Is my boyfriend gay?

[Rowen]

Never mind the other reasons. If one of his favorite movies is Brokeback Mountain and he saw it a while back, this is a red flag.
...
It could be he is bi.

Are you kidding me? LMAO Oh, yes, of course you're not, because we all know the gay community banded together and specifically had Hollywood make that movie for the mission of exposing all the secret gay men acting straight and turn the other straight guys gay. Rofl

(I'm sorry; I couldn't resist a sarcastic comeback.)

sneaky, secretive with his phone, lots of female friends, male grooming...

cheat: That is where I got my opinion from:

- He has female friends, older and his age, not super attractive but he really get along with them super well
- He has some friends who are long time bachelors.
- I feel that he is secretive and always keeps his cell phone with him, the ring off when I'm with him.
- He has always been very romantic with me, offering gifts and sending me text messages every day.

I wouldn't say this necessarily means he's out sleeping around. Here's how I see it:
1. Phones are personal property. If someone took my phone without asking me and randomly started looking around on it, I would be a little upset, myself, and I have nothing to hide. Think about it: how would you like it if someone took your phone and read all of your personal conversations with your friend? Wouldn't you feel a teensy bit like your privacy has been invaded? Not to mention the fact that most phones today have internet. People access their Facebook, email, Twitter, etc etc all from their phones. A lot of the time, they have them synced so they don't need to enter their password every time. Now, imagine if you had it set up like that (which I imagine most of you do) and someone had the ability to access EVERYTHING. I'm talking about from every IM to every email. All of your personal thoughts between you and your friends... Like it or not, there should be a level of trust and PRIVACY in a relationship. If/when I get a boyfriend, I certainly will not tolerate it if he wants to read every tiny detail of every conversation I have with others... That's suffocating and it speaks to the level of trust in a relationship. Some things, like it or not, are meant to be private- not because we're hiding something but because we each need room to breathe. IF he was really trying to hide something, he'd use app locks and feature locks on his cell phone (assuming he has a smartphone). For example, there's one for Iphones that requires a password to view files such as pictures. If you get the password wrong, it takes your picture and saves it so the correct owner knows who tried breaking into their phone. I actually knew a guy with an Iphone that did that, and you know what the reason was? He was curious about men, and he didn't want his girlfriend to see that he was looking at gay porn.
2. Grooming is becoming a social trend. Most often, I hear about this in terms of men trying to give the appearance that they're larger than they actually are... It's an ego thing- nothing more. However, there are also those who prefer it just because it's easier to clean/cleaner. It reduces hairs on the bar soap... >.>
*coughs*Personally, I prefer guys natural, though.*coughs*
3. Why can't guys be friends with girls without all the shite drama that drives people bloody bonkers? Believe it or not, boys and girls, you can all be friends without sleeping together. Wow, a new concept, I know, but I assure you it's possible. Some women and girls like to be friends with men and boys for the simple reason that it's LESS drama. Sometimes, too, they just don't care what gender their friend is. I have friends too, and if I make a new friend, I don't care if they're a guy or a girl. And I certainly don't keep track of the number of each gender I have as a friend... It's the personality that matters, michelle...not the gender. I know a number of straight men who have many friends that are women (who are also straight, btw). They don't sleep together. And once again, there needs to be that level of trust in a relationship. From all she's described, there's nothing to suggest he's cheating on her. He's not calling her to say he'll be working late all week, has he?
4. Some people are happy being bachelors. It may sound crazy, but it's true. Relationships aren't for everyone; some people feel they like being alone and enjoying themselves rather than being with someone and enjoying themselves. It doesn't mean they're out sleeping with everyone in sight. So, should we really hold it against them for not really wanting a commitment?
5. I keep my cell phone with me at all times- pretty much because, once again, it's personal property. As for the ringer, this could be taken as a sign of respect. If I'm dating someone and spending time with them, I'm not going to be answering my phone unless it's important. It's the idea that you're giving that person your attention. Have you ever been on a date where someone spent more time on their cell phone than they spent talking to you? I have, and the guy answered a call on his phone RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of the movie theater AS we were watching the movie.
6. Some guys have a soft side for those they date, and they pour themselves out to that person. This involves gifts sometimes. It most often includes texts everyday. Believe it or not, sometimes people give gifts just to show they care...not because they're trying to hide something. I would be concerned if she said he gave her a heart shaped box of chocolates that was unwrapped with construction paper glued to the bottom...because then he'd be hiding that he got that box from someone else. (No joke- a guy at my high school got a box of chocolates from a girl with his name written on the bottom, and he glued on a piece of construction paper to cover it up so he could give it to another girl.)


Michelle, I'm sorry if I seem too blunt, but there needs to be a level of trust in a relationship. He was honest with her in bed about his fantasies- a state when a number of people let their guard down, in my experience. If he was sneaking around, why would he ever voice that? He'd be out having kinky sex behind her back- not telling her about it.
I know I sound like a prick, but yeah...

[mo487]

probably not gay but probably more of a freak then hes willing to share and is getting bored with the sex

[smackie9]

Thanks Rowen, well said.