My Gf lost her sex "interest"

[pcmaster]

How excatly did you lost sex drive Basil? What was wrong?

[searock]

Thanks for such great replies guys (and girls ) .. I did talk to her trust me, in the beggining we had lots of foreplay, I am all about foreplay trust me, Ill to anything to a woman, and she did reach her orgasm (by fingering, kissing, grinding against each other) and she was rly into that before.. but now even that is gone, and she realizes she has a serious problem, she even told me so .. like " i dunno wtf is wrong with me, i hope this is just a period " but she doesnt even want to have any foreplay or nothing, she wont get wet, nothing! She completely lost that "hornyness" if you can call it that, but she wasnt very into sex even before that

Have you asked her if she would consider seeing a sex therapist - perhaps with you? It seems like she is aware of the problem and would like to fix it (which is great), so maybe she would agree to that. I think it would help, as I said her symptoms indicate some sort of psychological block.

IF, of course, she actually is still into you. Otherwise, it just means that she isn't aroused by you anymore, and there's nothing either of you can do.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

Just save yourself the frustration and dump her. No amount of therapy is going to make her pussy wet.

[Wakeup]

Is this the only girl you've had this kind of trouble with or have there been others that have been dry when you went in for the "kill" so to speak?

I think this may be a problem of not feeling comfortable or safe enough with you in order for her to relax. If she says it hurts her, then you need to apply lots of lube to your unit and you need to go slow while making her feel safe that you're doing your best not to hurt her again. If sex hurts her, then it's no wonder that she'd rather not bother with it.

She may be so uptight that her vagina muscles are locking ~ there's a name for it but i'll have to google it.

I agree with Backup though, if you can't get her to relax with you then I'd say you'd be better off finding someone who you're intune with in bed and letting her go to work on her sexual response with someone more patient and willing to teach.

[Wakeup]

Here is a link to the term for pain during intercourse. You might gently suggest she see her doctor who will refer her to a gynocologist to figure out if it's anything psysiological or psychological even.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/painful-intercourse/DS01044

"dyspareunia" If there's a name for it then it's not all that uncommon.

To add:

I almost forgot, she mentioned yesterday she will get off birth control pills soon... could that be the problem at the moment?

Get her to go to the doctor. Her pill strength was probably too strong for her. That alone could affect her libido. If she's coming off the pill you best make sure you always wear a rubber which will mean you really need to be generous with the WATER-based lube.

[niceguy911]

I dont know man... I love this girl. Today we had another conversation, I told her before that maybe the birth control pills could be the problem, I researched a bit on the internet and its a high possibilty that could be the issue, and she told me after she finishes it she will give it a try without. I know she wants to fix the problem, shes also desperate. I tought about some things also.. so, last time we had sex was in early february, and I remember she was rly depressed from then till a while back (school, exams, she was sick all the time, all in all.. she was always in a bad mood) but now shes slowly starting to cheer up abit in life, since she has no exams till june (last one) and the weather is gonna be great, and I will try to spend alot of time with her.. and after that if I dont see a change in our sexual life I think is the safe thing to let her go.

a part of me (the live life to the max part of me) is saying leave her, enjoy life, party, meet new girls... but Im just so damn inexperienced with relationships, I dont know when im gonna be able to find a new girl (I live in a small town, everyone knows everyone.. so its hard to find a nice girl)

[niceguy911]

thanks for reply, so to clarify some things;

I had "normal sex" with her in early february, she was very wet then, and I also made her orgasm before I wanted to put it in .. but after that sex, we didnt have sex for like a month or so, and then I kinda "forced" (but not in a physical way) and then she wasnt wet.. that was the first time she wasnt wet.

[pcmaster]

If you said she was laughting at you while ya tried to start sex that means she have no respect for you anymore. So she dont look at you like a serious man.

[niceguy911]

since then I didnt even try to have sex... because I know it wont happen... everytime we had sex, she kinda started the foreplay.. and if the foreplay happens I know im gonna get it , but thats the thing... we only cuddle and talk now, no foreplay (she gives me handjobs every now and then when im horny.. which im all the time lol)

[Wakeup]

If you said she was laughting at you while ya tried to start sex that means she have no respect for you anymore. So she dont look at you like a serious man.

Hardly! It means nothing of the sort. Giggling is often a big part of pre-sexual fun.

[niceguy911]

If you said she was laughting at you while ya tried to start sex that means she have no respect for you anymore. So she dont look at you like a serious man.

she only started to "giggle" when I stripped her down and tried to penetrate her vagina.. like out of shameness or something.

[Wakeup]

Get her to go to the doctors. Start there and make sure its nothing physical causing it.

[basilandthyme]

How excatly did you lost sex drive Basil? What was wrong?

my ex lost all his fun. He became negative, anti social and hermit-like. He stopped caring for his appearance. I recall going to the movies by myself because he wouldn't even leave the house for a date.....let alone give me company while I was doing the groceries.

When I lost the emotional attraction to him, the physical attraction stopped dead.

I recall talking to a young friend a while ago who had dumped her boyfriend. I asked why and she replied "I didn't want to have sex with him anymore". I wish I'd figured it out so early instead of spending years seeing therapists trying to work out why my sex drive had gone. I honestly had no idea that it was related to how I felt about him emotionally.

[pcmaster]

Thats pretty much common reason.. Its like "do more be more" only oposite. Lazyness is what kills most longterm relationships. Had no idea how emotionaly females pussy works before this threat. Old saying proven right - The most sensitive organ in sex are brains.

Thank you for sharing your story Basil !

[michelle23]

If its not the birth control pills-its either that she just has a problem with sex or that she doesnt feel safe or comfortable with you.
It sounds to me like your not doing anything wrong. Id say she is just one of those women who either has a low sex drive or she has issues with sex and intimacy. The reason i think that is coz you havnt been together that long and it really is too soon for sex to be an issue.

If it is the pill-she may be fine after awhile but i doubt it. When shes not in the mood she just says flat out no ad doesnt even bothr trying which says to me she has issues with sex.