I still love him.

[lulalace]

Thanks fellows. I most certainly won't be jumping into any relationship when/if this one ends. I think it is best to end it now. Even if I figure out that I do in fact want to stay with my current partner, but at the minute it doesn't look good.
I mentioned it to him this evening when he did his usual being obnoxious about nothing at all. I told him I was sick of it and that I thought we had nowhere to go from here anymore. He said that I was a nasty b***h. Which angered me to a point as I think I only ever get mean during arguments after he had been way out of line. I'm not saying I am never wrong, but I would never intentionally be nasty for no reason, when he is on a regular basis.

To him, I am the mon to fri girlfriend. Comfortable, in the house, having dinner, lighting the fire and watching a film. Come the weekend, I don't get a look in. It's off out to drink, be with all out mates and dare I ask to come along once in a blue moon. When I do suggest going out for once, I'm a "needy" and "can't be without him". Jesus. As if. I long for the nights that he goes out so I can actually get some work done. (I work from home a lot of the time.) On average, I go out once every 3 months possibly. He's out at least once a week if not twice and if I ever ask to go out... I'm fobbed off with excuses of how it's normal for couples to spend time apart. That's a given! Who doesn't know that. But you think that asking once, having to ask at all is madness to me, out of 30 times would be allowed.

I'm ranting here. I'm just angry that he paints me as a nasty, needy so and so when I couldn't be more independent these days if I tried. He's just quite happy to have me there as the comfort factor, but act single at the weekend when he wants to have fun. That is not a relationship. I do not know one other couple, where one actually tells the other, week in and out, that they are NOT ALLOWED to come out with them. Am I insane? We have mutual friends that I never get to see as they are always in the same company, so he takes the weekend and the friends all to himself cos I am not allowed be there. You could understand if most of these instances were lads nights out, but all the girls are there too.

This is just one in a long list of things he does that makes him totally the wrong person for me.

I do need a break from him. But I don't see it returning. Maybe. Who knows. Maybe I am just caught up in this fantasy world with my ex as we get on so well. There is no problems there with him. He's so easy going, and lovely and we would never fight. The only things we fought about were my insecurities when I was younger. I would NEVER be like that now.

This guy I'm with. Just an all round a**hole. Most of the negatives were clouded when I was in the honey moon phase with him. I was very much attracted to him, but now, it's just..all I can see is how mean and rotten he is most of the time. He's not a totally horrible person obviously, but when he comes to relationships, he must wonder why he never lasts too long in them either. His last one lasted almost as long as mine did my with ex and he cheated on her the entire time. Right from the start. And of course, she was a "nasty piece of work" too. Nothing to do with the fact that he cheated and treated her like a walking bank.

Eurgh. Even though I mentioned tonight about us being done, he jus
t sat there and watched tv for an hour and then went to bed. This happens every time I try and bring something up. We had a spat about 3 weeks ago, and every time I tried to talk about it, he went out for a drink, or ignored me. Even though he was the one that said we needed to address things.
I need it to be done tomorrow. It's only going to get worse and more hate filled.

[michelle23]

Id get rid of him. Why does he always want to go out without you? That sounds suspicious to me...