How much sharing is too much?

[somehelp4me]

She is no where near as invested in you as you are in her. Major problems just off that, and then add everything else.
Leave her alone and let her reach out.

[searock]

Have you two even kissed?

[Silent Siren]

It's really not a matter of desperation. She has good qualities too. Aside from this crap she's an amazing girl. That's why I'm trying to give it a chance. Otherwise, I'd move on.

That's a lot of crap to put up with...no matter how amazing she might be otherwise. Having guy friends is one thing. Having guy friends sending gifts and not being nice to you is a different story. The real kicker is her leaving you when you were helping her and her friend. That's a deal-breaker. It's inconsiderate and rude and definitely NOT something a decent girl (much less amazing) would do...and if I were you, I would not accept that kind of behavior from anyone. Truthfully, this girl is learning very quickly that she can be self-centered and walk all over you and you'll still want to give her a chance. If you keep allowing things like that to happen to you, you're going to feel like a doormat and not gain the respect of any woman, particularly not this woman. There is a fine line between giving someone your best and allowing them to tread on you. Don't give her or any woman anything that she has not earned!

I'm not saying that you have to be a jerk. Just put up some boundaries as to what you will put up with and what you won't. A good woman will respect your boundaries when she learns them and you won't be afraid to talk to her about anything because she will create a safe space for you to talk to her. If she gets defensive about innocent questions regarding her relationships with others, then either she has something to hide or she's not all that interested in you.

If you are hell-bent on giving her a chance, you need to simply tell her that she either makes time for you away from her guys friends or she can hit the road. There is also nothing wrong with telling her that you don't like her having so many guy friends. Don't wait till later either because she will pull the "you were fine with this in the beginning" argument and she would be perfectly justified since you didn't say anything. And you tell her that if she ever pulls any bullshit like she did when you were helping her and her friend, she can forget it!

[abicer81]

Thanks. I really appreciate the advice. We did kiss of course, we hit it off right away. I tried to talk to her last night about it and she pretty much flipped. She said that she thinks I may have self esteem issues lol. That was the first time I talked to her in roughly 2 days. It's pretty much over now. It sucks but better now than later, ya know.

[TheEvilJester]

I wasn't there to hear the conversation, so I certainly can't judge for sure. But, that definitely sounds as though you are better off without her. I mean, you try to have a civil conversation with her in hopes of actually taking your relationship seriously, and her reaction is to flip out? She sounds pretty selfish, if you ask me. That certainly makes it sounds a lot more like she just enjoys playing around with guys emotions and stringing them along. She just doesn't want to be called out on it. After that reaction, I would personally recommend you forget her. If she has any interest, she can contact you. Though, were I you, I'm not sure I'd have anything to do with her even if she did anyway.

[BackUpOrGetStng]

**** this girl(she'll be back) while you look for someone worth having a relationship with. It's all she's worth, and if she's not giving that up, then don't even bother breaking it off with her. Just stop answering her calls/texts.

[abicer81]

Its always something here. Im a civilian living in a military town and dating so ****ing hard here. The people all have unlimited dating options....except civilian guys lol. The only reason why I still live in this dump is to help my parents. Otherwise I'd be gone. But still not losing hope or giving up. There are many people still out there for all of us who don't have an ulterior motive. When and why they show up when they do is still a mystery to me but I'm willing to wait it out. Best to just ride the wave and see where it takes one.