Where did I go Wrong?

[bluesummer]

Wow, she takes advantage of you, and then when you call her out on it she tosses you out of the house?! What a princess! Sounds like she's just looking for a Mr. Mom to be her live in nanny so she can go live her life kid-free and hang with her girlfriends. They're not even your kids, and you're not married. You don't owe her shit, and she is being straight up unfair and unreasonable.

Do NOT give an inch on this, seriously. I'm not even sure why you'd want to be with someone like this but it's your life and your call. Do not live with her again until there are some serious ground rules laid down, as in you aren't watching her kids and picking up after her ass every night. If she can't wrap her head around it, I say move on and save yourself a headache.

[sr2011]

Thanks Blue....
But if we have "fun" together....should I just enjoy it for what it is now???

[HeartIsAching]

Thanks Blue....
But if we have "fun" together....should I just enjoy it for what it is now???

Go for it. That's obviously the answer you want to hear. Hope you enjoy the outcome.

[Wakeup]

Thanks Blue....
But if we have "fun" together....should I just enjoy it for what it is now???

I'm embarassed for you!

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Dude, why do you have to live with her to **** her?

Go over there, **** her, and go home to your kid whose best interest you don't have in mind. Sex seems to be all you really care about with this woman(you're pussy whipped), so I don't see what the problem with this is.

[Wakeup]

I suggest you find a woman with NO children and no self-respect either and **** her instead. It will save you a lot of grief in the meantime.

[IndiReloaded]

But if we have "fun" together....should I just enjoy it for what it is now???

Why would you do this? Those poor children. This is not good for them either, you know.

[warriormaiden]

God, the guys in this thread are kinda gross.

My opinion? (Though it really doesn't matter, now does it?)
Drop her. She wants someone to carry her responsibilities for her. I mean, huge warning flag, SHE'S LIVING WITH HER PARENTS. And is not giving them the courtesy of finding another place, so they can move. That, right there alone, speaks volumes.

[sr2011]

Update: Man, the scripts have flipped....
I investigated and re-read some stuff she sent me...and yes, she kicked me out to stop our battles, but she apologized and I know her parents didn't want me back in (I know they didn't want me in the first place, since they wanted the apartment empty, nothing against me). Once I was out, they now want her to find a place. So, after she was calling, texting, E-mailing me to see where we stood for 3 weeks, I started talking to her again.

We met up Friday night, had a major and ugly blowout. I walked out and she came back out for me....
and then we would up going back into her place and snuggling up/fooling around...

The next day, I sent her a big mail telling her how I feel, and if she needs time, to take it and find out what she wants, because I'm ready for stability. She told me she wants the same with me, misses me, loves me, and wants everything with the guy she fell in love with a year ago...

That night, she went out with her girl friends. She texted me a few times from the place she was at and said she missed me, and asked me to meet her there with my friends. I said we'll see, but to ring me whatever time she gets in so I can give her what she says she loved; to "fall asleep in my arms". I texted her that and two times, she didn't give me a straight answer (but she told me the day before she didn't know what time she'd be home that night). That night came and went.

BUT...Words vs. Actions.
She has been hit and miss, and almost acting indifferent to me.
Her friends posted pix of her from that night out, and she looked great, and it kills me to look at the pic anymore since she is getting complements from her friends, but I don't want to even see any new comments...

I cannot get her off my mind. A few weeks back, she was on the chase.
How did this happen? I'm trying to reply only when she does, but I don't want her to think it's ME being indifferent...

I'm trying to give her space..."If you love them, let them go..if they love you they'll come back""...


I'm 40, have dated many women, and even my ex-wife of 8 years, I NEVER flet like this (yes...a guy with tears....first time in my life....it means something)....


Any suggestions?....

[Wakeup]

We gave you plenty of suggestions already. You tell us nothing new. Your relationship is a codependent addiction to the nth degree and you want us to tell you how to make it better. The only thing that is going to change her is someone who stops enabling her to be the spoiled brat who lives with her parents and stops them from living stress free retirement years.

If you're crying then I suggest you give into her bullshit (like everyone else has all her life) and just watch her kids like a good boy so that she can look good and party without you.

Good luck.
Your bed, lie in it vacate it for good but this at logger heads thing you two have going is ridiculous.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

You deserve every ounce of this.

[jetta86s]

It's quite difficult to deal with someone who doesn't see the drawing line. Since you are the man of the house (or something like that) you should dictate the pace. Set the rules that both of you will follow. But its also your responsibility to give way. In a relationship you cant really be even with everything you know.

[IndiReloaded]

Sr. I wonder how your divorce/split from your child's mother happened. Did you make similar excuses when you should not have?

What lessons have you learned? Are you repeating past mistakes, by chance? Don't settle on important things like respect and boundaries. You know you will pay for it.

[sr2011]

Good point...everyone....very supportive. I have learned from past mistakes, but I am a work in progress, and I admit it.
Where I am at now is an interesting point. We kind of gave each other space without officially saying the word space. I even offered it to her, but she refused and said she didn't need space, since she knew what she wanted with me. I wrote her a letter about what I wanted, what I would love to have with her, but if this was not the right time for her, that she needs not feel responsible to make me feel happy...just get herself to a happier place and then take step by step. I like to do little things and actions for her. However, I have not seen much in terms of the action of love from her, and I told her Words are nice, but Actions really prove you're ready.

I was kidding around with her about he seeing other guys....not jealously, but teasing her like "you crazy kid!!"

She wrote me: "I love you from the time I met u and still till this day.. let's get one thing straight ..I'm not seeing anyone. Nor do I want to see anyone else babe.. i want to try us again.. we have a lot to talk about.."

Would you read between the lines on this, or this sounds like a strong indication of how she views us and a possible future together?

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Like you said, actions prove you are ready. Reading between the lines does nothing for you. If you want to be with her, then just be with her. But get used to being Mr. Mom.