What are you supposed to do about guys who...

[doll69]

? what does that have to do with my question?

[Jellybelly]

Girls are not just as bad, and girls do not love the chase. In my opinion, anyway.

I think that ever since we were cavemen hunting on plains, the deal has been that guys are the hunters and girls are the pray. Girls love being the pray - guys love the chase. This is of course a generalization, but I think that it is basically the truth.

[doll69]

Girls = prey = victims

Why am I a girl?

[sjsing]

I agree with Jellybelly...as old fashioned as it seems, I think it's probably true.

Guys who chase after you for ages, then back off when you show interest I HATE it! My comfort in life is that they will end up sad and lonely. Not that I'm bitter!!
They are not worth your effort, if they are not mature enough (as it seems to be the younger ones that do this) to handle what could be a good relationship with someone they are attracted to, then move on and find someone who is.
Have some comfort in the fact that you are not alone when this happens, a lot of guys seem to do this....it's not you that has the problem...always remember that.

[bball_1523]

Wow, thnx to all who've replied

I guess what I've really learnt is that there is no way of knowing, seem like the ppl who think to keep at it and to stop thinking about this is split half half.

I think what I'm going to do is to trust my gut. Your gut never lies right? That's what everyone says, but just wondering whether anyone has had any experiences where their instincts weren't completely right?

There's also no way knowing what you're gut will do. I say just give him another chance to talk with you.

How often do you talk to him?

[doll69]

Next to never. When he used to have a gf, he would give me "looks" but back off when i try to talk to him. I have given up trying to talk to him.

[bball_1523]

Next to never. When he used to have a gf, he would give me "looks" but back off when i try to talk to him. I have given up trying to talk to him.

do you see him often nowadays? If so, why don't you initiate a conversation? I'm sure he'd appreciate it, and if he doesn't then I'd say it doesn't hurt to ask why he's not being communicative. Maybe there's something going on in his life. Please don't just give up, you never know what could happen.

[doll69]

Hi, thnx for the encouragement I guess I just need to find a right time to do it. It seems that there is some kind of 'thing' going on between us. Like you know when somebody is trying to avoid your gaze? It's like when you look at them, you just catch a glimpse of them looking away. He did try to talk to me once, but I was so pissed off about his previous game-playing, I just brushed him off. I just think that even if I do try something, it'll just go back to that interest-disinterest thing (and if he really was interested, wouldn't he try harder than that??) I dunno. I never seem to have the same kind of luck as other girls in this thing.

Sometimes I think I have fundamental problems with me as a person. It's like if I'm with a friend, and we meet a stranger. The stranger would most probably warm up to my friend more quickly, whilst keeping their guard up with me. Has anyone else experienced this? What traits do you think will make a person react to you in this way? Thnx!

[bball_1523]

Hi, thnx for the encouragement I guess I just need to find a right time to do it. It seems that there is some kind of 'thing' going on between us. Like you know when somebody is trying to avoid your gaze? It's like when you look at them, you just catch a glimpse of them looking away. He did try to talk to me once, but I was so pissed off about his previous game-playing, I just brushed him off. I just think that even if I do try something, it'll just go back to that interest-disinterest thing (and if he really was interested, wouldn't he try harder than that??) I dunno. I never seem to have the same kind of luck as other girls in this thing.

Sometimes I think I have fundamental problems with me as a person. It's like if I'm with a friend, and we meet a stranger. The stranger would most probably warm up to my friend more quickly, whilst keeping their guard up with me. Has anyone else experienced this? What traits do you think will make a person react to you in this way? Thnx!

you know, I've been struggling to talk to this girl I like recently. I have a hard time getting a hold of her, and sometimes I think she's avoiding me or something, but then all the sudden I get my opportunities to talk to her out of nowhere. I think we all just gotta be patient and not think we're gonna mess up if we don't have conclusive facts. I at least want to hang out with this girl and get a chance to get to know her, so that's what I'm gonna focus on for now, even though my mind wanders all the time.

I don't think you should conclude anything at all. What makes a person react a certain way is how they interpret things they hear. Just be yourself and be the nicest person you can be. Definitely show interest and don't brush him off, unless he straight out tells you that he's got other plans. But for now nobody knows what is exactly going through his mind, so maybe stay neutral on what you think, and don't expect anything. Goodluck.

[moeburn]

I know I have this problem myself. I will chase a girl for so long, then she might show some ounce of interest or give in just a little, and I'll go "What the hell? This is working? Whoa, what do I do now?" Essentially, its a symptom of low self confidence, or just downright confusion.

First step? Back off, make him want you again, make him have to consider both sides of the issue.

[doll69]

Hi bball, thnx for the encouragement,everything you've said makes sense, I'll keep it in mind

Moeburn: this guy is NOT unconfident ok, maybe that's just the way it seems, cos I seem confident on the outside, but if i really was as confident as I seem, I probably would not have this problem right now. I have pretty much stepped back, but since I don't see much happening right now, I think it's just a case of "he's just not that into you"- kinda frustrating huh? I'm studying a major which requires ALOT of commitment and time, i can only be so active in order to meet somebody else

[bball_1523]

Hi bball, thnx for the encouragement,everything you've said makes sense, I'll keep it in mind

Moeburn: this guy is NOT unconfident ok, maybe that's just the way it seems, cos I seem confident on the outside, but if i really was as confident as I seem, I probably would not have this problem right now. I have pretty much stepped back, but since I don't see much happening right now, I think it's just a case of "he's just not that into you"- kinda frustrating huh? I'm studying a major which requires ALOT of commitment and time, i can only be so active in order to meet somebody else

well, I hope in whatever decisions you make, that you things might actually work out, but ultimately make the wisest decision you can think of. If you feel right just stepping back, then go for it. If you ever see the guy and you've already stepped back, give him a "hello" here and there. Who knows something may happen out of the blue...

[doll69]

Who knows something may happen out of the blue...

Hope so But as far as I know, things like this only happen to other ppl. Seems like I give, but other ppl get the rewards

[bball_1523]

lol that's how I feel all the time doll, I really don't what to do when I'm in that situation, pshhh, I'm in that situation right now... lol

[BabyLamb]

to all the self-described 'jerks': if you treat girls this way for fun, please don't come sulking back when the same is done to you.

'k? :-)