60 day he-tox

[Wakeup]

Gosh. it's harder to get to indifference when you can't stop seeing him. You really have to do the mental work needed. Its like having to keep seeing an ex you share children with when you're still in love with them but you had to leave because of one too many deal breakers or something.

There's no fellow nurse or best female friend that can give you the support you need, Vashti?

[KingZ]

Guns are for simpletons.

[smackie9]

So rocket launchers then? or sharks with frickin lasers...

[misombra]

::hugs::

I wish I was there to take you out for margaritas.

[vashti]

There's no fellow nurse or best female friend that can give you the support you need, Vashti?

Not in the middle of the night. My daughter gets seizures - really big ones. The worst of them are triggered by the shower.

[IndiReloaded]

Seriously. Delete it. Mine called me the other night. Since my son was with me (i.e. knew there was no emergency), I just deleted the message. From now on, its in writing by email only.

If its not something you would tolerate 20 years from now, don't put up with it now. Flip the switch, Vash. You've paid your asshole dues and then some.

[haxan]

You just have to understand that none of the attention is sincere, it's just an ego thing. If you can look in the mirror and still be sucked back in, then I don't what else to give you for advice. Do better for yourself, nothing more to say.

[smackie9]

Keep reminding yourself of all the bad stuff about him, see him in a different light. You know in your heart you deserve better.... Indi is right it's time to flip the switch and start letting go. Get a good hate on him going, it will keep you strong.

[Kiechi]

Vashti --- Lucky guy! Do you mind me asking why he isn't good for you?

[Boisdevie]

Sorry to hear that Vash. I'll send you a virtual hug.

[vashti]

Vashti --- Lucky guy! Do you mind me asking why he isn't good for you?

He's unable to commit to either keeping me, or letting me go. I know he cares a great deal for me (and he also cares about my daughter), and he comes close to begging me not to cut him out of my life (with or without sex), but he needs too much attention from other women to boost his sagging ego. I have so many other serious things to worry about, that quite frankly, I don't usually have the energy to play the games one is expected to engage in when dating, and besides, I'm too old to play them, anyway. I think this may be somewhat of a cultural matter; he is Chilean, and the Chilean women I know have told me that this is the way those men are, especially the handsome ones (which he is).

About the target shooting: it turns out I am a pretty decent shot. %

[Hotaru]

"He-tox", I like that. Inspiring thread, truly. I'm glad you didn't cry today. =)

[IndiReloaded]

He sounds broken Vash. Put him where the rest of the broken ones go. Don't do this to yourself again, you deserve better. No more assholes. Its not fair to the nice non-asshole guys who are out there.

[vashti]

He's definitely broken, he can't seem to get over his ex wife leaving him. Combined with his father leaving the family when he was young, he has a huge fear of abandonment, and so tries to avoid any deep attachments.

He's taught me a lot about my own psychological pathology, though. As much as everyone bags on Wakeup for her constant talk of codependence, I have to admit that this is me. I have a deep underlying need to care for broken people, often at the expense of caring for myself. I am working on this. ((I still hate the term "codependent" though.)

Half of my last post disappeared when I edited it last night, but I wanted to thank all you regulars for being my soundingboard, and I wanted to thank KingZ and innocentman for not trolling me about this just yet. I can usually take it, but would rather not just now.

[vashti]

You just have to understand that none of the attention is sincere, it's just an ego thing. If you can look in the mirror and still be sucked back in, then I don't what else to give you for advice. Do better for yourself, nothing more to say.

My response to this was the part that must have been deleted in error. Anyway, you are right that I need to stop allowing myself to be sucked in, but I don't think it would be accurate to say none of the attention is sincere. Many of his friends and family members have told me he talks about me all the time, and tells them he loves me. (He's told me this a few times, too.) My life is somewhat complicated due to medical issues, and I don't think someone who didn't really have SOME level of care would have held on this long. It would have been too easy to bow out a long time ago.