I feel like a jerk - he has herpes

[Petit Papillon]

Apparently getting HSV 1 on you genitals is different from getting HSV 2 on your genitals. Even though the symptoms are the same.

He doesn't have any symptoms and hasn't had an outbreak in years.

OMG can you die because of it? Jesus Christ, stop making problems where there are no . Again, it's not HIV, Hep C, or other life threatening illness. I feel sorry for people with Herpes in US, they should come to Europe, we don't stigmatize them here.

[bulrush]

Too late.

You already have it.

Everyone has it.

Well, OK, not absolutely everyone, but over 90% of the world population has HSV. If you have ever had a cold sore, you have herpes. If you've never had a cold sore, you have asymptomatic herpes. You should pretty much just assume that anyone you have sex with has it too. It's not that this guy has herpes; it's that he has symptoms. Most people don't, even when they carry the virus.

My understanding is herpes from a cold sore is a different species than genital herpes. Same genus, different species. So when doctors make blanket statements about "herpes", they are probably referring to the cold sore species, not genital herpes.

Can anyone else support this? Wikipedia maybe? [url]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herpes[/url]

I've talked to people with herpes, and they all said "no big deal". After 10 years or so, your body develops an immunity and one might have one or no outbreaks in a given year.

[John Littlejohn]

There are two strains of herpes, HSV-1 and HSV-2. Depending on where in the world you live, one is more prevalent than the other.

HSV-1 is often carelessly referred to as "oral herpes" because in America, where people pay attention to it, HSV-1 is mainly found on people's mouths. HSV-2 is often carelessly referred to as "genital herpes" because in America, where people pay attention to it, HSV-2 is mainly found on people's genitals. But that arrangement is mainly because of the history of the infection in America and not because one virus is interested in one place and the other the other. Either virus can infect anywhere (I know someone who gets outbreaks on their knees). People with normal immune systems might get a cold sore when they first contract it, but rarely other symptoms. If you ever got a cold sore on your mouth and touched your genitals afterwards, you probably have the infection there too. But it is of no consequence if you have no symptoms.

HSV 1 and 2 are not separate species of virus, but different strains of the same virus. The symptoms of either strain are essentially identical. A different species of the same genus of virus would be, for instance, Herpes Zoster, otherwise known as the Chicken Pox. Does anyone ever get all bent out of shape over getting the chicken pox? No. The only significant difference between herpes zoster and HSV is that HZ spreads a little more easily and causes disease. Like HSV, Chicken Pox **never goes away.** If you've ever had herpes zoster, you have herpes zoster forever. It may return in later life (when the immune system is less agile) as Shingles. Given that herpes zoster actually causes disease (chicken pox), and blisters that might never go away (shingles), it is a far more dangerous and serious condition than HSV. If it would be silly to base serious relationship decisions on the possibility of getting the chicken pox, an actual disease, then it's about ten times more silly to base them on a similar virus with no disease.

People who do get regular cold sores get them because their immune systems, for some reason, are less effective at battling the virus. Whether a person gets cold sores has more to do with the person's body's immune response to the virus than with whether the person is infected. Everyone is infected, and those with glitchy immune systems show symptoms. That's pretty much it. The thought of someone getting dumped because they had a cold sore years ago is outrageous. Good luck finding anyone.

[Bluesidhe]

Very good points have been made. I have a lot to think about because I do like this guy. A lot.

[Wakeup]

Too late.

You already have it.

Everyone has it.

Well, OK, not absolutely everyone, but over 90% of the world population has HSV. If you have ever had a cold sore, you have herpes. If you've never had a cold sore, you have asymptomatic herpes. You should pretty much just assume that anyone you have sex with has it too. It's not that this guy has herpes; it's that he has symptoms. Most people don't, even when they carry the virus.

The only thing you need to know is that before the late 1970s, doctors told patients with herpes to go home, sleep it off, no biggie, they'll go away. It wasn't even considered an STD because the virus is transmitted in a variety of ways, not just sex, and it causes no illness. What changed? In the late '70s, pharma company Burroughs Wellcome developed Zovirax to treat herpetic infections in severely immuno compromised patients. The problem was that the market for that is small. Since Zovirax also treats the symptoms of generic herpes outbreaks they developed a marketing campaign to stigmatize the genital version, to create anxiety in consumers and sell more pills. It was one of the most successful marketing campaigns ever. Overnight, 3/4 of the population got reclassified as sick lepers in need of their medication. We now call this type of campaign "disease mongering."

Now, it is up to you to decide whether to love this man or be a dupe to an advertising campaign from the 1980s about a harmless skin condition that has been around since biblical times and that you probably already have.

You simplfy and You should be ashamed.. or at the very least site your source(s) I have never read that we all have genital herpes that are in-active (most of us are inactive herpes simplex carriers)and where a doctor told those with active symptoms to just go home and sleep it off. Anyone who has had a mouth cold sore known as Herpes Simplex, (commonly called a fever blister in the '70's and is a completely different strain than genital herpes) knows that they are called "blisters" and "sores" for a reason.

