Why is he doing this? Is he really over it all?

[toknow]

I would do anything for him.

Then do at least something. People throw these words around like a ping-pong, but no one really backs it up with actions.

There are so many ways to show him your love, use your imagination. At the least go to his house and ask to talk to him. If he doesn't want to see you wait for him outside for hours if you have to. But, I bet you, you will not have to wait long. He will be touched by it, you have no idea how little you have to do to get him back.

[michelle23]

All relationships have there ups and downs, good times and bad, rough patches, feelings of doubt, being unsure how much you really love each other at times etc.. The point is you both have to be strong and let these things pull you closer. Him moving into his mothers was a bad move-immature and selfish. He took the easy way out instead of staying and fighting for the women he loves. Now he is pretending to be some sort of victim.

It IS ridiculous. Sorry OP but it sounds like he has a lot to learn about real life, real relationships and needs to grow up.

Like I said already-if you really love each other, only a few things should be able to split you up-such as being a serial killer, a cheat, or being nasty to his family or being abusive towards him...

[michelle23]

Then do at least something. People throw these words around like a ping-pong, but no one really backs it up with actions.

There are so many ways to show him your love, use your imagination. At the least go to his house and ask to talk to him. If he doesn't want to see you wait for him outside for hours if you have to. But, I bet you, you will not have to wait long. He will be touched by it, you have no idea how little you have to do to get him back.

Doing things like that are just plain creepy. He asked for space. Send him a rose in the post if you feel the need to do something nice for him and just a card saying "i love you"

[Amb]

begging, apologizing, clinging and hoping will just push him further away. He cant have both space and love. He can choose one or the other. He is being childish. He needs to grow the f up before he loses you for good. If he is being this ridiculous-give him an ultimatum. How the hell are you supposed to prove anything if he wont come back. He hasnt even given you a chance to try and talk openly. I think you have done all you can and it is not fair for him to punish you this way.

you are not a serial killer, you did not cheat on him, you didn't call his mother a cow. you never set out to hurt him. He needs to grow a pair and stop acting like a big girls blouse

I wish someone besides me would tell him that. He needs a reality check. I think he will realize when it is too late if ever. I feel sad for both of us. Nothing in life is guaranteed. I believe it is up to us to make it what we want it to be in any situation. He lets life get the best of him.

[Amb]

Doing things like that are just plain creepy. He asked for space. Send him a rose in the post if you feel the need to do something nice for him and just a card saying "i love you"

In a way I feel like he wants me to do this. It is strange and leaves me confused. I guess it happens sometimes.

[toknow]

If he thinks it's creepy, then he doesn't love her. You will only think something like that is creepy if you are not close to the person who does it.

I'm starting to think he is right. I'm telling you exactly how you can fix this in no time, but you are resisting it. It might be your pride, but pride has no place in a relationship (not to be confused with dignity - pride is selfish and stupid, dignity is pure). Love and pride are two completely different things, love gets rid of your pride. If you are prideful, then you are lacking love and you don't deserve a real relationship because you should never put your pride before your relationship.

If you don't get him back it will be your loss, not his. He is rare especially among guys.

[michelle23]

Just give him some space and time OP. He may come back but if he doesn't just realize it wasn't meant to be. I went through a period of doubts with my partner-I was so confused and I told him I'm not sure what I want but I will figure it out. We stayed together (living together)-he didn't bring it up again-just left me to my thoughts while he was secretly having inner anxiety attacks. Poor thing.. He was deeply hurt and terrified of losing me but he stayed strong and was there each day for me and then I realized I love him more than anything and want to spend the rest of my life with him and were great again now. He couldn't be happier. I felt very guilty for a long time for putting him through that-I still do now sometimes but he has forgiven me and understands so I need to forgive myself.

At the time I was very unhappy, confused because someone close to me died and I shut down emotionally. I was numb and I couldn't feel anything-just going through the motions but once I started to come out of the grief-all that love came rushing back.

