Who should have made the move, me or her?

[michelle23]

It would have shown she was willing to take a risk and it would have left her vulnerable for rejection. It just proves most women don't have the balls to do that and that's not an attractive quality. I initiate every other time I just wanted to try something different to prove a point.

Any woman worth her salt lets a man pursue her. Not the other way around. If the girl is attractive with an attractive personality-then she has plenty of options and she doesn't need to do any chasing. A man worth his salt will recognize a catch when he sees one and snap her up fast before someone else does.

Its got nothing to do with whether she has "balls" or not. A smart girl will not make it too easy for him as when she does-shes usually left scratching her head wondering where it all went wrong. Guys in general don't trust women who come on to him too strong.

[actualgoodguy]

Just disappointing that they can be that cowardly. They'd rather avoid the chance of getting hurt than face the possibility of rejection and meeting someone great.

[VincenzoG91]

Just disappointing that they can be that cowardly. They'd rather avoid the chance of getting hurt than face the possibility of rejection and meeting someone great.

Or maybe she got a bad vibe from you, picking up on some subtle negativity that you were displaying.

[michelle23]

I think you over complicate every thing. If you like a girl JUST ASK HER OUT

You don't need to play games. You could read every dating or pick up guide there is, watch endless hours of youtube videos with tips on how to impress women, search the internet for answers, spend hours asking for advice but each "strategy" you are told to use is all bollox.

The thing is if a girl is interested in you-she will be open from day 1 to go on a date with you. If shes not, she never will be and none of those stupid strategies or tips work. Its all Bullshit.

All you have to do is be yourself and be honest. For every girl whos not interested, there is another one who might be

[michelle23]

Just disappointing that they can be that cowardly. They'd rather avoid the chance of getting hurt than face the possibility of rejection and meeting someone great.

Its a known fact that men fear rejection far more than women do..

[pcmaster]

Where from this fact comes from?

[actualgoodguy]

Its got nothing to do with whether she has "balls" or not. A smart girl will not make it too easy for him as when she does-shes usually left scratching her head wondering where it all went wrong. Guys in general don't trust women who come on to him too strong.

It's not rocket science. If a guy likes a girl he should tell or show her and vice versa. So you're saying if a guy and girl go out, and both like each other after the date, the girl should still play hard to get? - that's just playing games. I'll just think she didn't have a good time if she comes off like that and I'll move on. If you like me, tell me, making it a guessing game will only distance the two and lead to trust issues - what's the big deal in just being honest? If a girl comes on strong, she likes me, if she's doesn't, she doesn't like me - it's that simple. And if you are playing hard to get just because you don't want to seem eager, then well that's the biggest turn-off because you're fake and not being honest to yourself or me.

[actualgoodguy]

Its a known fact that men fear rejection far more than women do..

In relationships? Of course, cause only men have to deal with it. If women approached/asked out men, women would fear it more. You only fear something if it's a possibility of happening to you or you actually experience it, so if women never ask guys out, why would they be fearful of rejection?

[michelle23]

It's not rocket science. If a guy likes a girl he should tell or show her and vice versa. So you're saying if a guy and girl go out, and both like each other after the date, the girl should still play hard to get? - that's just playing games. I'll just think she didn't have a good time if she comes off like that and I'll move on. If you like me, tell me, making it a guessing game will only distance the two and lead to trust issues - what's the big deal in just being honest? If a girl comes on strong, she likes me, if she's doesn't, she doesn't like me - it's that simple. And if you are playing hard to get just because you don't want to seem eager, then well that's the biggest turn-off because you're fake and not being honest to yourself or me.

I didn't say anything about "after the first date". I'm talking about before that. Neither should play hard to get when you have already established you both are on the same page

[michelle23]

Where from this fact comes from?

I would say the proof is here on this forum. We get way more men needing help than women especially when it comes to the beginning stages of dating

[VincenzoG91]

In relationships? Of course, cause only men have to deal with it. If women approached/asked out men, women would fear it more. You only fear something if it's a possibility of happening to you or you actually experience it, so if women never ask guys out, why would they be fearful of rejection?

I do agree with these points. Women are less worried about rejection because they are less likely to put themselves in a position where they will face rejection.

[michelle23]

Okay fair point I suppose. I have never asked a guy out and its not coz I fear rejection.. Its coz I am old fashioned lol and like to be courted a little.. I am a strong believer in equality but when it comes to making the first move-I do expect men to do it.

[actualgoodguy]

I would say the proof is here on this forum. We get way more men needing help than women especially when it comes to the beginning stages of dating

Why do we need help?...cause games are played in the early stages by women. You just said it yourself a few posts ago. This is what you said, "A smart girl will not make it too easy for him." That's the definition of game playing...you're purposely making it hard for him and being deceitful...why? Why would a smart girl not make it easy, wouldn't a smart girl want to do the right thing, be honest and not lie to a guy who she just met and likes.

So a smart girl would make it easy for the guy because it's the right and honest thing to do.

Example: You're saying don't make it easy for the guy. Say he's driving home from work and you know there's a 10 mile backup on the road he usually takes. He doesn't know and will be stuck in traffic for an hour. Would you tell him so he can take an alternate route or would you be a smart girl and not make it too easy for him. The point is, for some reason relationships and sex blur people's rational and cause them to do irrational things that they normally wouldn't do.

[actualgoodguy]

Okay fair point I suppose. I have never asked a guy out and its not coz I fear rejection.. Its coz I am old fashioned lol and like to be courted a little.. I am a strong believer in equality but when it comes to making the first move-I do expect men to do it.

Saying your old fashioned is a very convenient way of avoiding putting yourself out there and doing what guys have to do imo

[VincenzoG91]

Women who make it too easy for a guy tend to be labelled as sluts. And if they make it too hard, they get labelled as bitches.