She's over her daughters father but not over what he did to her

[smackie9]

Moe before you go pullin your weight around this guy, you need to discuss this with your GF first. You have been together for only 6 months, and not married so you need to be very careful about getting involved in their business. If anything goes negative with this, it could make things worse and her resentful of you. Tread carfully.

[basilandthyme]

Moe before you go pullin your weight around this guy, you need to discuss this with your GF first. You have been together for only 6 months, and not married so you need to be very careful about getting involved in their business. If anything goes negative with this, it could make things worse and her resentful of you. Tread carfully.

yes, yes, yes. I believe you have no business talking with this guy. Support your girlfriend and give her advice if she asks....but if you tell him how you want him to behave, it will very likely backfire.

[Wakeup]

^^ I agree with Smackie and B&T.

Are you her first boyfriend after leaving her baby-daddy, mo?

[mo487]

She has dated but I am her first relationship. I dont plan on taliking to him. I was more than willing to be civil when things got serious and talk to him so he can let out what he needs to about his daughter, out of respect to me. He turned me down and I was cool with it. since then he has disrespected my girl on three seperate occasions and me twice. He has shown e no respect when Ive done nothing to disrespect so now even if he ever wants to talk I dont feel the need to sice he has proven the respect cannot be mutual. When it comes to their daughter that is their business and I have never crossed that boundary nor plan on doing so. But when it comes to any man disrespeting the woman I love thaat is a different story. I do me very best to be respectful of everyone and do have a low tolerance for disrespect. I will always respect him as my girls daughters father but I owe him nothing else. Because her daughter has been speaking about me and he has been asking questions about me im sure he will ask to talk to me and I refuse to do so until he can show that respect can be mutual.
I have been told mostly by people close to him the he is arrgant hot headed and has a bad attitude. Ive been told that he wil be rude and disrespectful if we spoke and to not even talk to him. knowing myself and the way i can get when pushed I choose to not get involved. His own family has told me not to bother with him. If he cannot show me respect then there will be a greater issue then necessary and its not worth it.
My main concern is how he speaks and treats my girl because in turn that effects me.

[basilandthyme]

Mo, I understand that you are concerned about how he speaks to your girlfriend. However, as frustrating as it is, she's the only one who can address this.

Thing is, he's mean to her and she's spiteful and blaming in return. They are feeding each other's hatred. This isn't going to end anytime soon unless she changes how she deals with him.

[Wakeup]

Yep: I'm afraid you're probably in for a long bout of drama. Add Spite + Meaness and it equals = Unresolved Ex Baggage and usually someone who isn't yet ready to be in a relationship.

Good luck with all of it. I hope it works out for you particularily for the little girls sake so that she's not seeing different men come in an out of her life as a steady diet.

[smackie9]

Ya I agree with all that is said here. It's a tough pill to swallow when it comes to someone you care about. She would benefit more if you just supported her emotionally and you kept your nose out of it.