In your situation-its a little different. But you and he had to get used to a big change very soon in the relationship. You have to go through the doubts (weigh up the pros and cons) before you are ready to really commit 100%. That is normal.

I heard this thing before that when a man is stressed he needs to back away but when women are stressed we want to talk. So the whole time he is building up a wall around himself-she is banging on the door and this is the beginning of the end. That is why I am saying just give him space and if its meant to be, it will be

[Amb]

All relationships have there ups and downs, good times and bad, rough patches, feelings of doubt, being unsure how much you really love each other at times etc.. The point is you both have to be strong and let these things pull you closer. Him moving into his mothers was a bad move-immature and selfish. He took the easy way out instead of staying and fighting for the women he loves. Now he is pretending to be some sort of victim.

It IS ridiculous. Sorry OP but it sounds like he has a lot to learn about real life, real relationships and needs to grow up.

Like I said already-if you really love each other, only a few things should be able to split you up-such as being a serial killer, a cheat, or being nasty to his family or being abusive towards him...

This is exactly how I feel. I am trying to understand the way he perceives everything. You can't make someone believe what you believe or know what you know.

[michelle23]

If he thinks it's creepy, then he doesn't love her. You will only think something like that is creepy if you are not close to the person who does it.

I'm starting to think he is right. I'm telling you exactly how you can fix this in no time, but you are resisting it. It might be your pride, but pride has no place in a relationship (not to be confused with dignity - pride is selfish and stupid, dignity is pure). Love and pride are two completely different things, love gets rid of your pride. If you are prideful, then you are lacking love and you don't deserve a real relationship because you should never put your pride before your relationship.

I think you are being unfair to her here. Pride is not holding her back. He told her to give him space, he wont answer his phone, he wont talk to her, hes ignoring her texts. She has tried so many times. now it is his turn.

[Amb]

If he thinks it's creepy, then he doesn't love her. You will only think something like that is creepy if you are not close to the person who does it.

I'm starting to think he is right. I'm telling you exactly how you can fix this in no time, but you are resisting it. It might be your pride, but pride has no place in a relationship (not to be confused with dignity - pride is selfish and stupid, dignity is pure). Love and pride are two completely different things, love gets rid of your pride. If you are prideful, then you are lacking love and you don't deserve a real relationship because you should never put your pride before your relationship.

If you don't get him back it will be your loss, not his. He is rare especially among guys.

You sound like him. I know I could do all that. It gives me temporary relief because when we so see each other I can feel that he loves me. Then he goes right back in his shell. It is hard to deal with it. I could stalk him but what good would it do (sarcasm). I know he is rare. I have truly never met anyone like him. He makes me feel so special. I didn't appreciate it and he is making sure I feel all the pain.

[toknow]

You can only lead a horse to water...

I think I've done all I can to help you, but I don't see any response, so I will withdraw.

PS I said it's your loss, not his, not because you are not a good catch, but because you are the cause of it ending and because you will have a hard time finding someone who will relate to you on a deep emotional level.

[michelle23]

Do what you feel is best OP. I think you have already done enough and I think if he really loves you-he will come back.

[Amb]

You can only lead a horse to water...

I think I've done all I can to help you, but I don't see any response, so I will withdraw.

I understand where you are coming from. I appreciate your help as well. I could have done that when he left that first weekend and I think everything would have been ok. I was being prideful then. I was confused. I wish I would have done that gone to his house and talked. I didn't. It has been some time since he left. He took everything already. He has made it clear he can't be around me. I believe he is being prideful now.

[Amb]

Thanks everyone for your insight.

[Amb]

You can only lead a horse to water...

I think I've done all I can to help you, but I don't see any response, so I will withdraw.

PS I said it's your loss, not his, not because you are not a good catch, but because you are the cause of it ending and because you will have a hard time finding someone who will relate to you on a deep emotional level.

I know this. It makes it all the worse.