Overthinking?

[IndiReloaded]

I think some will say that you should just chill and let things go as is however; to me that's short changing yourself and curtailing you from finding someone who has time for you and values you more than an occassional companion.

I agree with Wakeup. Sorry, but this guy is at best casually interested in you (i.e. he's not that into you). If you want more, you need to move on.

Guys who really like someone will hustle for them. Always, unless they are damaged or emo. Even the emo guys will chase. They'll just write you some bad poetry or a song.

[annabel]

I agree, I will try this. He has a lot of female friends it seems.
I am reaching the end of my tolerance now. I don't see this going anywhere when we don't spend real time together and I think he is happy with that. We don't speak on the phone (text only) and he doesn't want to be facebook friends (his last gf played games with it he says)

Thanks for the input

[IndiReloaded]

I agree, I will try this. He has a lot of female friends it seems

Watch out. This is a red flag for him being an attention whore. I have a friend like this. He's a decent, fun guy, but tends to be rather self-absorbed. If it weren't for the fact we've known each other for decades, I'd be warned off at first glance at his Little Black Facebook. There's a certain desperation to that kind of thing I find distasteful. I never post on his page, mind, but I do find it fascinating to watch the little chicks flutter at the crumbs. LOL.

[annabel]

Thanks for the advice!
I will back right off and see what happens.
Does not look good though..

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Yeah, it doesn't look good. It seems like he just ****s you twice a week, and if you want more than that, I doubt he's game.

[Maple1714]

Yeah, forget him. Move on...I say NEVER (this is just how I protect myself may not be how others view things) initiate the contact...let the guy come to you always. The ones who are really interested will Put you vagina up on a shelf and make them climb a ladder to get it lol. I learned this the hard way...I was like you, just out of a 4yr relationship (this was many years ago) and I started dating a guy who also worked at a bar/club. He has/had tons of female friends and girls loved him. After about 2-3 months he backed-off...said he didn't want a relationship. I was hurt of course...but I realized I was just playing it all wrong. I would contact him and I chased him...like every other girl in his life. Of course as soon as I got into a relationship and moved on, he started to contact me again. I ignored him. You also never want to be with someone who doesn't want you 100% when you are 100% available. Hope you meet a new guy very soon!

Also, you were not over thinking...that was your gut/women's intuition telling you something was off and it was....so whenever you feel like there is an imbalance, there probably is and you should move on at the first sign. If it's meant to be the guy will come find you.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Maple, I was starting to like you then you gotta go and spew some bullshit like this.

I used to wait girls like you out, see other chicks, and drop them once they give it up. I use the phrase, give it up, because you are using your pussy as a commodity, something to barter with. Girls who think like you deserve to get played. It was mean and I don't feel good about it(anymore) or continue to do it, but the ones I did it to definitely deserved it.

[Maple1714]

Maple, I was starting to like you then you gotta go and spew some bullshit like this.

I used to wait girls like you out, see other chicks, and drop them once they give it up. I use the phrase, give it up, because you are using your pussy as a commodity, something to barter with. Girls who think like you deserve to get played. It was mean and I don't feel good about it(anymore) or continue to do it, but the ones I did it to definitely deserved it.

Hahaha...Yeah I figured you would respond in some way to what I wrote. The thing is..."pussy" is a commodity...it's how new life is created and should be respected. So men need to work for it...just like females need to work on keeping their BF's happy once in a relationship. It's just a way to form an emotional bond/friendship first....before sleeping together, which I think is important. Why not make guys work for it?

I haven't been with many men at all really...and I form strong emotional bonds so for me to keep my "heart" I guess protected...I put that shit up on a shelf for safe keeping. Not to use it to get things or anything like that...I just think women should be careful who they "give it up" to is all...

[Maple1714]

Backup - I can pick out a guy like you from a mile away! I bet I could pick you out of a crowd! We do live in the same city after all, should we try?

[annabel]

Great insight guys! Thanks!
I am like you maple, I get attached quickly and this guy was saying all the right things etc... but I notice time spent together Is on his schedule and it's getting boring.

[annabel]

So when I get back from vacation do you think I should text? He said he doesn't want to bother me while away. And said to let him know when I'm back...

[Maple1714]

So when I get back from vacation do you think I should text? He said he doesn't want to bother me while away. And said to let him know when I'm back...

No, don't text him. He knows how long you are gone for right? He knows how to contact you...let him text you. Seems like you have done enough initiating and it's been almost 3 months so he needs to show you more initiative/interest since you already expressed that's what you want. When you get back in town, go hang out with some friends...maybe male friends? Go out and do stuff to keep your mind off of contacting him. A good way to not contact him is to delete his number from your phone, but write it down somewhere at home if you want...so you wont be tempted to text him when you are drunk or something.

[Maple1714]

He said he doesn't want to bother me while away. And said to let him know when I'm back...

...he sounds exactly like the guy I was seeing way back...he always leaves the ball in your court b/c that way he doesn't feel so guilty about just wanting sex from you. No matter what Backup says, sex/seduction/a vagina is a powerful tool for women...it's one thing we have over men...they want it and we have it. Holding out is just a way to figure out what a guys true intentions are that is all...not to get free dinners etc...which is what some women use this power for and that is lame.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Hahaha...Yeah I figured you would respond in some way to what I wrote. The thing is..."pussy" is a commodity...it's how new life is created and should be respected. So men need to work for it...just like females need to work on keeping their BF's happy once in a relationship. It's just a way to form an emotional bond/friendship first....before sleeping together, which I think is important. Why not make guys work for it?

I haven't been with many men at all really...and I form strong emotional bonds so for me to keep my "heart" I guess protected...I put that shit up on a shelf for safe keeping. Not to use it to get things or anything like that...I just think women should be careful who they "give it up" to is all...

Now you're getting somewhere. Your heart is the prize to be won, not your pussy. There's nothing wrong with being careful, but treating it the way you do(and maybe you articulating it poorly), makes it seem like a game and the pussy is the goal. Once it's attained, that's game over. I also seriously doubt you'd be able to 'pick me out', since I go into things with pure intentions, and I genuinely prefer to be in an LTR. It's just once I sense game playing, all bets are off..and my behavior does not change.

[Maple1714]

Now you're getting somewhere. Your heart is the prize to be won, not your pussy. There's nothing wrong with being careful, but treating it the way you do(and maybe you articulating it poorly), makes it seem like a game and the pussy is the goal. Once it's attained, that's game over. I also seriously doubt you'd be able to 'pick me out', since I go into things with pure intentions, and I genuinely prefer to be in an LTR. It's just once I sense game playing, all bets are off..and my behavior does not change.

Yes, I did articulate it wrong...and in my mind my pussy is the key to my heart lol. Oh, I could pick you out I am sure of it..but whatever.