What do make of this quote?

[whaywardj]

There's a whole other take on this nobody's brought up. She's trying to be honest and kind. The two things don't always fit well together. She's committed to trying to make the other thing work, she doesn't want hurt your feelings, and she wants to acknowledge that, under other circumstances, she might have a go with you. You're just complicating her affairs by making overtures to her. Let her go through whatever's she's going through without any prompting or persuasion from you. Let her let it play out. You never now what might happen when it does. You can sure, though, that if you annoy her while she's in it, she won't be looking your way later at all.

[No Bodies Hero]

Thanks Mr. Johnson. I am trying my best to find the answers so to speak. I wish she would have told me that she needed this or something. She just dropped me all at once. I know I haven't done anything to offend her. But I am just going to wait it out. That is all I can do. I have to let the hands of time take over and if she comes back great. But if not well I will have to move on. I have been telling my self that I need to move on and I will keep a spot open for her. But how long am I really wanting to wait....

Also If I find another women to talk to or be with I will not hesitate to move on. But I will always remember her. If you know what I mean..

It is just so hard. But I will suffice, I am a strong willed person.

-Joshua

[whaywardj]

But how long am I really wanting to wait....

Let me let you in on a little secret nobody talks about that much and even fewer like to hear. If it's real, you'll wait for as long as it takes, and be happy to do so. You won't be pining away, or moaning over your loss, or wishing for this or that or the other. But you WILL be waiting. You'll go on about your life, change jobs, get married, have kids, they'll grow up, you'll get divorced. And you'll STILL be waiting. Then you'll retire, take up a hobby, turn that into a second career, become a grandparent, trade in your blades for a mountain bike, sell the second business you created, take a world tour with your bike in tow...and still be waiting. Then, one day, years later, decades even, at an airport, hailing a cab, paying for a cup of coffee, you'll turn around and there she'll be. You'll each look beyond ALL the experiences etched into your faces and see each other as you were then..and it will be as if you never left each other.

Point is: Once you REALLY put ALL your emotional money down on ONE person, there will always be a part of you ready to receive them again. It doesn't go away. You just learn to live around it. If it comes to pass you never see them again, you take great pleasure in having had the blessing of loving at all...savoring that pleasure, perhaps, may even be the last thought you have before you die.

So, now. Go live.

[clynn]

Yah, falling for someone who is already in a relationship usually isn't a good idea. But sometimes sadly unavoidable.

[No Bodies Hero]

Thanks. I will go live my life. I just hope my dreams and wishes would come true for once...

[clynn]

then dont' fall in love with someone in a relationship.

[No Bodies Hero]

I never intended to fall in love with her. It just happend.

[whaywardj]

I never intended to fall in love with her. It just happend.

Oh, puke. I hate it when people say that. It's so mindless and irresponsible a statement. Things "just happen" in context. If you find yourself in circumstances that have a likelihood of interferring with or altering your current affairs, you have a choice: Stay in those circumstances and continue exposing yourself to the risk; or get out of them and minimize your exposure to the risk. That nature of what "just happens" depends on which choice you make.

[indigosoul]

Oh, puke. I hate it when people say that. It's so mindless and irresponsible a statement. Things "just happen" in context. If you find yourself in circumstances that have a likelihood of interferring with or altering your current affairs, you have a choice: Stay in those circumstances and continue exposing yourself to the risk; or get out of them and minimize your exposure to the risk. That nature of what "just happens" depends on which choice you make.

No W. I disagree. Feelings can, and do, "just happen". At least, sometimes you CAN'T stop them, no matter how you'd like them to. But what you DO about them is up to you, of course. I think that in life, and matters of karma (dharma for those more in the know), it is only acts of will that we are responsible for. Feelings are like breathing, and just happen as a part of life and living. But you can arrange your life to minimize the chance of those feelings having unwanted effects on acts of will. I think perhaps this is what you mean.

[indigosoul]

Let me let you in on a little secret nobody talks about that much and even fewer like to hear. If it's real, you'll wait for as long as it takes, and be happy to do so. You won't be pining away, or moaning over your loss, or wishing for this or that or the other. But you WILL be waiting. You'll go on about your life, change jobs, get married, have kids, they'll grow up, you'll get divorced. And you'll STILL be waiting. Then you'll retire, take up a hobby, turn that into a second career, become a grandparent, trade in your blades for a mountain bike, sell the second business you created, take a world tour with your bike in tow...and still be waiting. Then, one day, years later, decades even, at an airport, hailing a cab, paying for a cup of coffee, you'll turn around and there she'll be. You'll each look beyond ALL the experiences etched into your faces and see each other as you were then..and it will be as if you never left each other.

Point is: Once you REALLY put ALL your emotional money down on ONE person, there will always be a part of you ready to receive them again. It doesn't go away. You just learn to live around it. If it comes to pass you never see them again, you take great pleasure in having had the blessing of loving at all...savoring that pleasure, perhaps, may even be the last thought you have before you die.

So, now. Go live.

Hayward, dammit, i think i hate you now...

[whaywardj]

But you can arrange your life to minimize the chance of those feelings having unwanted effects on acts of will. I think perhaps this is what you mean.

Yeah. That's what I meant. Yes: Feelings just happen. But, Yes: You can choose to avoid situations where inappropriate feelings are likely to be stirred up.

[whaywardj]

Hayward, dammit, i think i hate you now...

I can understand how you might. But: Tell me I'm wrong.