Lack of Marriage Proposal after 9 years together...feeling resentment/anger. Help.

[smackie9]

After nine years of dating my boyfriend, I feel extremely resentful, angry, used, hurt, alone and unloved. We are both in our early 30's.

My patience has gone and we've had more and more fights.

Two months ago, he delivered an invitation to me to attend his younger brother's wedding in September. The deadline to RSVP was a month ago and I purposely missed the deadline for it. He's been telling me that this wedding is a big deal and that I must attend with him since he is the best man.

It's possible.....now I'm just putting this out there.......he is insisting that you go because secretly he is going to use this venue to propose marriage to you.....maybe that's the "big deal" What better place to do it...in front of family.....just saying. So maybe use that as your deadline, and if nothing happens, then after the wedding tell him it's over.

[michelle23]

I agree that its unlikely he will ever propose if he hasnt by now. What excuses has he given you not you not to get hitched?

[toknow]

Every guy checks out other women, it doesn't mean they don't love their girlfriend.

Wrong. And wrong.

[searock]

Wrong. And wrong.

I can agree with your first "wrong" (not EVERY guy checks out other women, for example closeted gay men are probably not interested in other women).

I definitely don't agree with your second "wrong". It is simple logic, really: the fact that a guy checks out other women DOES NOT imply that he isn't in love with his girlfriend. In other words: it is possible that a man that is in love with his girlfriend checks out other women (without loving his girlfriend one bit less).

But whatever, I know you're messed up in the head when it comes to views on relationships and love.

[toknow]

I can agree with your first "wrong" ...
I definitely don't agree with your second "wrong"...

But whatever, I know you're messed up in the head when it comes to views on relationships and love.

It's not my wrong it's your wrong.

And try not to look in the mirror at least when responding to posts.

[smackie9]

It's possible.....now I'm just putting this out there.......he is insisting that you go because secretly he is going to use this venue to propose marriage to you.....maybe that's the "big deal" What better place to do it...in front of family.....just saying. So maybe use that as your deadline, and if nothing happens, then after the wedding tell him it's over.

I had another thought....what if it wasn't his cousins wedding after all? that it's a set up and it's actually your wedding? Wow wouldn't that be romantic?

[searock]

It's not my wrong it's your wrong.

And try not to look in the mirror at least when responding to posts.

Neener neener... ignore list *yawn*

[namemyname]

I had another thought....what if it wasn't his cousins wedding after all? that it's a set up and it's actually your wedding? Wow wouldn't that be romantic?

A surprise wedding that the bride knew nothing about and had no say in planning? Not picking her own gown, venue, food, flowers, colors, attendants, band, guests...

I think there's a reason why people don't have surprise weddings, Smackie. lol

[toknow]

Neener neener... ignore list *yawn*

You can ignore the truth all you want - it's not going to change it.

[smackie9]

A surprise wedding that the bride knew nothing about and had no say in planning? Not picking her own gown, venue, food, flowers, colors, attendants, band, guests...

I think there's a reason why people don't have surprise weddings, Smackie. lol

[namemyname]

Don't get your point in trying so hard to prove your point, which you failed at, BTW.

This bride already had planned her wedding, if you paid attention to the ending. He just surprised her early with the wedding she already planned, and included all the details she picked out, including her dress.

NO bride wants a surprise wedding. Stupid as shit, Smackie.

[Starnique]

Namemyname is right. I wouldn't like it if I was surprised with a wedding. I want my say so in everything. I would not appreciate it.

[michelle23]

Id let my man organize the wedding lol. As long as I can pick the dress, the venue, the food, the band and drinks I'm happy. If he wanted to do the rest-go ahead. Planning a wedding is stressful as hell.

Id rather us both work together though to organize everything. Team work If my man showed no interest in planning and organizing the wedding with me, I doubt we would make it to the alter.

[horndog]

My wife and I dated for 7 years before getting married. We just celebrated 15 years. There is still hope but you need to communicate your feelings.

[michelle23]

I do know lots of people who were together 10, 12 years or more before getting married but that is normal where I am from. A lot of people here marry their first love and they could be together years before the actual wedding due to financial reasons, age etc Most people I know have kids before marriage.