SHE CHEATED !!help!! what now???

[King Zarathu]

Your subject says . . . And so I can skip reading the post and just give you the right advice right away.

Dump her. Doesn't matter WHY she cheated, or HOW she cheated, or where or with whom. She cheated. Therefore, she's unworthy of you.

Alexi

I could not agree with this more.

[blackiesharley]

So Chrome, how the the talk go yesterday? Hopefully well, whatever final decesion you made.

Amazingly, yesterday took a major turn for the better in my case. When she woke up she was sobbing saying things like "I (meaning her) was an ******* and she didn't mean to hurt me," "I know I ****ed up" "PLEASE forgive me" "I never planed on going out with that guy, I was just mad at some things you had said" (I can't think of what, but oh well).

Later in the day, I overheard her whispering into the phone. I thought she was calling the guy so I listened. Thankfully, I was wrong. She had called her Doctor to get back on her meds. This was a very good sign, on her own she's asking for help. She knows she's ****ed in the head.

Early evening, still apologizing while we were sipping some wine, she dropped a bombshell by saying "Would you ever consider marrying me? That's what I want." My answer was that I wouldn't close the door on anything in the future but today is a bad day to talk about it. IF she got herself together, sometime in the future I would consider it. Time will tell.

Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble on about my deal, again let us know what happened to you yesterday.

[sfalexi]

So Chrome, how the the talk go yesterday? Hopefully well, whatever final decesion you made.

Amazingly, yesterday took a major turn for the better in my case. When she woke up she was sobbing saying things like "I (meaning her) was an ******* and she didn't mean to hurt me," "I know I ****ed up" "PLEASE forgive me" "I never planed on going out with that guy, I was just mad at some things you had said" (I can't think of what, but oh well).

Later in the day, I overheard her whispering into the phone. I thought she was calling the guy so I listened. Thankfully, I was wrong. She had called her Doctor to get back on her meds. This was a very good sign, on her own she's asking for help. She knows she's ****ed in the head.

Early evening, still apologizing while we were sipping some wine, she dropped a bombshell by saying "Would you ever consider marrying me? That's what I want." My answer was that I wouldn't close the door on anything in the future but today is a bad day to talk about it. IF she got herself together, sometime in the future I would consider it. Time will tell.

Anyway, I didn't mean to ramble on about my deal, again let us know what happened to you yesterday.

Sounds good. Yes, it's a VERY good sign that she sought out her doctor's help on her own. At this point (like you've probably done in the past), take it one day at a time.

Alexi

[blackiesharley]

Sounds good. Yes, it's a VERY good sign that she sought out her doctor's help on her own. At this point (like you've probably done in the past), take it one day at a time.

Alexi

Thanks Alexi, yes I was very pleased at that. It's like she KNOWS she has mental issues, but when she gets into these 'episodes' there's nothing I can do except ride the storm out.

And you're right, it's one day at a time.

[schueys_girl]

Chrome, i know where your coming from with this, and i can tell you really do care about her, but the bottom line is she still cheated. Now, she does this dispite the fact that you constantly tell her you love her, how beautiful she is etc...so she cannot be doing it because she isnt gettin enough attention or love from you.

Also what interests me is that she says to you how ugly she feels and how fat she is etc and then she has the ability and confidence to go out and physically cheat on you. So i dont reckon she is as down on herself as she makes out to you. Someone who hates themselves and has no confidence in thier physical appearence would find it very hard to actively cheat on someone who they love and constantly reassures them.

Also, if it was nothing serious why did she just not confess? This is a point you seem to be forgetting. If it was quite early on in the relationship (3 months or so) if she had of confessed at least you would know she has the ability to be honest and feel remorse. She didnt confess a friend had to tell you, so who knows if there is anything else she is hiding?

I dont mean to be negative, i know it is hard to let go of someone you love, but you are both so young, and her being unfaithful after only 6 months at the age of 17 isnt a very good sign. What happens after 2 years when the 'honeymoon' period is over and romance and excitment kind of disappear when routine sets in? You are barely out of the first stages of a young relationship where you should be all over each other and not even considering anyone else.

Surely someone who claims to love you and want to be with you forever would just not act in this way. And that is the main point you need to consider here. You are two young to be considering spending the rest of your life together anyway, it sounds like your first serious relationship with someone you really care about, and your jumping in feet first thinking you wont find anyone else out there for you at the grand old age of 17.

Slow down a bit and stop looking so far into the future. If you want to give her another chance then do it, but only one more. And stop looking so far into the future because inevitably in a few years you are bound to grow apart anyway, its just what happens to the majority of young/high school relationships. Believe me ive been there and i couldnt imagine being with my high school boyfriend now and we were together from 16 to 18.
good luck -x-

[blackiesharley]

Well, I'm sorry Chrome for thread jacking, but my situation has turned from bad to great back to bad today. Last night she wanted to marry me, today she wants to leave me. Why? I wouldn't put her name on my bank account. "Don't you trust me? I'll co-sign a mortage on a house with you." That money is all I have in the World and I don't risk it for anyone, I'm not stupid. Ironically, I might have been foolish enough to consider it had it not been for that phone call the other night.

It's OVER!!!!! Now it's just a matter of getting rid of her. Too bad, it could have been great but I've really done all I can to help her and it's become a roller coaster. Never one of my favorite rides....

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