My girlfriend wants a threesome

[VincenzoG91]

Her particular threesome scenario sounds like it would mainly just be fun for her. In general, I think that a threesome could be fun at the time but ultimately will tend to wreck any normal committed relationship. I'm sure there are happy swingers that don't have any problems with threesomes, but for normal couples with normal feelings of jealousy, it's a bad idea.

[John903]

I don't want to touch the other girl. The current rules as she had them are how i really would like it if we were to do it. I only am interested in my girl not some random person.

[michelle23]

It will upset you and make you jealous and insecure. You already know it will. Ask yourself is it worth it. Whether you do it or not-I think you and she will break up anyway so you might as well just break up now.

[stev123]

OP is a cuckold

[Wakeup]

I don't want to touch the other girl. The current rules as she had them are how i really would like it if we were to do it. I only am interested in my girl not some random person.

You say that now but I'm sure once you saw them enjoying one another, you'd want to get involved.. at least to the point of taking over where Miss Third was previous.

What will you do, John. You know she wants to, you don't want to. Will you stay with her, just go on like nothing has changed (which it has the minute she brought it up) or will you give in and then demand that be the end of it?

I'd be interested to see how you resolve this (or if you and she just let it hang in your room like a pink elephant)

[John903]

You're right. Her just bringing up the issue changes a lot. It doesn't matter that she said if i don't want to do it we don't have to. The fact that she expressed interest in doing the act is a significant thing. She has cheated on me once before but she promised me she would never do it again and I believe her. I don't think she would go behind my back with this. She has told me many times that she finds women attractive and would like a sexual experience with one but feels that she could never be with a woman in a relationship. I wonder if this position would change if we were to have a threesome.

[Wakeup]

Oh my! O.O

Do you really need to be hurt again before you get out, John?

Its one thing for her to want to experiment (when you don't, that's bad enough) but to want to while you don't and she's already cheated on you once, is quite another. This is red flag No. 2 in your relationship with her and that's only from what you've shared in 21 posts on this forum. How long have you actually been with her? In what frame of time has she cheated and told she she wants you to accept that she has a desire to be with a girl while you basically watch? It really IS all about her.

You know there are woman out there that wouldn't cheat on you and they'd certainly not propose a girl/girl situation when you've not voiced any indication that it was something you'd do. You really do appear to be non-compatible sexually... or morally/boundary wise for that matter. What compels you to stay with her?

[John903]

We've been together for close to a year now. What compels me to stay is that despite all the pain she's caused me she can be such an angel. Normally she is very sweet and thoughtful but has strange mood swings where things like this will happen. The mood swings normally happen during that lovely time of month. The rest of the month she makes me the happiest I've ever been.

[VerticalMoon]

I hope it was not just a mood swing which caused her to cheat on you because that should definitely not be an excuse. Anyway, if you're uncomfortable with the idea of a threesome, then you shouldn't do it. If she cares about you and values the relationship, she'll understand. She may just seem bothered because it's that time of the month, and she's looking for something to be upset about. I'd suggest giving her a few days. Then if she still seems upset about being turned down, talk to her about it.

[Wakeup]

We've been together for close to a year now. What compels me to stay is that despite all the pain she's caused me she can be such an angel. Normally she is very sweet and thoughtful but has strange mood swings where things like this will happen. The mood swings normally happen during that lovely time of month. The rest of the month she makes me the happiest I've ever been.

Not even a full year. Don't marry her. Divorce rates are so high because people ignore blatant incompatibility, lies, red flags of all kinds, cheating and mood swings. A steady diet of that shit gets real old, real fast. Odds are you're going to be caused pain through her hands yet again.

I do wish you well.

[michelle23]

I agree. I dont understand why youd even consider letting this go further and unless she has been diagnosed with some sort of hormone disorder or something-then she cant use her period or the fact shes a woman as an excuse for jack shit.

Your showing signs of blatant compatability and shes already giving you a load of red flags and warning signs. Ask yourself why are you with her? Do you not think your worth more?

[michelle23]

Sorry meant to say incompatability

[John903]

I've always had horrible self confidence. Before I met her I thought i was ugly and not a very good catch. She's helped me to realize that I'm a very special guy. She's helped me in a lot of personal growth. Maybe I'm too forgiving but I'm willing to put up with this kind of stuff. Do you guys think something is wrong with me? I think i'm fine but I don't know very much about mental disorders.

[Starnique]

Well this goes back to you being sexually imcompatible. She's also put restrictions on you wherein you can't touch the other girl, only she can. It's all about her. Some are okay with watching their partner have sex with another girl, or guy for that matter but it appears that you are not so now that you've talked about it and she is bothered that you don't agree it comes down to plain trust in that she won't go ahead and experiment without you.

... Are there any rules that if you changed up, you'd be okay with it? For instance that you do get to touch the other girl and you are the center of attention as much as she is for instance? Or is the whole idea of it just not something you want to partake in no matter what the rules/compromises are?

All the threesomes I know of, everyone was getting it in.

Now me personally, she would just be around for foreplay. Like if we are doing our thing she could do a little tasting here and there. Maybe. He couldnt stick it in her. The downside of that is sometimes you can allow certain things to come into your relationship I know this chick who was having threesomes on the regular with her husband and he got the other girl pregnant because he was still doing her without his wife. It was a mess, It was cray because they had 4 daughters and the other chick gave him his boy. Of course his wife got knocked up after and had a boy but it was like wow, she gave him his first son. Their still together though. She's cool. But anyway, my point is take all of that into consideration.

[HeheMan]

She's "bisexual" but has never been with a woman.

Let me guess, highschool?