Old flame encounter

[oldskool83]

you can raise a child and have a boyfriend. its not a hard deal. your speaking like your some fresh 15 yo who got knocked up lifes over. its called schudles, make yourself free at time the man could make him self free also. it could go years like that. i find it crazy because you have a child you want 1 thing but then also you want another.

you have a weakness for this guy, he obviouly wants anyones vagina walls. 40yo acting like hes back in highschool. wouldnt be supprized if there are others hes done the same thing to. i say this because of your "he got someone else knocked up we lost touch comment"

[haxan]

Why is it asking a lot? I would think this is the ultimate freedom for a man. She's pretty much saying she would like a friend for sex and companionship without the hassle of a relationship. What is it she isn't giving this guy? The headache of a blended family (I think she mentioned he has children also)?

To be exclusive in that kind of relationship, to me, is asking a lot.

Not sure what the guy in this situation wants out of his life. It sounds like he's living the bachelor lifestyle to the fullest. If so, I have no problem being this woman's fwb, but I would be dating, regularly, looking at other options. Who knows, maybe he keeps lots of other women's dishes after they bring him dinner.

I don't know, maybe the OP is a one in a thousand girl, but fwb is just that, "f" w/b. No reason or incentive to be exclusive for me.

[vashti]

you can raise a child and have a boyfriend. its not a hard deal.

Actually, it IS hard.

[IndiReloaded]

To be exclusive in that kind of relationship, to me, is asking a lot.

Not sure what the guy in this situation wants out of his life. It sounds like he's living the bachelor lifestyle to the fullest. If so, I have no problem being this woman's fwb, but I would be dating, regularly, looking at other options. Who knows, maybe he keeps lots of other women's dishes after they bring him dinner.

I don't know, maybe the OP is a one in a thousand girl, but fwb is just that, "f" w/b. No reason or incentive to be exclusive for me.

Still confused. I'll ask again: what is it she isn't giving him? I just don't see how this is any different from a dating situation in terms of sex and companionship. If things evolve such that they decide to build a life together, can't they change their mind later? What's the hangup on the 'exclusive' label, which really just means neither should be sleeping around with other people. I feel like I'm missing something here. Do people date with the intention of getting 'serious' right away? Expect to move in together after 3, 6, 12 months. Children soon after? What is the issue?

[oldskool83]

Actually, it IS hard.

not if theres comunication and flexibility.

[vashti]

not if theres comunication and flexibility.

???

You must not have kids.

[smackie9]

I'm staying out of this one, I don't have kids either....I can see how difficult it is...a lot of guys don't touch that.

[haxan]

Still confused. I'll ask again: what is it she isn't giving him? I just don't see how this is any different from a dating situation in terms of sex and companionship. If things evolve such that they decide to build a life together, can't they change their mind later? What's the hangup on the 'exclusive' label, which really just means neither should be sleeping around with other people. I feel like I'm missing something here. Do people date with the intention of getting 'serious' right away? Expect to move in together after 3, 6, 12 months. Children soon after? What is the issue?

Maybe I'm not reading enough, or too much into the OP's posts. I'm under the impression that she wants nothing more than to have sex with this man, when she wants, and for him to be exclusive for her. Maybe a relationship would develop, maybe not. I just don't see any reason to be exclusive there.

It's not an issue about being serious, moving in, or anything along those lines. There are a lot of single women out there in that age group (30-50, he's 40). From my pov, ok, we'll see how things go. We can be fwb, but, I still may want to meet new people and perhaps date them. Who knows, I may find someone that's a better fit for me, physically or otherwise, and move on. Why take those possibilities away to get exclusively laid once in awhile?

I just don't see the draw or the selling point for that, Indi. I'd rather keep my options available.

[IndiReloaded]

I'm under the impression that she wants nothing more than to have sex with this man, when she wants, and for him to be exclusive for her.

Okay, I guess I've misunderstood. If this is what she is asking for, then I agree its unreasonable. This is the female equivalent of what guys call a booty call, I think?

OP - the classic way to handle this is to buy the guy and apartment and pay for his upkeep. Then you can request exclusivity. My gen calls this having a mistress, when its a man keeping a woman. Not sure what the converse would be. A concubine? boytoy?

[cheekxs]

Oh my,is this porn?
i think you are old but still not mature.

All i see in your post is sex sex sex great sex sex sex.
Thts why what you guys have will never go further then sex sex sex.
Like you said he came back and you both picket up where you left it.So he keep you as sex toy and
did not bring a ring to put on your finger( make you his woman)!.

I cant see noting that u are interested to be treat like a woman and respect.
or serious relationship.

I think he knows that you are only good for sex, so he will keep using you for that.
And called you for some bullshit just to have you there for sex.

Look at your age and ask yourself do you want to end up alone with only memories about good sex?

[dktotz]

It seems that you miss the excitement and feeling of passion with him. That is very hard to control, just do it responsibly. (if possible)