Somebody please help me

**Heavyheart** · 22-03-12, 09:04 AM

I feel you! That completely sucks

**nerdy_guy** · 22-03-12, 09:08 AM

Originally Posted by Heavyheart

Haha hmmm are you saying that because of the typos? Yeah well sorry haha. I was using my Hp to type. Yeah I suppose the only way this will ever repair itself is with time. Hopefully he will forgive me one day

It's not the typo. It's the "bro", its the ultimate in the asian arsenal of completely blocking off a guy's advances.

**Heavyheart** · 22-03-12, 09:27 AM

Originally Posted by nerdy_guy

It's not the typo. It's the "bro", its the ultimate in the asian arsenal of completely blocking off a guy's advances.

It is?? I didn't know that.. For me, it was out of desperation. Honestly thought I had no other way out haha..

**nerdy_guy** · 22-03-12, 09:48 AM

And it actually hits pretty hard. You'd never feel it unless a guy you like blocks you off by calling you "sis". I've been around so I pretty much know how to block/evade a guy's/girl's approach. There are things in life that you have to approach head on, this is probably one of them. For his part, if what you did doesn't kill him, it would make him stronger. Here's the thing though, at some point in your relationship, should you start growing feelings for him, and he's accepted being a bro, you'll have to end up being stuck at being a "sis" to him. Taking back the "bro" is much more difficult than putting him there.

**Heavyheart** · 22-03-12, 09:57 AM

Everybody on this forum makes the bro thg sound so awful.. 'using a butter knife and chopping off his penis' even! I have had absolutely NO experience with boys and my use of the word as a deterrent was instinctive.. I can tell you very honestly that I don't think I will ever have feelings for him even of the laws of attraction are hard to explain. I have never and will never see him that way.

**nerdy_guy** · 22-03-12, 10:00 AM

You're definitely chinese hahaha

**Dustismybed** · 22-03-12, 10:03 AM

Honestly speaking, I don't think anyone would understand the friendship with him as much as you do. Only you would know how things started, how you interacted etc. You need to ask yourself what needs to be done after this. Knowing him, do you think it would work to just be friends with him? How much does he value the friendship? Do you think it is worth it? One more thing, reflect on the way he's been treating you before and after the problem started. If he's being a bastard, think about whether you really want to do something about this.

**Dustismybed** · 22-03-12, 10:14 AM

It is the worst possible deterrent. Guys usually get totally crushed when girls do that.

**Heavyheart** · 22-03-12, 10:21 AM

Originally Posted by nerdy_guy

You're definitely chinese hahaha

Whyyyy haha. I am most definitely not Chinese. Are you Asian by the way? You've got to be male haha

**Heavyheart** · 22-03-12, 10:24 AM

Originally Posted by Dustismybed

Honestly speaking, I don't think anyone would understand the friendship with him as much as you do. Only you would know how things started, how you interacted etc. You need to ask yourself what needs to be done after this. Knowing him, do you think it would work to just be friends with him? How much does he value the friendship? Do you think it is worth it? One more thing, reflect on the way he's been treating you before and after the problem started. If he's being a bastard, think about whether you really want to do something about this.

Very true, thanks! He IS being a bastard to me atm. He does seem to prioritize his love over our friendship. The ball is kinda in his court I guess. But he was the one who contacted me and told me never will he speak to me again.

**smackie9** · 22-03-12, 11:11 AM

Originally Posted by IndiReloaded

What hurts is that he is no longer giving you his attention. But that's how it goes: guys who want a romantic relationship with you will give you attention and gifts. Calling him 'brother' is like hacking off his penis with a butter knife.

If you don't return his feelings, cut him loose. That is, stop trying to be his 'friend'. If he feels he needs to back off from your 'friendship' (its not, btw, not for him anyway), then let him go. Don't drag him through the muck, poor guy. Find a source of admiration and attention someplace else.

I agree with this this too.....couldn't have said it better myself.

**smackie9** · 22-03-12, 11:23 AM

Originally Posted by Heavyheart

Very true, thanks! He IS being a bastard to me atm. He does seem to prioritize his love over our friendship. The ball is kinda in his court I guess. But he was the one who contacted me and told me never will he speak to me again.

He did this to himself. He didn't have the balls to just ask you out on a date to really show his intentions at the beginning. Instead he did the classic nice guy thing by being friends first so you will get you to know how great of a BF he would make by showering you with attention and gifts....and we all know that just gets them cast into the friends zone. He got himself so convinced that you felt the way he did, till the day you said "you are like a brother to me". That just sent him in a downward spin. He is just being a sore ass loser, cursing you for using him and leading him on...after all he did for you and this is what he gets in return! (sarcasm). Hun I've been in your situation a few times myself.......I tell you this, it was never really a friendship to him, it was a courtship. It's over.

**nerdy_guy** · 22-03-12, 12:57 PM

Originally Posted by Heavyheart

Whyyyy haha. I am most definitely not Chinese. Are you Asian by the way? You've got to be male haha

Yeah, I'm an asian male. I've been through this myself, though in an indirect sort of way, so I know how it feels. That is why I know how this feels, and how to get over it. Its was a little difficult in a different sort of way, but I fixed it anyway so it has become part of my life history.

**Heavyheart** · 22-03-12, 01:16 PM

Originally Posted by nerdy_guy

yeah, i'm an asian male. I've been through this myself, though in an indirect sort of way, so i know how it feels. That is why i know how this feels, and how to get over it. Its was a little difficult in a different sort of way, but i fixed it anyway so it has become part of my life history.

i see i see

**Dustismybed** · 22-03-12, 01:18 PM

Originally Posted by smackie9

He did this to himself. He didn't have the balls to just ask you out on a date to really show his intentions at the beginning. Instead he did the classic nice guy thing by being friends first so you will get you to know how great of a BF he would make by showering you with attention and gifts....and we all know that just gets them cast into the friends zone. He got himself so convinced that you felt the way he did, till the day you said "you are like a brother to me". That just sent him in a downward spin. He is just being a sore ass loser, cursing you for using him and leading him on...after all he did for you and this is what he gets in return! (sarcasm). Hun I've been in your situation a few times myself.......I tell you this, it was never really a friendship to him, it was a courtship. It's over.

So damn true. No offense to guys, but seriously, they don't realize just how much they complicate things when they swing back and forth like that.

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