Urgh.

[stormdrain]

Jup, right on all accounts. She has a few symptoms of several personality disorders, but in the end you're right to say it doesn't really matter.

[stormdrain]

Double post.

[Valixy]

This relationship seems to be challenging your entire evolution, personal and professional and it's quite amazing how much of yourself you've been able to give to make it work. If this is karma, then you're likely to have attracted some dharma by now as rewards are also part of the universal balance.

The question if someone's psychological make-up can prevent him/her from loving or if the root of the problems is simple lack of love, it's part of all relationships when difficulties appear, I suppose. Maybe that's why therapy succeeds to help some but not all the couples.

A few years ago I met someone who resembles your wife. In the end her noble partner had to balance the possibility that maybe she loved him but her negative psychological traits were affecting her and their relationship beyond the bearable limits or that she wasn't putting too much effort in the relationship because she simply didn't love him enough, leaving aside some psychological problems she had. It turned out to be the second one because she started a relationship with another guy at some point when breaking-up became easier for both of them. This second relationship was still pretty chaotic but she showed much more enthusiasm and dedication than in the previous one.

Hopefully you won't need to ponder on things like this anymore and your holiday will succeed to create the connection you're looking for and you'll both be able to maintain it. All the best.

[stormdrain]

Thanks, but at this rate it will be a small miracle if we make it to the holiday. I've reached the point where I've simply had enough, whatever the reasons. Today she has the chance to show me a hint of courtesy in this whole affair she has going, but it looks like I will not even get that. And in that case, it's over for me. Vacation or not.

[michelle23]

She has been caught, shes not sorry, shes rubbing it in your face and has no intention of breaking up with him to save your marriage. What is left to save?