having doubts and anxiety

[horndog]

I once registered on one of those sites. I had no intention of hooking up with anybody but was more interested in exchanging emails with somebody in a city my wife and I were going to be traveling to. I was hoping to find some night clubs or hotels a little more on the "adult" side but not sleazy or swinger oriented. When my wife and I travel sometimes she likes to "slut" it up a bit and let her hair down and dress and do things she would never do in our own hometown where everybody knows each other. I'm not talking anything like swapping but more of just wearing revealing clothes and flashing her boobs and stuff. Sometimes people on those sites are slutty enough themselves to know where the slutty places are lol. Anyway, all that aside there is still the simple truth that sometimes guys just do stupid shit just because we are guys and it does not always mean that we plan to back up the stupid shit with actions.

[stilldoubting]

yes i know your right. he is adamant he would never betray me. after a lot of talking calmly and asking questions, getting answers-i think i am ready to let this go.

just to clarify i have had anxiety since my granddad died and it has sparked a fear of losing someone else that i love. i think that is why i became paranoud and snooped. i think that is the only think that could split us up as it is unforgivable to me soo therefore i have been increasingly worried that he will betray me and everything i hold dear to me will be lost in an instant.

i have seen a doctor as some of the things i worry about are irrational. things that could happen ten years from now that probably wont. im improving and healing-i just need to know the man in my bed is not a stranger. that i really do know him and can trust him

[michelle23]

I remember watching an episode of Jeremy Kyle. A girl on it suspected her partner of cheating coz she found one of those sites in his history. When he came on stage, he was really laid back, laughing, joking, saying how him and his friends were just taking the p**s out of the website. It was fat women looking for sex apparently and they all got a great laugh off it. The problem was he registered on the site and did give his name. He swore he had no bad intentions-just messing around-that he would never cheat on her. To be fair to him he didn't look guilty at all. His story added up and he passed the lie detector test.

Sometimes men do stupid things that really don't mean anything but do look bad. If your bf was only on those sites once, didn't give details about himself, didn't flirt or even talk to anyone and has never been on them since-then I really think you have nothing to worry about. If he was interested in NSA he would have went on those sites everyday-they are addictive to people who are into that type of thing. He wouldnt have looked once and not signed back in again for a month.

[stilldoubting]

Thank you all so far for your advice. I would love to here more opinions please

[lalalita]

The fact that he didn't get defensive when you confronted him, or try to turn it into a 'YOU WENT THROUGH MY PHONE, HOW DARE YOU. I DON'T TRUST *YOU*' argument is strongly in his favor.