What now!?!?

**James Banes** · 27-09-11, 10:19 PM

bulrush, he might get her pregnant or an STD if he did do something. Even if it is neither, she can still press charges so other women can be aware of this sicko's behavior.

**geminilove** · 28-09-11, 11:10 AM

Hey Thanks
Just to let you guys know, he contacted me and we talked about it. Basically I told him how I felt about the whole situation and how if I remember details of the night then he must remember far more than I. He confessed to coming on to me but says that once I told him I didn't want to do anything he stopped. Either way we decided it would be best we went our separate ways and that's what I'm planning on doing. We have friends in common so I'll probably be seeing him again but as far has going out with him or having a relationship, that is not happening. If he was disrespectful enough to try to take advantage of me while I was in that state, then he does not deserve to me with me.

**James Banes** · 28-09-11, 11:16 AM

Okay, I'm confused. Did he take advantage of you or not?

**MerryH** · 28-09-11, 02:20 PM

Originally Posted by James Banes

Okay, I'm confused. Did he take advantage of you or not?

She was so wasted that she puked and he still put his hands on her in a way that she was uncomfortable with. Why are you confused?

Or were you just looking for a chance to continue to spout off about what you said earlier:

Originally Posted by James Banes

I'm wondering if this isn't a case where someone wants something when they're drunk but has horrible second thoughts when sober.

Yeah, it's like when you get so drunk that you take off your shirt and start dancing on tables wiggling your fat hairy beer gut around. Horrible second thoughts when sober. That's cool, though, you took it upon yourself to act like a jackass. It would be different if you were so drunk that you didn't realize it would be wrong or stupid if your buddies strung you up and put a pair of sunglasses on you and pulled a Weekend at Bernie's and made you take off your shirt and wiggle your fat hairy beer gut around for you. And they filmed it. And then they put it on YouTube. I think you'd feel a little taken advantage of the next day.

That's probably the stupidest ****ing analogy I've ever made.

**MerryH** · 28-09-11, 02:21 PM

Originally Posted by geminilove

Hey Thanks
Just to let you guys know, he contacted me and we talked about it. Basically I told him how I felt about the whole situation and how if I remember details of the night then he must remember far more than I. He confessed to coming on to me but says that once I told him I didn't want to do anything he stopped. Either way we decided it would be best we went our separate ways and that's what I'm planning on doing. We have friends in common so I'll probably be seeing him again but as far has going out with him or having a relationship, that is not happening. If he was disrespectful enough to try to take advantage of me while I was in that state, then he does not deserve to me with me.

Good for you. Well done.

**Tonette Watson** · 28-09-11, 02:29 PM

Hi.

Are you contacting him because you like him and want to try and pursue a realtionship or just to find out what happened? If it is the latter I would try and move on. You have had a really bad experience but you seem to have learned from it, which means that it was not really a bad experience. It had a purpose.
Remember the past is the past and feelings of guilt, shame and blame cannot change the past they just make you feel bad.

Good luck

**Tonette Watson** · 28-09-11, 02:34 PM

Hi

If you are only contacting your friend to try and find out what really happened I would not pursue it as the knowledge is not going to make you feel better.
You have learned from this bad experience, which means that it was not just a bad experience, it had a purpose. Feelings of blame, guilt and shame cannot change the past, they just make you feel bad.

If you want to try and develop a relationship arrange a meeting and apologise for your behaviour. Explain that it was out of character and not something that will be repeated. The reaction of your friend will tell you whether he is worthy of you.

Good Luck

**bulrush** · 28-09-11, 08:23 PM

Originally Posted by James Banes

bulrush, he might get her pregnant or an STD if he did do something. Even if it is neither, she can still press charges so other women can be aware of this sicko's behavior.

You make a valid point, but we don't know if she is pregnant or has an STD right at the moment. But my point was, the shock of her finding out she did something she didn't really want to, would mess her up much more than simply never knowing. Hence I said "better to not know".

