STILL single...why?

[IndiReloaded]

I want a monogamous, long-term relationship with someone who wants the same thing.

I either encounter men who are interested in hanging around with me - but who are either a bit messed up or who are just looking for fun - or I meet men who are looking for the right woman, but don't give me the time of day!

Okay, I took out the extraneous things. Your first sentence is what you want. The other stuff I almost deleted but thought it might be useful to keep as an indication of what to avoid.

So, how are you currently selecting for men who want a monogamous, long-term relationship? How are you meeting them, what do you discuss when you do, how do you present yourself...

[caligirl23]

I definitely say take things slooooow! If a guy is coming at you pretty hard with the calls/texts, flowers, or whatever, make him wait before you take the relationship to the next level. Granted, we are adults and sometimes the "wait until the 3rd date to sleep with him" doesn't apply, so what I am saying is...don't have sex just for fun or because you think that is the next step. Wait to get to know a man and let him know you and engage in that intimacy when you actually have feelings for the person and you know he has them for you. If you sleep with him early on, he might think "what else is there" and then you end up being expendable. Just relax and enjoy a person without making it more serious.

[iamaninnocentma]

you should buy one of those push up bras. youll be married in 6 months. and maybe get one of those necklaces with a message on.

[BoredGeorge]

Hello everybody



I'm so tired of being treated as expendable. Sometimes I wonder if I have it written on my forehead.

I suspect that either your standards are way too high or you've reached the point where you are no longer as valuable to men as you once were and they're happy just to sleep with you then move on when they get bored. At 32 you're hardly a spring chicken anymore and there are a lot of younger more beautiful women for men to commit to.

Also, do you aim for older men ? Most single men around your age are probably bitter from all the years of rejection you gave them when it turns out based on your single status at age 32 (when everyone is is married and having babies) that you probably should not have rejected them and as you put it, the men you accepted were just using you. Sad.

[Boisdevie]

and maybe get one of those necklaces with a message on.

Sage advice. Bought my GF one of those tacky necklaces and now I get BJs whenever I want.

[Maraniska]

I found comments on this thread very interesting. Your dominant thoughts will always find a way to come true. Being single can be an adventure taking you to the core of your authentic self. Reviewing our experiences with relationships can enable us to look at ways of moving on. However one does have to heal their past, or you will be dragging sh*t that didn't work for you into another relationship. No one wins the blame game. It is just as destructive to blame yourself for relationship breakups as to point the finger and blame the other half. You have to "clean up the kitchen" so to speak. The first thing to wipe down and really clean up are the stories we keep telling ourselves.

I read a great little ebook that gave lots of tips about picking up the pieces and becoming whole and ready for a relationship. I see it is now available on Amazon kindle. It is called "How to be Single Again"

Check it out - it may help you colour your future relationship with yourself and others very differently.