How to mentally hurt an ex boyfriend?

[basilandthyme]

The best revenge is getting on with your life

[Love is war]

I think some people are being a little harsh on the OP here, we don't know anything about the relationship, they could have been together for years and then he went off with another girl.

I've been in that situation before, my ex-boyfriend chose another girl and it completely ruined my self-esteem and I was devastated. It's only natural to want to hurt them like they hurt you, especially if they act like they don't care.

But don't sink down to their level OP, I know you probably want to hurt them and if it's true that he still likes you, the best way is to let go and to move on. Cut all contact with him, give yourself some space to heal, go out and meet new people. This will leave him wondering if you act like you don't care.

But make sure you aren't motivated by hurting him when you move on, it should be for yourself, taking spiteful revenge will only make you feel better in the short term.

[TablesandChairs]

Honestly, the best revenge is to be happy with your life; to move on like they never existed. To ensure they never have reason to think you're missing them or thinking about them. Doing anything to hurt them will simply indicate that they're still on your mind which equals a win for them and a lose for you.

The added benefit to following the above advice is that you'll actually move on with your life and soon enough, you won't be thinking about them; you won't care enough to want to hurt them.

Sleeping with someone just to make them jealous will probably hurt you more than it does them; it's your body so I wouldn't be trashing it around just to get a reaction.

[goodgalgonebad]

I think some people are being a little harsh on the OP here, we don't know anything about the relationship, they could have been together for years and then he went off with another girl.

I've been in that situation before, my ex-boyfriend chose another girl and it completely ruined my self-esteem and I was devastated. It's only natural to want to hurt them like they hurt you, especially if they act like they don't care.

But don't sink down to their level OP, I know you probably want to hurt them and if it's true that he still likes you, the best way is to let go and to move on. Cut all contact with him, give yourself some space to heal, go out and meet new people. This will leave him wondering if you act like you don't care.

But make sure you aren't motivated by hurting him when you move on, it should be for yourself, taking spiteful revenge will only make you feel better in the short term.

Thanks for defending me.

Just to let everyone know i was with this guy for four years

So i wana beat the crap out of him

Also thanks michelle23 for defending me too

[michelle23]

The best way I got revenge on my ex that I mentioned early was to ignore him, act like he doesn't exist, he is dead to you. If he comes crawling back (which mine did) just laugh at him and tell him your the best thing he could ever have and now someone else will get all the benefits of being your man coz he f**ked up and you are worth more.

Move on with your life, meet someone else, be happy. He will get his karma without you doing anything to him.

When I got revenge on that girl, it was mine and M's little secret so it didn't make me or him look bad to anyone. Nobody knew it was to piss her off so it didnt make me look like a twat haha and it really worked. It hurt her a lot. But if I went back and had the same chance again, I wouldn't do it. It wasn't worth hurting M for and making him a rebound. At the time I thought he was okay with being used to get revenge (it was all his idea) but now in hindsight I know the only reason he went along with it was because he was hoping I would develop feelings for him.

Its not worth hurting people for. You will move on, you will meet someone else and you will have a good man by your side who wont hurt you. You will learn from this experience and get everything you could possibly want and more. I did. That is the best revenge. Believe me he wont be happy-that is his karma my ex is miserable with a girl who was cheating on him for months but he knows he cant do any better so he chooses to stay with her like the doormat he is.

[LonelyHeart26]

First off. You shouldn't even care.

To make it short. This type of behavior puts off a huge red flag. Good quality mature woman don't do this.
The hell is wrong with you? SMH.

Oh, don't mind her, she's just one of those stereotypical "I'm so bad ass tough guy" members who makes evil posts or is generally just a cold hearted woman with no soul.

To be honest. I'm not going to bother dating anymore, I think both genders are most ( -most NOT all- ) are all the same and are just self-centered, careless, greedy, snobby, tight people.

'Some' women whine and whine saying "Oh my boyfriend doesn't treat me right, I want a sensitive man who'll understand me better" but as soon as she gets one, she abuses him! She gets all angry, bitchy, takes advantage of him and makes him feel worthless and then eventually cheats on him or leaves him for someone else.

'Some' men just want sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, sex and I did forget to mention SEX!!! They're so obsessed with reproducing, it makes me wonder if they're constantly on viagra. Most heterosexual men hate gay men yet they are obsessed with doing women in the butt which really hurts. This was "supposedly" the natural way gay men have sex, according to stereotypes. They just want blow jobs & anal sex 24/7! Yes, sex can be great, beautiful and amazing and it relaxes you too but for pee sakes, it gets freakin' boring after a while! One day, a guy's ball bag will just suddenly explode after the amounts of times he's beated off or harassed a vulnerable woman into bed.

I officially quite relationships. They're pointless. Love is a fake, temporary feeling and is just an excuse for disgusting lust.

[Wakeup]

... lolzzz...