Very good points have been made. I have a lot to think about because I do like this guy. A lot.

I suggest you do your own research through google and through speaking directly with your family doctor or your local STD/STI Clinic. Coming to a forum of "ill"-informed posters is not a very good source to decide your decision on. Be properly informed. Having the virus lay dorment inside you and having a breakout on your genitals/lips/throat on a re-occuring basis is quite another. Find out about the drugs he takes and inform yourself about them as well.

[Wakeup]

OMG can you die because of it? Jesus Christ, stop making problems where there are no . Again, it's not HIV, Hep C, or other life threatening illness. I feel sorry for people with Herpes in US, they should come to Europe, we don't stigmatize them here.

Thanks for the warning .

[Petit Papillon]

Thanks for the warning .

Who said that any European would want to even touch you LOL

[Wakeup]

Who said that any European would want to even touch you LOL

They'd be totally doing me a favor NOT to touch me if they are herpes riddled. lol The lack of concern about contacting genital/throat herpes is yet another reason I am totally happy I chose well when I chose my LIFE partner.

[John Littlejohn]

or at the very least site your source(s)

Wikipedia would be the place to start for you, I assume.

I have never read that we all have genital herpes that are in-active (most of us are inactive herpes simplex carriers)

Genital herpes IS herpes simplex, genius.

[Petit Papillon]

They'd be totally doing me a favor NOT to touch me if they are herpes riddled. lol The lack of concern about contacting genital/throat herpes is yet another reason I am totally happy I chose well when I chose my LIFE partner.

Yeah you don't have to brag about the fool who decided to spend part of his life with such a waste of human material like you ... You really think you're smart, don't you ?

[Wakeup]

Not bragging, Little Butterfly.. I'm just stating a fact. It's scary to think what a dater has to go through to keep their sexual health these days. Genital Herpes is not something that I'd want to contract. I think it is quite a big deal and the laxidasical attitude towards it is plain frightening to me. Your attitude suits you... don't expect others to adopt it.

[Petit Papillon]

Not bragging, Little Butterfly.. I'm just stating a fact. It's scary to think what a dater has to go through to keep their sexual health these days. Genital Hepes is not something that I'd want to contract. I think it is quite a big deal and the laxidasical attitude towards it is plain frightening to me. Your attitude suits you... don't expect others to adopt it.

Sorry but I cannot stop myself . You're an idiot. You basically tell, that someone who has herpes should be banned from having sex ever in his/her life. You're simply an idiot , sorry there's no other word .
Herpes oh my God ... No wonder people don't tell the truth about what they have . Imagine to not have sex,because you have a virus , which will probably never leave , but won't neither kill you or anybody else ,never ever . Oh my God, it's hilarious

Edit : Wait you will tell for sure, that he can use a condom, but you still ban him from becoming a father ,as I assume he would have to wear a condom for the rest of his life
Lol again , I think even guys with HIV have it easier

[Wakeup]

You're being ridiculous. Do you honestly think that people should just go a head and have sex with people who have herpes because you think they should? Perhaps there should be a law that everyone with herpes should be arranged in a marriage with someone with herpes so that they don't have to go without sex. There are enough people who have practiced unprotected sex with people who have herpes that as far as I'm concerned you can all just date each other. Theyre is a dating site specifically set up for people who are infected with genital herpes. I would say that there are enough people that, like me would not want to have sex with them that they had to start looking for each other. I'm not unique, PP. There are more of Us (including the opening poster) who are not wanting to contact that desease... just because it won't kill us is no reason to change my mind

Platonic friends yes, sex partners... no thank you.

[Petit Papillon]

You're being ridiculous. Do you honestly think that people should just go a head and have sex with people who have herpes because you think they should? Perhaps there should be a law that everyone with herpes should be arranged in a marriage with someone with herpes so that they don't have to go without sex. There are enough people who have practiced unprotected sex with people who have herpes that as far as I'm concerned you can all just date each other. Theyre is a dating site specifically set up for people who are infected with genital herpes. I would say that there are enough people that, like me would not want to have sex with them that they had to start looking for each other. I'm not unique, PP. There are more of Us (including the opening poster) who are not wanting to contact that desease... just because it won't kill us is no reason to change my mind.

Buhahahahhahahaa I have an idea for you. Open a dating website "Herpes4Luv" lol . I seriously can't believe it

Wait are you a friend of Hitler? It's like you're saying that people with pimples shouldn't reproduce LOL . And where are the rights of those unborn? They will most likely get herpes too! Poor them

Race segregation

Homo sapiens and homo herpes

I'm having lots of laugh

OP I hope you'll understand how ridiculous this is This guy isn't dying and he's not giving you a lethal illness . Maybe you won't even have any symptoms ever. Seriously, lol

[Wakeup]

Nice title... But I think it would serve those with genital herpes to have someone with it to run the site... Ya know, someone who can relate, be sympathetic, empathetic. Maybe someone like Itchy and Scratchy from the Simpson's cartoon could run it? lol.