**Wakeup** · 28-09-11, 10:39 PM

Originally Posted by geminilove

Hey Thanks
Just to let you guys know, he contacted me and we talked about it. Basically I told him how I felt about the whole situation and how if I remember details of the night then he must remember far more than I. He confessed to coming on to me but says that once I told him I didn't want to do anything he stopped. Either way we decided it would be best we went our separate ways and that's what I'm planning on doing. We have friends in common so I'll probably be seeing him again but as far has going out with him or having a relationship, that is not happening. If he was disrespectful enough to try to take advantage of me while I was in that state, then he does not deserve to me with me.

Learn the lesson... You DO know what the lesson is, right?

**devonbrown** · 28-09-11, 10:49 PM

OP, I think we are all glad that you learned that A) this guy is a total loser and B ) that you need to keep yourself in control of your own actions because you need to be able to count on yourself at all times. (You did learn that second part, right?)
So we are glad you are away from that guy.

Drinking can be a fun social experience. Even losing a little bit of inhibition can be fun. But don't ever let it get to the point where you are not in control of what happens to you. Only bad things can happen then.

Good luck. And I hope your next guy is a little bit less of an ass.

**geminilove** · 29-09-11, 01:36 PM

Originally Posted by James Banes

Okay, I'm confused. Did he take advantage of you or not?

Did he take advantage of me as in had sex with me? No he did not, but other things happened that I recall that in my opinion should not have occurred.

**geminilove** · 29-09-11, 01:41 PM

Originally Posted by Tonette Watson

Hi

If you are only contacting your friend to try and find out what really happened I would not pursue it as the knowledge is not going to make you feel better.
You have learned from this bad experience, which means that it was not just a bad experience, it had a purpose. Feelings of blame, guilt and shame cannot change the past, they just make you feel bad.

If you want to try and develop a relationship arrange a meeting and apologise for your behaviour. Explain that it was out of character and not something that will be repeated. The reaction of your friend will tell you whether he is worthy of you.

Good Luck

Hey
I'm no longer trying to figure out what exactly happened. The way I see it now what happened happened and there's nothing I can do NOW to change it. We both apologized for out behaviors and at the moment it's best if we are just friends. Who knows what the future may hold but I think we both need to do some growing up before we try to have a relationship.
Thanks for your advice.

**IndiReloaded** · 29-09-11, 01:42 PM

Just be careful in future. My first read of your post was that he had slipped you a date rape drug. Do you know about these?

[url=http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Date_rape_drug]Date rape drug - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia[/url]

**geminilove** · 29-09-11, 01:46 PM

Originally Posted by devonbrown

OP, I think we are all glad that you learned that A) this guy is a total loser and B ) that you need to keep yourself in control of your own actions because you need to be able to count on yourself at all times. (You did learn that second part, right?)
So we are glad you are away from that guy.

Drinking can be a fun social experience. Even losing a little bit of inhibition can be fun. But don't ever let it get to the point where you are not in control of what happens to you. Only bad things can happen then.

Good luck. And I hope your next guy is a little bit less of an ass.

Hey,
Yes I do believe that I have learned from this experience. It was the first time I have ever been drunk and it will be the last time I ever get to that point again (at least I will try my very best). Someone had mentioned that Long Islands contained a lot of alcohol, I guess I just never thought about that. A mistake on my side and one that I'm not planning on making again. There was nothing worst that not having complete control over my body and waking up the next day with pieces of my night missing. It was scary and not something I am willing to go through again.
Thanks.

**geminilove** · 29-09-11, 01:54 PM

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded

Just be careful in future. My first read of your post was that he had slipped you a date rape drug. Do you know about these?

Hey,
Yes I am familiar with what a date rape drug is. Waking up the next morning it crossed my mind especially with some of the pieces of the night I remembered. I just don't know during what time it would have been slipped into my drink since I was there every time my new drink was mixed and never left it alone. I know though that if one would have been slipped (assuming none were) I could have missed it or he could just have been that good at sneaking around. Either way I'm pretty confident that I wasn't given one. Thanks though and I'll definitely be more careful next time I go out drinking with anyone.

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