[LonelyHeart26]

To Love is War, Michelle and the OP:

Whether or not she plans to hurt him in a good or bad way, harming another living being is just pure heartless. I can understand if she's angry if he cheated on her or hurt her but what exactly would she achieve out of vengeance? She'd be just as bad as him! Destroying another life just because they destroyed your's won't fix anything and I mean this in a non-angry way. I'm trying to stop the OP from making a huge mistake.

Suffering is never the answer, whether he did bad or good. If he suffers, you will too because everything will all come back to you, I know this for a fact because I've been raped, abused, bullied and my life destroyed and I plotted revenge on those who hurt me but it made me feel worse because then I realised, it will affect my reputation.

People in my town hate me and think I'm freak for my outbursts.

Revenge won't solve it, just find a different guy if you're so upset, let it go!
If you're that angry at him, do you really love him and want him back?
Is the suffering worth it all?

[fearoflove]

Honestly, the best revenge is to be happy with your life; to move on like they never existed. To ensure they never have reason to think you're missing them or thinking about them. Doing anything to hurt them will simply indicate that they're still on your mind which equals a win for them and a lose for you.

The added benefit to following the above advice is that you'll actually move on with your life and soon enough, you won't be thinking about them; you won't care enough to want to hurt them.

Sleeping with someone just to make them jealous will probably hurt you more than it does them; it's your body so I wouldn't be trashing it around just to get a reaction.

Move on for sure. But make sure he knows it. Don't be obvious about it though or else he would think you are doing it for his attention. Got to be subtle.

[horndog]

The best revenge is simply getting on with your life. By seeking to enact revenge you are only confirming that your ex still holds all the power in your past relationship with him as well as future relationships if you allow his behavior to change yours.

[michelle23]

To Love is War, Michelle and the OP:

Whether or not she plans to hurt him in a good or bad way, harming another living being is just pure heartless. I can understand if she's angry if he cheated on her or hurt her but what exactly would she achieve out of vengeance? She'd be just as bad as him! Destroying another life just because they destroyed your's won't fix anything and I mean this in a non-angry way. I'm trying to stop the OP from making a huge mistake.

Suffering is never the answer, whether he did bad or good. If he suffers, you will too because everything will all come back to you, I know this for a fact because I've been raped, abused, bullied and my life destroyed and I plotted revenge on those who hurt me but it made me feel worse because then I realised, it will affect my reputation.

People in my town hate me and think I'm freak for my outbursts.

Revenge won't solve it, just find a different guy if you're so upset, let it go!
If you're that angry at him, do you really love him and want him back?
Is the suffering worth it all?

She doesnt want to destroy his life. She just wants him to understand how he hurt her. I told her in my last post that I was 17 back then. I wouldn't react the same way now. Sure Id be angry and hurt but it would be his loss because he would lose me. That is the biggest revenge IMO and I would move on and meet someone better and he would forever regret losing the best thing he has ever had. I dont waste time on anyone. Screw me once and Im gone.

[LonelyHeart26]

The best revenge is getting on with your life

The first time I actually see you having common sense without being rude. Congrats! *sarcasm*

[LonelyHeart26]

She doesnt want to destroy his life. She just wants him to understand how he hurt her. I told her in my last post that I was 17 back then. I wouldn't react the same way now. Sure Id be angry and hurt but it would be his loss because he would lose me. That is the biggest revenge IMO and I would move on and meet someone better and he would forever regret losing the best thing he has ever had. I dont waste time on anyone. Screw me once and Im gone.

And let her ruin her life as well? Later she might regret her decision or will feel bad! And don't act like I don't know how it feels, I was raped, almost killed and abused, I feel her pain! I just don't want the OP to end up doing something stupid just because she's jealous or wants a guy to notice her. She is worth and deserves better than that. And you can call me any name under the sun and throw nasty, spiteful comments, I've said it before and I'll say it again, revenge and greed will get her NOwhere!

If she wants him to know she's hurt, she should just be direct and tell him straight up how he's made her feel, not be selfish and emotional hurt another being.

He's still a person!

Uh,, fxck it! You little girls go do whatever, I'm outta this thread but I still find it selfish & cold hearted and that the OP will make a huge mistake she'll later regret. It won't make her feel better seeing dead or crying. Sure, she'll feel better but she'll then feel bad that she did something just as wrong as he did and it'll make her feel 10 times worse!

And yes, I'm one of those peace activists, don't like it? Become a moderator yourself and wipe me off this message board!

All I want is for people to not be stupid and ruin life, life is already screwed up as it is.

************** END OF DEBATE!!! ********

[michelle23]

What are you talking about? I told her to get on with her life and forget him. Did you even read my post?

Sorry you were hurt. The people who did that to you are horrible but i am not one of those people. I have never been rude or nasty to you or insulted you lonelyheart so please stop bashing everyone here. If you have a prob with certain members take it up with them.

[smackie9]

I think everyone needs to see the real reason for this thread.....to help someone feel better by letting them know they are not alone and we are here to listen......a place to vent, release some of the pain. Just talking about it but not really doing it, can be therapeutic.


Again we should be focusing on helping and giving honest guidance rather than bickering over a difference of opinion given by others.


OP I wish you well, hope you are able to heal, move on quickly and find new happiness.