashti, are you kidding me. Of COURSE I've looked up the number.

???

That wasn't me who suggested looking up a number. I am not convinced he isn't just manipulating the hell out of you for some attention, and because I am very accustomed to dealing with people like this, I wouldn't be inclined to give it to him.

[searock]

???

That wasn't me who suggested looking up a number. I am not convinced he isn't just manipulating the hell out of you for some attention, and because I am very accustomed to dealing with people like this, I wouldn't be inclined to give it to him.

Oops, sorry! I'm going to edit that.

I don't think he's trying to manipulate me... he's been suffering from these depression "bouts" for at least three years, and I only got close to him this year. So I don't think it's about me, besides I don't think he'd ever do something like that (on purpose)...

[Wakeup]

Sorry to assume you wouldn't think to look on the net for the number. Anyway... I totally agree with Vashti and everything she's posted in here. You are taking on too much responsibility and/or guilt. Just tell his parents what he said to you about killing himself and then the rest is up to your friend and with his DOCTOR(s) help whether he wants to get well or not.

[searock]

I think you're right... it's just that I hate to break his trust or something, especially now that he feels alone and abandoned and desperate... but I do realize that there is nothing else I can do, now that he won't even talk with me anymore so he can't even vent or anything... If everything had gone "well", in September I would've accompanied him to a psychologist and it would've gone on from there. But now... I'm afraid there could be no time for that. I'll contact his family as soon as possible.

Thank you for all your support.

[DrBremer]

Only thing I can add is that a female colleague of mine was in the same situation!She did nothing,she just let the guy do what he wanted to do and he eventually jumped from the 7th store So my advice is to call his parents-tell them what the situation is and be there to help him get through this !I think that if you just call them and step back that would give him the final blow!I don't know a person that would like to be left alone with his/her parents and a bunch of doctors in a situation like this!?Believe me-Everything will be alright!