Complicated relationship with a dancer

[HeartIsAching]

Oh I admit I have serious self-esteem and insecurity issues. I've had counseling recommended to me by several other people but that's a lot of money to pay to sit and talk to someone asking me probing questions about my childhood.

Yet you'll spend it on a stripper you'll never get to boink? Weird.

[michelle23]

these girls do normally have a lot of baggage and issues. a lot of them hate men and find it difficult to be in any sort of healthy relationship.

you have become emotionally attached and ann is right about addiction. it is not healthy OP. i wonder have you ever had a real gf?

i am not saying there awful people or anything-no offence to strippers but shes only friendly towards you coz shes paid to be. shes friendly to every client she rubs up against. its her job. you have issues

[michelle23]

lol i was thinking the same thing as HIA. it would be far more constructive to spend money on a counsellor than on a stripper haha!

OP im not saying you are repulsive-im saying she prob thinks you are. she prob thinks all the men who go there are. y do you think most those girls shove cocaine up their nose or a pill down their throat just to get through another night? it is repulsive.

do you like the thought of a girl bouncing all over you after shes done the same thing with a million other blokes? if you dont find that repulsive than i cant help you..

[nathoonder]

@Ann, I feel like she's real with me. She doesn't do the smiley sugar stripper act with me like she does with other customers. She talks about what she does outside of work, she bitches about other dancers etc. What do you mean my the exchange of money question? I give her money while she's on stage and after she gives me private dances.

@Vince Hopefully it's the latter and I'd have no problem with her keeping her current job.

@Heart I gave her my number a long time ago, maybe I've changed her mind.

[HeartIsAching]

LOL, ok. You're not here to get opinions, you're here to get yours validated. S'ok, we see it all the time.

[michelle23]

ya its pointless asking for advice if your not gonna listen to any of it.

the only reason she talks to you that way is coz shes used to you. god i work as a store mansger-i have friendly chats with my customers all the time and treat them nicely. doesnt mean i wana date them..

[nathoonder]

@Heart, at least I enjoy myself when I'm with her, can't say the same for a counselor.

@Michelle, I'd be more than happy to accept her and love her with all of her baggage and issues. I've never actually had a girlfriend before for what that's worth. Yeah she's paid to be friendly but nobody told her she had to be my friend on facebook you know? That was totally on her own admonition. And again, why would she do that if she thought I was repulsive? She doesn't seem like she's on drugs and I really really wouldn't care about her dancing for other blokes.

[michelle23]

ok then. all i can say is good luck.

[nathoonder]

@Heart not entirely so, I've taken all opinions into consideration. Seems like everyone has a pretty abysmal out look on my relationship with her, but all I can do is keep trying and hope for the best. I don't really want to be with anyone else.

[HeartIsAching]

Tell ya what then, you should just ask her straight out:

"Am I just a client to you, or something more? I want this to progress."

See what she says.

[pcmaster]

Say one night that you dont have any money - see how friendly she will be and how she let you to touch her. Could take you back to reality.

See OP its her job, that means she have 10 and hundreats of clients. Yes you might be special but still like 1% of her life. Now you dont dance with hundreats of girls and when theres nothing then just a little is everything. Shes your everything while you are nothing to her. And she should pay you for listening to that BS she says you - she might use you as emotional tampon. Sluts charge for it(listening) at same rate as sex. Its very good that you are optimistic just this might not be the right women to be optimidtic with.

How much money you spend on her? You actually feel like you invested and that makes you atracted even more. Seriously you need help dude. If not counselling(what will help yoou for sure) then at least consider wingman, dating coatch, pickup artist - someone who can teach you have to pick up womens, get dates etc.

This alone can change your life - sashapua.com

[michelle23]

its pointless-just start telling him what he wants to hear.

he can be her knight in shining armour who whisks her off her feet and theyl sail off into the sunset together

[Starnique]

Dancers are people, too. It's possible that you might date her and get into a relationship. But it is entirely possible that she would rather just have you as a regular customer. And don't even dream of getting her to quit her job, she probably makes more money than most people, and certainly more than she can probably make with a normal job. And if you can't deal with the idea of a girlfriend who works as a dancer, stripping in front of strangers all the time, then just move on.

This is the best advice about dancers on here. Totally rolling my eyes at the rest.

She may not be into you. You have to get a little more into the situation to find out. If a chick, dancer or not meets a guy she likes whether she meets him in a club or not, there's going to be some actions indicating whether she see's him as a customer or someone she genuinely likes. Of course she is still going to take the money when she's at work and he comes to see her. It doesn't seem she knows you all that well to give you a freebie. Get with her outside of the club and if you're still paying then you will know your position with her.

[pcmaster]

Reminds me story where wife was having sex with her husband for the money. One night hubby was 2$ short to afford sex and he went to sleep. After a while he hear something in the dark - it was wife searching in her purse for 2$ to lend him.

[michelle23]

we dont mean any offence starnique-were just being realistic. your own personal reltionship is v destructive-even caused you to threaten some whore with a knife. you no yourself thats not good