Friends with benefits to girlfriend...

[Love'sReject]

Please take into consideration that LovesREJECT has aptly named himself for good reason. ;o)

Chris: If you're going to pine away for her while being her friend and thus stagnate yourself from finding another girl that actually wants you for more then a human dildo, then NO do not continue to be her friend.

I repeat:

OI! Dammit. Lol, I was saying basically what you would've said.

Anyway, bro; it's a broad's job to confuse sex with wanting a relationship. Either keep pumping the bird or go separate ways but do not tell her you want more. There's no way she does and you'll just look like a bitch.

[Wakeup]

Get rid of her for goodness sakes. Either that or just use each other for sex. YOU have to decide what you can handle and still be in control with. You don't want to lose your own control to someone who has told you they don't want to be in a relationship with you... that is detrimental to your own emotional health. Simply tell her "no thanks" when she invites you out and don't tell her anything. If she asks why you've gotten cold on her then tell her then.

[Wakeup]

OI! Dammit. Lol, I was saying basically what you would've said.

Anyway, bro; it's a broad's job to confuse sex with wanting a relationship. Either keep pumping the bird or go separate ways but do not tell her you want more. There's no way she does and you'll just look like a bitch.

You know I can't resist negging you when you give "love" advice.

[Love'sReject]

'Eh, I'll have you know I'm an expert...in theory.

[chris09]

alright so let me get this straight. i shouldnt confront her with what i feel until she asks? or should i just go over there and tell her face to face tonight?

[bearz]

There's three options right now:

1) You say nothing and keep banging her. Chances of you getting hurt further down the road and wasting your time are pretty high. In fact, if she told you the truth beforehand, chances of you being screwed are close to 100%.

2) You tell her that this isn't working out for you anymore, and just leave it at that. Stop seeing her and move on. Best thing you can do for yourself.

3) You tell her how you actually feel and see what she has to say. Again, chances of you getting what you're hoping for are pretty slim but it might give you some closure so you can move on knowing that she really doesn't want more than just sex.

[Wakeup]

alright so let me get this straight. i shouldnt confront her with what i feel until she asks? or should i just go over there and tell her face to face tonight?

I'm telling you to do what makes you believe that you are the one in control. In situations like this, the one that cares the less has the most power. Right now, she does because she isn't emotionally involved (you're the one that is that) so do what makes you feel like the one who calls the shots when it comes whats best for YOU.

If telling her outright that you don't want anything else to do with her does the trick then do that. If just not bothering with her until she calls you gives you the power, then do that. I can't tell you what to do.. only the scenerios that are available to do.

[chris09]

ok i will be doing one of those things tonight. keep ya posted!

[FlaCooln]

Dude, enjoy the FWB while it lasts. I have been in this situation before a few times and it is best to just have fun and not worry about labels. There is also a chance that after a few weeks she becomes attached and wants more. Also, since she is inviting you out take that as a good sign.

Just don't complicate things and go with the flow. If you can't then tell her so, and move on.

[chris09]

ok thank you. i think im just going to let it be for a little while longer then ill see whats going on then. thank you very much FlaCooln!!

[Wakeup]

As a woman, let me tell you that just because she's asking you out, does not mean its a "good sign" in that she'd want anything else but sex with you. Women can have male girlfriends without becoming emotionally attached.. particularily women who can be the first to say, lets just keep this at sex because I don't want a boyfriend.

Play it by ear.. yes. However; don't have any expectation that this is going to turn around in your favour. She has no reason to turn it around if you're being her emotional tampon, hangout buddy and human dildo, now does she?

Zero Expectations and if you're just going to go with the flow then have zero bonding rituals like hanging out, cuddling, sleeping over with her in the same bed... none of that or she'll screw with your emotional state but good.

[chris09]

I see what your saying. i see that there is probably zero use in pursuing and keeping this thing we have going. Im just not sure what to do at the moment.

[Wakeup]

Then maybe do nothing until you figure it out but while you're doing nothing, step back from your own emotions and decide with unbiased logic what's best for you.

[basilandthyme]

Chris, I keep reading the word 'confront' in your messages. To confront someone is to take an aggressive stance against what they are doing. There is no need for confrontation here.

All you need to do is tell her that this casual arrangement won't work for you and that you need to move on.

[chris09]

alright thank you. i guess i didnt mean confront i meant like talking. im thinking its probably best to just sit down and talk to her tonight maybe. i no its gonna hurt but itll probably be better in the long run.