As some other have said I don't think your list is unreasonable to expect, I do however think it's unreasonable for you to expect all of these without help. I'm no stay at home mom, but I can only imagine the hell it will be. I suspect that if some of her stress is relieved, she will be more enjoyable to be around.

Buy her a weekend spa trip for 2, and inform her best friend or sister or mom to go with. And send her on her way.
Get a sitter once or twice a month and take her out on a date like the good old days...
Give her a reason to dress up...
I second the cleaning help once or twice a month to relieve some of the pressure.
I second the approach that she should be encouraged to go out and dote on herself when the kids are at school

A list for you?
You too need to help with housework.
You need to make your wife feel like the hottest, sexiest thing in the world
Take on dinner duties once a week
Make sure you spoil her from time to time